tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post3942532199656285439..comments2024-01-16T04:04:41.045-05:00Comments on Someday I'll Sleep Autism Blogs: Different.Cammie Dianehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-47855144984161872702014-04-30T18:50:49.683-04:002014-04-30T18:50:49.683-04:00Honestly, I think the whole "socialization&qu...Honestly, I think the whole "socialization" thing with play dates and so on is pushed on kids too early in this society. When I was a kid (back in the "olden" days) kids stayed home with their mommies and siblings until first grade. Most didn't even go to kindergarten. That means most kids were 6 years old before they really interacted with kids who weren't related (such as siblings or cousins). There is nothing wrong with it.<br />Sorry you find play areas too open to take Mae to. A playlot in my neighborhood has a closing gate, so no escape. It has lots of swings and climbing things for the kids, and looks like fun. SO maybe you could call around, or ask at the University and see if there's a playground around that is enclosed. Or even suggest such an enclosed playground to your local government official. It might be taken up as a good idea.<br />And don't worry or feel like others are judging you or think you are anti-social. You don't need to justify your actions as a parent to anyone else.<br />And if you do interact with other moms, you can offer an unsolicited explanation in general, like, "Oh, my Mae is so active, I just can't manage her and my little one without my husband here." Then change the subject.<br />Often times in our lives we are dealt cards we would never have chosen for ourselves. If we stick with God, and have faith in Him, we may not get what we wanted or expected, but we will get something that is ultimately more beautiful than we could ever dream.<br />God Bless. ~ BonnieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-63251309819705492502014-04-30T14:17:46.366-04:002014-04-30T14:17:46.366-04:00Nope, I don't think she needs to go to school ...Nope, I don't think she needs to go to school at all. I actually think that socialization in the home, with siblings if possible, is the best socialization that can possibly occur and I really, really disagree that putting a kid in a class with a bunch of other kids who are the same age and letting them develop a pecking order is at all helpful to social development. Even a tiny bit. <br /><br />Sadie and I spend all morning together with my focus totally on her while we do school. Then she plays all day with her siblings. When we go to ballet on Saturday and she sees other kids she's always the first kid to go up and say hi to any kids who are new and ask them to play. She talks with adults and people of all ages. <br /><br />I just don't quite buy into the artificial "must put kids in a classroom with other kids their age" sort of socialization that society pushes. It's just not a direction I want my kids taking.<br /><br />Think about it historically. For the vast expanse of history kids haven't been in peer groups their own ages to be socialized and actually would usually be around their peers. <br /><br />I also totally don't mean this as an insult to those who've chosen that path, I mean, others are free to choose it, but I think that people make it out to be more necessary than it actually is. <br /><br />When I see Sadie playing with her sister connecting with her sister, talking about their friendship, I can't imagine better best friends. <br /><br />And when I think of how she's handled the various bullies this age that she's encountered from swim lessons to social events we've been at (she did it well... but just couldn't understand why some kids are so cruel...) I'm more thankful than ever that I can help preserve that innocence for a little bit longer.<br /><br />I think we just probably have very different beliefs about what our kids need. Thankfully I know mine and can tell that she is getting what she needs through our family, just as the majority of humanity has done throughout the ages! <br /><br />But thank you for your concern (and I totally mean that!). I know it's a very common one! Cammie Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-47902972071858018032014-04-30T13:35:53.713-04:002014-04-30T13:35:53.713-04:00I kind of get what you are saying. We had a preem...I kind of get what you are saying. We had a preemie in 2008 during flu season. We were on total lockdown. ZERO public places, not even Church. We just couldn't risk the baby getting sick. My older child, who was used to going out and about, having playdates, etc. suddenly was a homebody. We did that for about 6 months. It was really hard and isolating. I think I was depressed, but didn't realize it at the time. I was just doing what moms do, getting the days done and protecting my kids. Looking back, I do wish I had reached out a bit more, but back then it didn't seem possible. Anyway, we did what we had to do.<br /><br />It's hard when one child dictates what the rest can do. Sadie would benefit from making girlfriends and such. Part of the concern people have over homeschooling is that the kids don't make those connections with their peers that are important for their social and emotional development. You aren't in a position to help Sadie make those connections right now. That must be hard!<br /><br />I say this with all due respect, and as someone who supports parents who want to homeschool - do you think this might a time to consider a traditional school for Sadie? It might give her an opportunity to have her "own" little thing, and not always be subject to her sister's needs. It might be great for her to get out of the home while Mae is doing her therapy. It would certainly be great for her socialization.<br /><br />I'm sure you've thought of that already, and I absolutely do NOT mean it as a criticism of your choices or abilities, but just an idea. I totally get that you intend to homeschool but sometimes things do change or unexpected circumstances come up. I know as a sibling to someone with special needs (my parents adopted a child with Down Syndrome when I was 11) it can seem like the world revolves around the neediest child. The world can be very small when parents are wrapped up with a special needs child. Kids can only understand that to a certain extent. Again, no insult intended at all, just an idea. Sadie is so bright and curious, I bet she would LOVE school.<br /><br />MargaretAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-88768367199284437812014-04-30T08:02:29.288-04:002014-04-30T08:02:29.288-04:00Reading this makes me feel better about the past; ...Reading this makes me feel better about the past; all the times I didn't do the things that I felt I should have. (and I didn't have a runner either) I could go to parks but there was no socialization. It wasn't until my fourth kid (adopted) that I figured out that it's a chicken and egg deal; a social child attracts other kids and their moms; a non social child pushes them away.Patiencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08567149340809225297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-12845556779520376372014-04-30T02:10:24.844-04:002014-04-30T02:10:24.844-04:00It may not be what you imagined, but it is a beaut...It may not be what you imagined, but it is a beautiful life. I love being at home too, but Susi forces me to go out of my natural habits and socialize :). We all just adjust to our kids, and in the end it doesn't matter how people may view you, what matters is the home you created for your family. You are doing great.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00074130083673975640noreply@blogger.com