tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post7983563254836232248..comments2024-01-16T04:04:41.045-05:00Comments on Someday I'll Sleep Autism Blogs: Choosing Joy in the Midst of Chaos.Cammie Dianehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-46638309006525258822014-04-22T18:01:31.758-04:002014-04-22T18:01:31.758-04:00Our little Gabe also employs the "uh oh"...Our little Gabe also employs the "uh oh" while he is doing something he shouldn't (dropping food and other things off his high chair tray, playing with remotes, TV buttons...) He also holds his arms out in a sort of "how did that happen?" kind of gesture. <br /><br />I had actually wondered the same thing as Bonnie with regard to communicating that certain behaviors - sensory-seeking or not - cannot be tolerated. It sounds as if your girls react the same way ours did... hated to disappoint and were therefore generally good, though younger DD had her moments, at least until she started kindergarten.<br /><br />Mariedixieaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12923834034976250382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-7751415263684104342014-04-21T23:19:19.575-04:002014-04-21T23:19:19.575-04:00No problem! I know it's not really something ...No problem! I know it's not really something I've talked about much. <br /><br />The girls are both so sensitive that usually they're more upset about having done something than anything else.<br /><br />Now Patch, I think he's going to be my handful. When I say no to him he smiles at me, laughs and runs and keeps doing whatever it is he shouldn't be doing while saying "uh oh" in a loud voice (or some variation of the scenario! I have a feeling he is definitely going to be a challenge in coming years with his mix of charming and naughty!Cammie Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-76886109795912096562014-04-21T23:13:56.501-04:002014-04-21T23:13:56.501-04:00That's great and I'm so glad she is being ...That's great and I'm so glad she is being treated the same way as the other kids. That way she's not using her differences to fool anyone into being soft on her. Kids test parents to find out the limits, and unless you set them and then enforce them, the kids will not know where the boundaries are. <br />I sure can understand her sensitive reaction to having done something wrong. I remember when I was a kid in second grade one time I didn't do my math homework and the teacher told me to go into the cloakroom where I would be punished (those were the days when the swatted you once on the behind with a ruler). When she came in, I burst into tears and began shaking and crying so hard that she melted and knelt down to hug and comfort me. I think it was the knowledge that I had disappointed her, and that she was angry with me that upset me so, so much. Honestly, from that day on I never did not complete a homework assignment for the rest of my school years. So I feel for Maggie, and her reaction when she realizes she has done something wrong and will be punished. <br />Thanks for answering my curiosity about how you handle discipline for her.<br />God Bless. ~ BonnieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-77274197595277901322014-04-21T23:04:29.275-04:002014-04-21T23:04:29.275-04:00I just thought of this just to add to the explanat...I just thought of this just to add to the explanation above... usually when Mae breaks things it's out of her extreme strength/clumsiness/ climbing for sensory stimulation, rather than when she's actually doing something she shouldn't be. That's probably the hardest part! Because she really is generally such a sweet, good little girl, most of the trouble she gets into is sensory seeking behavior... and the clumsiness that she inherits ever so honestly from both her parents (although that's also part of her sensory problems too). Thankfully, I met with her OT today and hopefully the new therapy and all the routines they'll be adding to my day will help with that too!Cammie Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-39511877375208936902014-04-21T22:30:21.950-04:002014-04-21T22:30:21.950-04:00Hi Bonnie,
Oh she still definitely is disciplined...Hi Bonnie,<br /><br />Oh she still definitely is disciplined and stopped from being naughty (I don't talk about it a ton since that's not usually the focus of my posts), but sometimes her reaction to the natural consequences (as in this case) are so severe that there's no need for even being told that she's done something. She knew she wasn't supposed to do what she'd done and she was hysterical for about a half hour... In terms of discipline I would say I treat her pretty much the same as I did Sadie at her age. <br /><br />She's bright and I'd say 90% of the time she knows when she's doing something naughty. Her discipline is, in general probably less, because what happens to her naturally when things go wrong tend to be more traumatic and upsetting to her, if that makes sense. <br /><br />And because most of the problems we have aren't actual naughtiness. I'd say 9 out of 10 times the hardest parts of the day have to do with sensory overload rather than intentionally doing something wrong. <br /><br />I'd say our expectations for her behavior are pretty high. When we go out she knows how she's supposed to behave and usually behaves well, with I'd say an average to low amount of meltdowns for her age (unless it involves sitting still for more than an hour, like at Mass... that's pretty much her limit... but again, that's not surprising for any three year old). <br /><br />Actually in general, I'd say that her and Patch's consequences are pretty similar (developmentally she's around 16-18 months if tests are to be believed). Tantrums that don't end equal time alone in their room until they calm down. They know they have limits. <br /><br />Since I try to focus on the positive though, I can totally see how it would might come across that way! Cammie Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07137080807945525006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-80543701392239785512014-04-21T21:26:02.976-04:002014-04-21T21:26:02.976-04:00I love your attitude, and I agree with your stance...I love your attitude, and I agree with your stance, because your own anger and frustration was not going to make the situation better. But I wonder something. I know she is only three, and that can excuse a lot, but if Sadie did this sort of thing at three, how would you have talked to her about it? Would you have scolded her and disciplined her (in an age appropriate way)? If Patch does something like this at three, how will you teach him no? Does her autism mean Maggie cannot understand naughtiness? Sometimes kids innocently do the kind of things you describe, and harsh reactions and punishments are counterproductive. But I wonder, at what point should a special needs child be expected to behave and realize there are consequences to some of her behavior? Can she be expected to exercise some self control? How will she learn this? Although not at all exactly analogous, I think of the play "The Miracle Worker" about the life of Helen Keller. Before Annie Sullivan no one expected good behavior from Helen. But she was out of control. Only Annie had the courage to expect her to behave. I'm glad you saw Mae’s getting into the ointment as just "one of those things" and didn't let it throw you for a loop. I’m glad you looked at the positive side of this. I hope as she grows, and gets more therapy, it will also become evident just what she can manage in terms of self control, and understanding of acceptable behavior.<br />God Bless. ~ Bonnie<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-89723907333524975302014-04-21T20:11:39.832-04:002014-04-21T20:11:39.832-04:00Cam, you have a big heart and nerves of steel. ;)
...Cam, you have a big heart and nerves of steel. ;)<br /><br />God bless.<br /><br />Mariedixieaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12923834034976250382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-79610445516310326852014-04-21T14:20:17.627-04:002014-04-21T14:20:17.627-04:00I love your attitude! So hard to find joy in the ...I love your attitude! So hard to find joy in the chaos but you are doing a wonderful job.Beth Cotellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14536268080265726705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-64201186311454370812014-04-21T13:16:16.336-04:002014-04-21T13:16:16.336-04:00Your post is most timely for me. Thank you! God b...Your post is most timely for me. Thank you! God bless and Happy Easter!Peklet Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197235588914712505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-54022674013707491992014-04-21T13:14:11.242-04:002014-04-21T13:14:11.242-04:00Cammie, you are amazing. This is beautiful. God ...Cammie, you are amazing. This is beautiful. God bless you --- what a way to look at challenges. And yes, Mae sounds like such a sweet and precious little girl even with all the drama. Thanks for sharing. lindaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-72564212560595171002014-04-21T13:02:04.432-04:002014-04-21T13:02:04.432-04:00I needed to hear this. I have three kids, none of...I needed to hear this. I have three kids, none of whom are on the spectrum, but I always find myself especially exasperated by my strong-willed son. Rather than choosing to react as you do, I default to my own meltdown. Hopefully going forward I can try to choose to react as you do. It would certainly help me to be a better mother, and maybe not have to bring this struggle to the confessional each month!Traciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04255033554653510277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8188078120365131355.post-88277785086584192562014-04-21T12:23:37.632-04:002014-04-21T12:23:37.632-04:00Blue Dawn works well for grease stains- though you...Blue Dawn works well for grease stains- though you probably know this!Emnoreply@blogger.com