Postpartum Weight and Misconceptions

A few weeks ago I was reading a post about the struggles of postpartum weight loss that really hit close to home for me, this fourth time postpartum, and I made the mistake of scrolling down through the comments.

One commenter, who was very obviously well meaning, said something about how gluttony had never been her sin, but she had plenty of other struggles, they were just less obvious and she really felt for those who struggle with such an obvious sin.

Now gluttony hadn't been the subject of the post to begin with, it was about the way our bodies change after we have babies, and on that day I started to write this post in my head and today I think I have the time to actually sit down and write it.

For most of my life I have been naturally on the thin side.  In college I struggled to gain weight to play rugby after a coach told me that I needed to gain at least thirty pounds.  I was fluctuating between a size 0 and 2 at this point and drinking weight gainer shakes (with thousands of calories that I could barely keep down) and eating two Chipotle burritos and a order of chips and guacamole at a time (along with many, many other things) and still the scale would not budge.  At the time it seemed like a huge, huge problem.

In retrospect it's a "problem" I would love to have today.

In the last eight years I've been pregnant five times.  I've delivered four full term babies.  And each time the pregnancy weight loss has felt increasingly more difficult.

With Sadie I was wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans a week after she was born.  I had gained forty pounds while I was pregnant with her, but the weight came off quickly.  I felt "huge" but in hind sight I was delusional.  It took twelve months to totally lose the weight, but it was still easy.

The second time the pregnancy weight came off rather easily again.  I mean, I thought it was work, but relatively, looking back, it really wasn't.  I was making chicken casseroles and eating bread and occasionally pizza and the weight still steadily disappeared.  It was gone before the year mark again.

As I approached thirty my metabolism, which up until that point had carried me along without much effort, hit a wall.  I wasn't loosing much weight post partum with Patch until he came down with a mysterious allergy and we had to wait three months to get in to see his allergist and I went on a full elimination diet for a months that meant I could basically only eat meat and fruit and vegetables, while nursing a two month old.

While eating around the clock to try to get enough calories I lost the pregnancy weight in a month.   I struggled to keep my milk supply up. Without that scare I know that it would have likely been more like the struggle that I'm experiencing this time around.

I guess you could say that up until that point I thought I was losing the weight because I was active and ate healthily and as a result I was reaping the benefits of that behavior.

Enter the James postpartum period.

Coming back from this... isn't easy.

We still walk a lot.  I have no problem pushing a 160 lb stroller loaded with three kids, twelve miles.  My diet hasn't changed.  But my body isn't getting the message this time.  I weight about ten pounds less than I did when I had Sadie.  Which for the first time in my life puts me solidly in the range that the BMI chart tells me is "overweight."

Six months after Patch was born.

It means that I'm about 55 lbs more than my lowest weight after college and about 20 more than I'd like to be (30 would be ideal), which I know isn't a lot, but which has been eye opening for me.

Because life is basically exactly the same.  I'm eating far less than I have at other times in my life.  I'm on my feet just about all day every day.  I cook homemade meals for my family and I know that I'm healthy.

Only this time I'm not seeing the results.

We do all have different struggles, but the assumption that someone is overweight because their "gluttonous" isn't necessarily true.  People metabolize food differently.  Some people can eat like I used to and not gain wait.  Others can look at a cup of ice cream and gain five pounds.

We also have these insane expectations of what a postpartum body is supposed to look like.  I know that I have had those expectations, at least for myself, and because I know that I'm healthy I've been working to see myself through the eyes of my two year old, who thinks I'm a princess and through the eyes of my five year old who giggles when I talk about mermaids and doesn't care that my tummy is more squishy than it was when she was one.

After five pregnancies in eight years my stomach perpetually looks like I'm in the second trimester of pregnancy for about twelve months after I'm pregnant (which seems like a great time to tell you to go read Jenny's post here.  I'm the one in the black dress on the right hand side and it's a great post).

In the past my stomach has mostly gone back to it's old self about five minutes before I'm pregnant again.  I've been told repeatedly by commenters on the blog that I must have diastasis recti, and I know lots of women who do, but I actually don't.

My stomach muscles actually have no separation whatsoever.  They just are soft now.  And stretched out.  They've been cut apart and sewn back together four times in seven years.  And it takes them a little longer each time to go back to their old shape. I'm not totally sure that they ever will, even though I can totally do V-ups again.

I would like to lose these last few pounds.  I won't lie.  Some days I really would.  Other days when I'm playing on the ground with the kids I realize that as long as I'm healthy it doesn't matter all that much if I have a box of pre-baby clothes that I may never fit in again.

In the best moments I can steal glimpses of how they see me, and know that it's all totally worth it, even with my soft, squishy tummy.  After all it makes a much, much better pillow for snuggling than the one I used to have anyways.  Now if I can just remember that all the time, I'll be just fine.

The Baby Weight Sage Continues: 4 Months Post Baby Bump!

Lately we’ve been so busy that I haven’t had a chance to ride my exercise bike in weeks. And I really, really needed to be riding that bike because while I was baking for the craft fair last month I gained back a little of the baby weight that I had lost (eight pounds). However, all of the drama of the past weeks over our living situation has had one (and only one) positive aspect… the stress “helped” me take those extra lbs off plus 2 more. So I have now lost 30 lbs and have 15 more to go to be back to my pre-baby #2 weight.

Over the past few months there was one pair of shoes that I have had my eye on. Sketchers Shape Ups. Yet in my world there is absolutely no way that I am going to be plunking down a hundred dollars for a pair of shoes (shoes should not cost more than my exercise bike!), even if simply lacing those shoes onto my feet could make my body go back to pre-baby(s) condition.

I was very, very excited yesterday when I saw the Dankin version of the new rocker bottom shoes, the Danskin Now- Women’s Athena Rocker Bottom Toning Sneakers, at Walmart (where the picture above is from!). If you order them online they cost all of $18 with a $.97 shipping fee.

So far my legs feel fine (I was expecting excruciating tiredness). I do wonder if the lack of soreness is because my legs are used to carrying my own weight plus the weight of a 34 lbs toddler and an 18 lbs baby, so walking on rounded soles really isn’t that dramatically difficult (people don’t always realize how strong moms have to be!).

In my opinion they are very comfortable (something else that I wasn’t expecting at all!). And hopefully they’ll help me take off these last baby lbs!

A quick side note: The picture shows a dress Paul bought me for Mother’s Day this year. I finally fit it in for the first time today! I was actually pretty shocked when it zipped up easily! One little victory in the baby-weight battle!

Weekly Baby Weight Loss Update!

I just completed my nightly 45 minutes on the exercise bike. I'm currently stuck at the same weight I was stuck at with Sadie! And it's kind of frustrating! I've now lost 28 lbs (that means I'm 17 lbs from my goal)!

I dug up this picture to help motivate myself. Here I am near my goal weight (back in the day before I had discovered cute little white Church sweaters!)! That is still my favorite dress though!

And here's another blast from the past! Check out the curls!

Maybe I'll try to bump it up to an hour each night on the exercise bike. I did it once this week. But even with netflicks I just get bored!

Losing the Baby Weight: Week 7

Maggie will be seven weeks old tomorrow and I've been avoiding my "weekly weight loss" posts since week 2. That's because those first two weeks were so easy. Just like last time the first twenty pounds just disappeared. And then they stop disappearing: halfway to my goal.

I have thought: If only I were one of those women that gained the recommended twenty to twenty-five pounds, I'd already be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

But that just doesn't sound all that realistic to me either (and I don't think that's realistic when there's almost 10 lbs of baby in the picture). It just doesn't seem like we're supposed to be back to our pre-pregnancy weight two-weeks after giving birth. That seems just a little too quick!

I was trying to take it easy until I got the okay from my OB (which I have now). And I'm definitely not going to be "dieting." I'm just trying to eat as healthily as is possible and am walking as much as I can (the triple digit heat we've had here has made that difficult). Hauling around a fourteen pound seven week old and an almost forty pound two year old won't hurt either. I think my arms are stronger than when I was playing rugby and surfing or spending five days a week at a karate dojo.

Actually walking and hauling the girls around is a little easier this week. Nani and Grumpa gave us this stroller day before yesterday, and yesterday we took it out for a spin in town.

I hadn't wanted a stroller where the girls were sitting side by side (because right now that has them a little too close for comfort, since Sadie has "helpful" down but not "gentle") and I really liked the idea of having a little shield between Sadie's and Maggie's feet. And they've been cuter than I imagined was possible. Sadie sits forward as far as the harness allows and holds Maggie's hand. Yesterday they both fell asleep on the way home from our evening family walk.

But it is heavy (especially with all that baby in it!). I'm hoping it's going to be a big part of my workout/weight loss plan.

And now for the seven week update: 27 lbs down... 18 lbs to go. It would be nice to reach my goal by Christmas!

That would be around 4 lbs a month... I think that should be doable... especially now that we're getting to the time of year when it's not actually too hot to go outside!

Losing the Baby Weight: Week 2

I'm halfway there. And that means one thing... the pounds that have been falling off up until this point are about to take a dramatic dip. Eventually, once I get the go ahead from the doctor, it will mean working to get back into shape.

So far I'm 24 lbs down with 21 lbs left to go.

Of course in this case "working" to get back in shape doesn't mean anything drastic. I'll still be eating the same amount because I know that cutting back at all could be disastrous to my milk supply (when Sadie was around 10 months old I tried eating just three regular meals on Ash Wednesday... and I ended up with a screaming baby that night when my milk disappeared until the next day... so I have learned my lesson!). It just means doing something more than walking back and forth from one end of town to the other (and producing insane amounts of milk so Maggie can cluster feed 10 times in a row like she did this evening!).

I have a couple of exercise DVDs I've been dying to try out during nap time and I'd love to reintroduce plyometrics into my daily workout routine (lunges while pushing a stroller! and that sort of thing). Maybe I'll get really ambitious someday and train to run a 5k or a spring triathalon (all that toddler chasing ought to be good for those goals).

I'm counting the days until I can scoop Sadie up into my arms again. That actually seems to have been the hardest part of this whole "new baby sister" process for her. She loves Maggie and she's proud to be a big sister... but she really misses Mommy being able to pick her up and carry her around. And I miss it too!

Losing the Baby Weight: Week 1

Okay, I'm not really actively trying the lose the baby weight at this point... I'm more like a casual (although keenly interested) observer. But I have to say that I was a little shocked when I was over at Nani's house the other night and I stepped on the scale (we don't have one at the apartment). I'd only lost seven pounds. For a moment I was shocked. How was the possible? I delivered a nine plus pound baby and I only lost seven pounds?!?!?! Then I reminded myself that the next two days were spent with bags of fluids being pumped in through my IV... and the question answered itself.

Here's a recap as I begin the slow journey back towards my pre-pregnancy weight. When I found out that I was pregnant with Sadie I weighed in at 126 lbs. I weighed 168 at my last doctor's appointment before I delivered her. Pre-Maggie I had made it down to 125 the month before we found out that I was expecting. This time I maxed out at 169, although I'd started to lose weight the last couple of weeks. So I gained 44 lbs give or take a few pounds.

Yesterday, at one week post-baby, I weighed myself again (right before dinner... I would like to try a morning weigh in and see if that was a bit more dramatic) and was down to 156. 13 lbs down... 31 lbs to go.

Last time the first 20 went quickly and then things got a little bit slower, although it stayed pretty steady until I was within 10 lbs of my goal.

I am wearing a postpartum c-section corset pretty much 24/7 for support. And it is definitely a key factor in fitting back into my old clothes quickly!

And that is my first post-baby weight loss update. I really hope this time things go along as quickly as last time. Right now after a catching-the-falling-toddler-mishap that resulted in a large dark purple (almost black) bruise along my incision, I am off of even going on walks for a while... It's so hard not lifting the 35 lb toddler. She's constantly crashing and I reach out to catch her without thinking (she's also in a climbing phase, which really doesn't help) and the result is never good! I can hardly wait to be 6 weeks post baby and able to scoop her up again!

So this is the beginning of my once a week "get back in shape" posts. I'm hoping weekly updates will help me resist temptation next time I'm facing a snickers bar (my greatest weakness!).

Post Pregnancy Weight Loss

I finally did it! Thirteen months after giving birth I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight! I gained a whooping 42 pounds when I was pregnant with Sadie (did I mention that she was 9 lbs 4 oz and 22 inches long! She is definitely taking after her dad!). I have now lost a whooping 42 lbs! And I learned a thing or two along the way about losing post-baby weight and feeling good. Here is what instantly comes to mind.

-Girdles- I can't remember when I heard that wearing a girdle after pregnancy can help you get your figure back, but I can tell you that it definitely made mobility easier after my c-section. I quickly found that when I was wearing a girdle (or two at the beginning, once I learned how much better it made my stomach muscles feel) the pain was considerably lessened. After looking up once and finding that even that movement takes stomach muscles (and after nearly falling over backwards) I started wearing it all the time, when I was awake and asleep. I don't know if it really did help my muscles contract and heal back in place, which was one of the claims that I saw frequently made once I looked into it, but it made me feel much better.

-Fiber- This may the most important thing I learned about weight loss. I didn't know anything about fiber pre-baby. Post baby, with all the post baby problems that accompany childbirth, I found fiber to be a lifesaver. When I stopped taking fiber supplements I noticed I stopped losing weight. When I started taking them again the weight loss would slowly pick back up. When I told my husband about this he started taking fiber supplements too and he was shocked at the weight her began to lose. My personal favorites at this point are the Fiber One Caramel Granola Bars. I love them!

-Walking- I guess this goes under general exercise, but going on daily walks with the baby (which have currently been put on hold because of the three digit heat) makes me feel better and can help her get a nap in on days when she's insisting that she's absolutely not tired.

-Having a Toddler- I think this may be the greatest contributing factor at pushing me over the edge to lose those last few pounds. I spend so much time trying to get food into Sadie's little mouth that there are usually a few minutes between each bite that I take. Since I'm eating so slowly the food actually gets to my stomach and I'm noticing that I'm completely full after eating a lot less than I used to eat. I do miss being able to eat an entire meal without having to beg Sadie to take a bite though!