Thursday, December 27, 2018

The Search for the Christmas Pickle and Other Great Moments

Merry Christmas! 

The first morning of the Christmas season has come and gone (and who knows how many more before I finally finish this post) and the most exciting moment may have been when the kids raced downstairs to find the pickle ornament in the tree.

The night before Paul had teased me that Sadie wouldn't find it. 

"Oh yeah, put it so low that the almost six foot tall girl will never see it!" he'd laughed as I hid it where every kid might have a chance of finding it.

"I can't put it higher than the littlest kids can reach!" I'd said, even though I doubted Tessie would actually be looking.

But when Sadie flew into the room, the first thing that she said was "it can't be above this high, because mom would never put it higher than the littlest kid could reach!" and she was suddenly circling the tree crouched down, on a serious mission to find the pickle ornament before anyone else.

And find it she did. 

Tessie believed that every present was a family gift and enjoyed the day thoroughly.

The only presents that weren't being freely shared with her were the ones that were too tiny for her to play with since she's definitely still at the "everything goes into the mouth" phase at two and a half.

She was, however, especially interested in these tiny toys, and would try to swipe them (there weren't many, only a couple) and then sneak away upstairs into the Orange Play Room to hide. I snapped this picture after catching her absconding with an LOL doll downstairs. Once she realized she was allowed to have her Catboy doll she came out and alternated between jumping on the bed and hiding under the covers for at least an hour, which is her next favorite activity.

It was also definitely a good way for her to take a break from all the noise and chaos of her brothers and sisters.

Her other favorite thing to do was stealing Bopa's chair.

Because it rocks and she realized that it rocks and she thought that that was pretty amazing.

What we didn't know at the time was that we were about six hours away from a stomach bug full out striking Tessie, James, and Maggie. But I am just very, very thankful it held off until after Christmas day.

Well I can't say that we didn't entirely know that we were starting to get sick. It is definitely one of the reasons the kids and I were in pajamas all day. I'd been feeling like I was fighting something off all week and so had Sadie. But we seemed to just manage to fight it off as the little kids completely were overcome by the bug.

Thankfully they seem to be completely recovered now.

The #1 present of the day was definitely the Scruff-a-Luvs. I can't explain the attraction but three out of five kids are obsessed.

I can say that the very best thing for these little fur covered balls of glue is to toss them in the washing machines. The kids tried to wash them by hand and they were a horrible mess and were still covered in glue afterwards. 

After a day of barely being able to keep it to myself how terrible they looked, I put them through the wash with some sheets and they look...somewhat less scruffy and slightly more loveable. At least they're slightly fluffy now.

I think that  one of the most impressive parts of the day was watching Maggie share her presents with Tessie. I knew that Sadie would be fantastic with her tiniest sister, and that her brothers would have varying degrees of success or difficulty if she mistook their presents for her own, but Tessie was mostly interested in what Maggie had. And Maggie let Tessie play with her all day long. 

She even gave Tessie some of her candy. I could hardly believe my eyes. 

The littlest member of the family was definitely spoiled with cuddles and attention and love all day long. 

And I did manage to record much of the excitement of the present opening of Christmas morning.

I think my favorite part was when Sadie and Patrick brought out the presents that they had gotten from the student store. I loved opening mine but my favorite part was seeing what they had given Paul (and each other).

And of course I had to capture the fun when we headed over to Nani and Bopa's.

There is so much room to run there, even when they're inside.

And run they do.

Tessie finally got to see her giant mermaid pillow and her reaction did not disappoint.

She took it out for a spin before she fell asleep on Christmas night. I love watching her with it.

It's so relaxing.

And this was probably the least relaxing day of my month.

Christmas parties at school kind of stress me out. Even when they end up being fun!

That is it for today. Hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas season!

Monday, December 24, 2018

A Scare and A Christmas Superstore

Before today the kids and Paul, and really anyone who'd walked across a parking lot or road with me and the kids probably thought that I was a little bit paranoid about safety.

Having Maggie with her tendency to sprint and dart and not be aware of danger sort of made me that way.

The accident a few weeks ago and that up close look at how badly a vehicle can damage a human body, even going from a stop to hitting someone a short distance away, didn't really help either.

We've talked so much about looking both ways before crossing the street in the last few weeks, and about always peeking out around the edge of the bus and being careful even if the bus stop sign is out and you think the cars should be stopped, that I've lost count how many times we've talked about it.

But we still had a very, very close call today that left all of us shaken.

Today we took a very special trip to visit a store that I've been excited to go to since we moved to Michigan. Since we moved here in 2011, that basically means I've been waiting 7 years to make the 90 mile trip to see the biggest Christmas Superstore in the world.

The store didn't disappoint. It was absolutely amazing and the kids (and grownups) had so much fun exploring it's many acres of aisles and marveling at it's delicate, sparkling baubbles.

After checking out at the end of over an hour we visited the chapel on the edge of the parking lot and looked at three beautiful outdoor nativity scenes and then made our way back to the car.

I was leading the way, pushing the stroller.

Sadie was right behind me. My mom was next to her, holding James' hand in her left hand, and Patch's in her right and my dad was a little ways behind my mom.

I am always conscious of brake lights and I've sort of trained Sadie to be the same way. My mom is exactly the same way (I come by that particular trait honestly) and she never saw them either.

Instead, without any warning a car came to life and immediately moved backwards. It was just behind me and I heard my mom and Sadie scream and I turned quickly, to hear my mom say that she'd only barely been able to yank James out of the way to keep him from being crushed.

The car slowed and looked at us and then sped away.

And it was only then that I found out that they had actually hit Sadie.

She was okay, thankfully. Her thick winter jacket had born the brunt of the blow. The worst of it, she said was that her legs wouldn't stop shaking. And by the time I was sitting in the car, mine couldn't stop shaking either.

We went out to lunch. And then we carefully navigated the way back to the car. And James and Patch were a little more willing to hold hands and a little more watchful of the still cars we walked by as we returned to our mini van.

And as this Christmas Eve gives way to Christmas Day in a few more moments I am just so, so grateful that all the members of my family are still healthy and whole and that that little accident this afternoon wasn't much worse than it actually was.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Tessie Rocking Her PECS Binder is the Best Christmas Gift

Tessie has been using a Picture Exchange Communication System book (also known as PECS) to communicate at school for a few weeks now. I went through the first training near the time when she started and then I completed the second training this last week.

On the last day of school they handed over a tiny white binder full of tiny velcro covered, laminated photos.

I'd been warned that she might be resistant to the idea of using her binder at home. 

So far the only thing she's been resistant to is the idea of fetching her binder herself, which is somewhat complicated by the fact that I have to protect the binder from a certain binder destroying mermaid at all times. 

Meanwhile, Tessie is rocking the PECS binder. She's been using it to tell me what's on her mind at all times: 

The first time she picked it up was to tell me she didn't want a bread stick right then. She wanted pizza. 

And then a sip of water. And another sip of water. 

The next morning I handed her a bowl of cereal and she handed me a strip of paper and pointed at the words "I want cup" as I read them back to her before I'd even had time to walk back into the kitchen to grab her cup. 

She was on a roll and was letting me know exactly what she needed at every turn. 

I hadn't gotten much of it on video though, until today at Nani's house. 

I know that Tessie loves oranges. She had already had three. And I realized that her binder actually had an orange card in it.

So I peeled an orange, set up the camera, and sat down to see what would happen. 

And Tessie gave the greatest demonstration of how to use her book that I possibly could have imagined. 

I thought she might have a bit of orange and then I could explain how it worked. 

Instead, any time I would start to talk about her book she would appear to be reminded that she had a book and she would race over and use it to ask for another orange slice. 

And as a mom to a kid who previously couldn't ask for anything at all it was a pretty amazing experience. 

Which is why I am elated to be able to share in this video, because the content is pretty much my all time favorite.

I am so proud of Tessie. 

And after two days of watching Tessie, Maggie who would have nothing to do with PECS when she was three is now very interested.

Yesterday she used the book to tell me she wanted a cheeseburger.

I think we might have to give this whole PECS thing another try with Maggie again too.

I have to say that I am going into this Christmas feeling pretty grateful. 

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Tiny Houses, Big Lights, and Lots of Parties

Today is the last day of school.

Yesterday there were three Christmas parties for Sadie, Patch, and James.  Two of those parties were at the same time at different schools, which required Nani and I to go to the parties and switch midway through. The plan worked out surprisingly well.

I was momentarily excited that next year those three particular kids would all be at the same school until I remembered that next year Sadie would be in middle school (I silently scream every time I read, write, or think those words), and the boys would be at the elementary school and so we'll basically have the same problem next year, only with different kids at different schools.

It's always an adventure in time management, but we always seem to find a way to make it work.

Meanwhile someone else was really ready for school today!
Nani took on the brave task of helping Sadie wrap small gifts for the small army of teachers, therapists, paras, behavioral technicians, and aids that helps make our world go round smoothly and do you know what we discovered?

There were over thirty of them.

It was only that low because two of the centers had told all the parents that all or some of their staff couldn't accept gifts because of ethics concerns. And the number was still over thirty!

And as I was texting this morning, trying to work out a paperwork roadblock, I realized that there were two more people that I completely forgot along the way, that I won't be seeing before Christmas.

Small army does seem like an entirely accurate description of the amazing people who have become a part of our lives in the last five years.

At least last night I finished decorating the inside of our house.

Or at least I think I have.

I finally got over the fear of things being broken that kept me from decorating for so many years.

Part of moving past that fear is that is that Maggie no longer goes around breaking things for no reason and while Tessie is growing into that talent, she can't reach most things and I've gotten good at decorating at very high levels.

And Maggie really seems to enjoy the decorations.

This year, for the first time ever, we took the lovely North Pole and Disney Villages that came from Paul's childhood out of the boxes and set them up on a counter in our back hallway.

They are in a safe place, that the kids don't have open access to, but it's been lovely to be able to take them back to see the beautifully lighted little houses and people.

And I had so much fun setting them up.

And last night, after all the decorations were finally in place, I made a video recording of what all the decorations looked like before the kids woke up and everything started to move and be played with and the house looked lived in again:

Do you know that by the time I finish a post (at least right now) it's an entirely different day than the day I started writing on?

I started this post yesterday morning. And then I worked on it last night. And then I fell asleep at some point with the computer on my lap. And here we are again.

But starting by saying that "today is the last day of school" really makes no sense anymore, except I'm not about to start over or this will never be posted.

We're on to the first day of vacation, and Tessie ran around wearing a voice recorder all day, for a study that one of the PhD students at her school is conducting, that we've done once before through a different university.  Still they wanted the data for her school too, so we're doing it again.

My very favorite autism activity of this entire month, and possibly my favorite Christmas activity that we've ever done, was this year's Wonderland of Lights at the zoo.

I remember going a few years ago with Maggie, before Tessie was born and being so stressed out.

This year was different though. There were more kids, because we have more kids, but there were also more grown ups.

And it was magical:

We also made the drive out to see the Michigan International Speedway Christmas lights for the very first time.

I think that this is now going to become a yearly Christmas event for us.

The kids loved driving through the light arches especially.

And maybe next year Tessie (who managed to stay awake for the almost hour drive to the lights) will stay awake for more than five minutes of the drive through the lights:

That is it for tonight, before I get too tired and fall asleep with this computer on my lap and miss posting for another day in a row.

I hope that you're Advent preparations are going well and that you're nearly ready for Christmas!

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Of Christmas Trees and Little Victories

The last week has been more than a little exhausting as various kids have been home sick with what seems to be two different bugs (one stomach bug and one respiratory bug) and while they've been resting I've been slowly decorating the inside of the house so that hopefully, it will actually be completely decorated by Christmas Eve.

Maggie had asked and asked and asked when we would be going to get our tree and I had big plans for last Saturday (thankfully before everyone began dropping like flies to this round of illnesses).

I had read in a local Facebook group that there was a tree farm not too far from our house where they took you to retrieve the trees on horse drawn carriages. I knew that would be a big hit with all five kids. There was also an event that morning at a local city park, with a tour of their historic buildings, various historic demonstrations, and hot cocoa and cookie decorating.

So we kicked off the morning with cocoa and cookies and then moved on to finding the perfect Christmas tree, being pulled around the forty acre farm by Perchrons, which was pretty fun for adults and kids alike, and then finally heading home so that Sadie and Paul could race off to a birthday party at a local skating rink.

December weekends are busy.

This is a glimpse of our time visiting the historic cabin and having cocoa and cookies.

Maggie's language has just exploded lately. Everyone at school and therapy is so excited. And of course, we're pretty thrilled too:

Then it was time for tree hunting.

This farm was so much bigger than the places that we've gone to in the past. It was $45 for any tree on the property and so many of the trees were enormous!

It took a while to find down the perfect tree (not too big for our living room) and flag down a team of Percherons to haul it back to the car, but once we did we were ready to head home and get warmed up. It was a chilly day!

Then it was time to decorate the tree.

It was kind of amazing.

If you've been here for a long time you may remember the years when we had tiny fake trees high up on our mantle, trying to keep them out of Maggie's reach because we knew if she got to them she would destroy them.

A few years ago we thought she was finally ready to try a real tree closer to the ground, so we got a tree and bolted it onto our old TV stand, which in turn was bolted to the floor.

And when that was a success, when we moved to our house here we got a full sized tree and bolted the stand to the floor.

She left it alone, but she never helped decorate it. And I really didn't expect that to change this year.

The first year with a real tree.
We didn't realize it was a bit too tall until it was way up there and then it was... way up there.
And those ceilings were really tall.

I set up my camera on a stand because I did want to capture the memories of decorating the tree.

I did not expect them to capture Maggie joining us and beginning to pick up ornaments and decorate the tree with us.

It was such a happy, special afternoon.

And when Tessie woke up she proved that she is following in her sister's footsteps, from Christmas' years ago, when she turned into a mini tree attacking tornado.

It's okay though.

I've learned a few tricks over the years. And the lower half of our tree is basically indestructible.

And that is what's going on here right now.

If everyone would just get and stay healthy that would be great. But it is definitely the season when everyone catches everything.

I'm just hoping they're all over it before Christmas!

Friday, December 7, 2018

Basketball, Presents, and Saint Nicholas' Day

Sadie is playing basketball and whenever I see one of the pictures that I snapped this weekend I ask myself how it's possible that Sadie is old enough to be playing basketball because it seems like just five minutes ago I was posting pictures of her that looked like this:

And now she's almost as tall as me, she wore my boots to school the other day, and when I took her to a basketball camp run by the high school, she was as tall as half of the girls running the camp.

I'm wondering when she will officially pass 5 feet 5 inches tall and be taller than me. 

I'm thinking it's probably going to happen in the next year.

She's going to be gleeful when that day arrives.

Meanwhile Tessie isn't quite sure what to think about this whole basketball thing.

She thinks it's a little concerning.

And I think she probably won't be coming to too many more games.

We didn't realize, when we went to our first game, that they actually charged admittance fees for fourth grade basketball.

I think originally we were picturing something much, much smaller than the league that she's actually in (more like the soccer league that the boys are in which had older kids officiating the games, which is not at all what this is like. This is BIG.).

When we arrived at the first home game and I saw that it was going to be $3 a person, for adults and kids of all ages, all the way down to the littlest, and then I spoke with another mom who has five kids, who told me that she paid over a thousand dollars in entry fees last year for basketball games (I think my eyes probably looked like saucers), and that some of the schools charge $5 a person to get in, I began to think that we probably would be taking turns going to games and that we would take turns taking one kid at a time to see her play as a special treat.

On the weekends she has games, she has two games, and those games are at different schools, so those entry fees most definitely could add up fast.

But it has been so much fun watching her learn. 

And she has been loving it and having fun. 


In December, one of the most popular things for family channels on Youtube to do is make videos about what the kids are getting for Christmas. And I thought it would be fun to join in so that I could actually remember what the kids got from year to year. Like a virtual scrap book in video form. And maybe it could help people who need ideas.

Don't worry (people always seem worried about this), my kids don't have access to the internet on their own, so they won't be stumbling across this video and finding out what they're getting.

I know someone was already surprised because Tessie's presents weren't age appropriate.

I did get Tessie, and Maggie, and well really all the kids the toys that they would play with, rather than trying the check the "toys for girl age 2" box, so these probably aren't "typical" toys for the age ranges, at least for our littler girls. 

I am very excited to see Tessie's face on Christmas morning when she sees her giant pillow. 

I might be the only mom of a two year old is saying that this Christmas... but I think that she is going to be thrilled... and maybe a tiny bit overwhelmed when she sees it. 

With therapy and dinner and tucking the kids into bed and getting to work on editing late into the night I almost forgot that it was St. Nicholas' Day on the 6th. But I remembered just in time.

And thankfully I'd tucked the chocolate gold coins away, way in advance, so the morning was saved and I was able to share out St. Nicholas Day traditions on our channel:

Now to get Tessie to OT and Speech and then back home for early on. Even our "days off" are busy!

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Adventures In Attempting To Embarrass Mom in Walmart

James has spent the last month and a half telling me that he's four years old. And before that he was proudly three.

When I accidentally slip up and say that he's three he is quick to correct me.

"That's not my number!" He says loudly. "Mama. That's not my number! I had a birthday, remember?" His voice lets everyone know that he is clearly horrified that I could possibly forget even though I haven't, he simply hasn't been four all that long and I've simply slipped into saying "three" again.

As we were walking through Walmart yesterday, picking up the last few presents that I needed to complete my Christmas shopping for the kids, he said "hi!" in a friendly voice to every single person we passed from his seat in the cart.

An older woman stopped in the Christmas light aisle and struck up a conversation with him while I was picking out lights to drape across the bushes in the front yard.

"Well hi!" she said in a voice that made me wonder if she was retired kindergarten teacher. After a few moments of banter she said "And how old are you?"

James smiled wildly and then I heard the words that completely shocked me as I picked up a box of lights and turned them over in my hand, trying to estimate how many I would need to cover all the bushes.

"I don't know!"

"You don't... know?" She sounded taken aback. Obviously this child looked like he should be old enough to know how old he is.

I glanced up.

"How old you are buddy? You're always telling me. You can tell her. You just had a birthday!" I smiled encouragingly. Wondering if our gregariously friendly child was suddenly taking after his big brother and feeling shy. Then I caught the look in his eye and realized that he wasn't.

"Nope. I don't know. I just don't know how old I am."

"You don't know how old you are?" She repeated again.

"Sure you do!" I looked at him encouragingly. He smiled back innocently.

"Nnnnmmmm. No. No idea." The child who earlier this morning had stroked my face and spontaneously told me I was a "clever genius" for helping him get dressed, who had been complemented by all the members of Sadie's IEP team for being so articulate an hour earlier, as he answered questions with words like "exactly!" and "actually..." and called me "my lady" when I buckled him into his carseat when we'd left for the store, was apparently up to something.

He loves telling people is four. He does it constantly.

"Doesn't know his age?" I heard the words murmured.

"Okay, I can help, you're this old!" I held up four fingers. The child can count. Not only does he know his age but he regularly holds up four fingers to show that he's four.

"I don't know what that number is." He said sadly, laying it on thick.

"Anyways, he's four, although apparently he's a little bit shy about saying it today!" I said sheepishly and we departed the light aisle with four boxes of shrub covering lights, leaving behind a woman who was thoroughly convinced that James had no idea of his age and probably that I was a little bit crazy, since I seemed to so completely believe that he did.

As we went to pay for the items we were buying he handed the cashier an ornament and asked if he could please have it back to hold after she scanned it. He thanked her and explained that it was an ornament of his birthday month, October.

"Do you know the day?" I asked, as I loaded bags into the cart.

"Yeah Mom, my birthday is the 13th," he shrugged. No big deal. I raised my eyebrows as we walked out to the car.

Shopping with James. It's sometimes exhausting. But it's never boring.


And in video news, we had our first snow day and it was fun! Thankfully Maggie was feeling well enough to join the other kids for the fun! 


Thursday, November 29, 2018

Tessie's Sleep Study Results and A Name Change

I mentioned a few blogs back that I was going to change the blogs Facebook name, because I was trying to make everything match.

In the past I had changed the name and it had been a simple process.

But apparently times have changed.

I went to the about section of my Facebook page and put in the request, asking that it be changed to "Someday I'll Sleep."

Within five seconds it came back and said that it was denied. "Someday I'll Sleep" Facebook informed me, appeared to be a dishonest or misleading name.

"I know, I know, no ones ever going to sleep around here. "I muttered to myself, and then I filed an appeal, explaining that it was already the name of my Youtube channel which I had been using for nearly a year and that it just seems to fit what I write about more appropriately.

The appeal came back denied. Twice.

Thus I began to learn about changing Facebook page names in this day and age and the gradual process of changing the name piece by piece so that the change wasn't too radical. The fact that "I" was in it was also a red flag.

As it stands today it's finally "Someday Sleep Autism Blogs" and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to slip that "I'll" in there.

In the meantime, I headed back to the children's hospital this weekend, for the thing I dread above all other children's hospital visits, a sleep study with Tessie. 

We got the call Friday afternoon, asking if we wanted to give up our December mid-week visit to come the next day, and I immediately said yes, we could find a way to make that work. 

"No, thank you, I don't need instructions. We've done this... I don't know how many times. A lot. Thank you. 7:30. We'll be there!" 

So we made the eighty mile drive, in the ice and cold and trudged across the bridge to the hospital, where Tessie attempted to lay siege to the enormous Christmas tree that they had placed in the middle of the play area, along with all the other toddlers who all seemed to think it was too beautiful not to touch. 

She realized early on that she was now big enough to make the rotating door spin, so she kept swinging by the front of the hospital, trying to make a break for it, while I scooped her up and brought her back to the place where we were waiting for the sleep study techs to come and get us, which was of course, next to the tree with all its temptations. 

Then it was finally time to head back to the sleep clinic and we were tucked into our own little room. I turned on Moana, and pulled out a tiny soft mermaid ornament with a sequined tail that she'd decided she loved at Target, and the process of hooking her up to all the wires began. 

She screamed when they put the oximeter on her toe, like she hasn't worn an oximeter since she was six months old, for the past two years of her life, and it was a bumpy road from there, with moments of calm, and hysteria mixed in. 

The good thing was that she seemed to understand a lot of what I was saying. When I told her how good she was doing she calmed down a little. And the mermaid's sequined tail calmed her down even more. When I explained that she needed to keep the nasal cannula in she actually listened this time, after a few moments of tears, which was entirely unexpected. 

In the middle of the night she woke up, upset about the nasal cannula again, and this time stuffy after crying about it. 

"You can breath through your mouth Tessie." She shook her head no at me. 

"Yes you can. If you take that thumb out you can." She shook her head no, twice more.

I was elated at the response to my words, that she had apparently understood and in a few more moments she drifted back to sleep. That was amazing receptive language for her to understand.

All day Sunday and Monday I waited for a call.

If the study had been really bad I knew it would come fast. Maybe not on Sunday, I thought, but surely on Monday.

When I hadn't heard anything by five on Monday, I figured that I would hear something when a respiratory therapist got around to calling me in a week or so. 

And that was why, the next day, as I was about to pull into the parking garage at our doctor's office with Maggie, I was surprised when I picked up my phone and I heard Tessie's pulmonologist on the other end of the line.

I thanked her for calling personally and we chatted for a moment about the weather. Monday had been very busy in the office with lots of very sick kids, after the holiday and with the weather, she said. Only desperate people would go out, in that weather. She had meant to call but hadn't been able to. 

Uh oh. 

This sleep study had been different from the last one. In good news Tessie does not have congenital central hypoventilation syndrome, the condition that the gene mutation that she had might cause. 

In other news, this sleep study painted a different picture than the last sleep study and did put her over the index back into qualifying for a monitor again (although she has somehow miraculously never lost hers). Her desats, which were below 89 for more than a minute, also now qualify her to be back on oxygen.

The first part didn't surprise me. It was what we'd been hoping and praying for. The second part did. 

I thanked her several times for calling and took Maggie in to her appointment trying to brainstorm creative ways to convince Tessie that wearing a nasal cannula every night from that point forward wasn't some horrible torture. 


The medical supply company brought an oxygen tank this time instead of a concentrator. 

"She's on such a small amount tanks will work," the man explained. "And we'll just switch them out."

Yesterday after her first night back on oxygen she was extremely vocal at therapy, which is what we saw the last time she was on oxygen. When she woke up in the morning she started singing along with the PJ Masks song and said "day" in a perfect clear little voice. 

It was a brand new word.

And they're going to try to work with her at school on wearing her nasal cannula to see if they can convince her that it's a positive experience.

If anyone can do it, they can.


And that is the latest in the goings on with baby Tess.

It is always an adventure with her. 

I did make two videos. 

The first is a lot of footage of her having a blast in the children's area of the hospital while I explain what our time there was like:

And the second is a more detailed description of the results: 

Wednesday, November 28, 2018


I mostly feel comfortable sharing this hear because I know my blog is tiny, that very few people who are local read it, and that it's extremely unlikely that anyone involved in todays accident will stumble upon it (especially because there are no names or locations given). Writing has always helped me make sense of things, and I really needed to write about today. 

Here goes...


I have been stalking on of the local news channels Facebook pages all day, waiting for an update on a story. A man was hit by a car this morning, the story said. Will update later when we know more.

I refreshed the page a hundred times. Every five minutes I would check back in to see if some update had been added. 

I was able to see quickly that it hadn't been, by the time stamp at the top of the page, but I would still scroll down to make sure.

And then I would continue the prayer I had been chanting in my head since just before noon, which couldn't seem to get much past "please God, please God, please God."

Refresh. Check on Maggie who's home sick for an eleventh day. Clean something. Rinse. Repeat. 


Paul was sick this morning, which is why he could stay home with Maggie, which is why I was able to leave the house this morning to go donate plasma after I dropped Tessie at school. 

I finished donating and nearly drove home, but at the last minute I took an exit and headed towards Dunkin Donuts to see if I could coax Maggie into eating one of her favorite foods. The child can go days without eating if nothing looks appealing, and being sick for almost two weeks hasn't helped that particular trait, and I knew donuts are something she nearly always loves.

After getting the donuts I stopped at the edge of the parking lot for a moment. If I  turned east I could use the money on my Starbucks app to get a treat for myself too... no. I needed to get home. I turned the car west towards the highway onramp. 

But I could stop and get an ice tea? No again. I told myself. Home. Now.

I went through two green lights before hitting a red at the corner where I needed to turn and head south. A truck pulled up in the turn lane beside me. A man waited to cross the street on my left, carrying groceries. 

I really didn't consciously notice him until he stepped out in front of my car. The light flashed for him to walk. He hadn't glanced at me either. His eyes were fixed straight ahead as he stepped off the sidewalk and headed towards the other side. 


Someone is going to get hit here.

I thought the words to myself as he moved past the front of my car. 

I'd walked that same intersection many times pushing a stroller and in my head I'd rated it as one of the most dangerous in our little city. People would see you coming, but they'd continue to turn left, while you had the light telling you to walk. 

And it was always so busy, there was never a break in traffic. 

So the man stepped out, to make the cars stop, which we all should have done anyways. He had the right of way. 

I stopped. The man moved past me. I put my foot on the gas and the car started to move.  

When I saw the truck on my right coming up fast in my rear view mirror I turned my head. 

I saw them connect and I saw the man move through the air unnaturally. I saw groceries flying. And I saw the truck jolt to a stop. 

All I could think, was that I was thankful that I didn't have any children with me today, as I swerved off the side of the road and threw the car into park, dialing 911 and giving the cross streets, and asking them to come quickly, and then saying that I was going to try to help before hanging up the phone. 

I parked in the middle of a car dealership lot, and when I ran around the new shiny cars, to the place where a small crowd of men were standing around the half conscious man on the ground. Everyone had a phone in their hand. 

No one was touching him.

When I moved forward, someone said sharply that I needed to stay back and not move him. But all I could think was that if this was my father, or son, or husband I would not want him to suffer and maybe die here on the street with people standing over him with phones in hand, not offering comfort.

Someone should at least hold his hand, I thought vaguely as I moved between the men and found myself by his head, kneeling. 

Besides, eight years of lifeguarding had to have taught me something. All those first aid classes and drills putting people on backboards in eight feet of water was still somewhere back there, ricocheting around in my mind. 

I reached out, not quite sure what I meant to do, and found myself automatically stabilizing his head and neck as someone else brought a blanket and spread it across his body. I said anything reassuring I could think of even though, with the blood and foam coming from his mouth, the words felt like lies. Isn't that a sign of a punctured lung? I thought, but out loud I said, "You're going to be okay. They're almost here. Stay with me. Stay with me. Can you those sirens. They're going to take you to the hospital any second now. Don't try to get up. Just relax. Lay back. They're almost here."

We were so close to the hospital. A really good hospital. They just had to get him there.

He was regaining consciousness and starting to fight to sit up when the police arrived and said to keep holding his head, while they stopped the traffic that had been moving around us, and tried to keep him still. 

And then the ambulance was there, which was the sweetest sight I saw today, and two men jumped out of it, and one of them took over stabilizing his head and neck, and in moments he was on a backboard, and I was scooping up his groceries, and belongings and putting them inside the ambulance and then waiting in the snow, watching the cars fly by, to give a statement.

I realized as I started to drive that I had felt calm in the moment, but once I  started to drive away, I felt sick to my stomach. By the time I got home I was shaking and pale, replaying the moment of the crash over and over again, in my mind, hoping the man was okay. 


A little after seven, after nearly seven hours of checking the news site, the update finally came. 

I'd been outside hanging Christmas lights in the freezing cold and snow to pass the time when they finally posted it.

The pedestrian, whose name I still don't know, is expected to survive. 

It is the best news. I can let out the breath that I've been holding.

I can finally put down my phone and stop clicking refresh every few minutes.


And that is why I sat down to write.  Because writing has always been a sort of therapy for me. Once I write something down I can begin to let go of it. My mind can stop replaying it in circles.

Although I'm sure that update will play a big role in helping with that too.


So that is... the story of my day. Or a piece of my day. 

Meanwhile, we have more or less been in survival mode here, as various sicknesses have gone through the house, which is the main reason I haven't managed to write much lately.

When Maggie is home sick I get very little done. 

Usually writing comes when everyone is asleep and with these rounds of illness I don't stay up much later than the kids.  Until today, that is. 

I do have a couple videos, completely unrelated to todays topic.

I'll write about little Miss Tess and all that she's doing in the very near future. 

But for now I'll leave you with these two videos:

And now it is finally time to go to sleep.

I think I've finally written myself into exhaustion.

And that is a good thing.

Saturday, November 17, 2018

When Will the Decorations Go Up?

Tessie and Maggie are both officially sick, and Patrick has been home from school for the past three school days, mostly because he seemed to be on the verge of being sick, although he managed to recover Friday, just in time for one of his friend's birthday party on Saturday, which was fortunate, since he'd been obsessing over it all week.

And he had a blast.



I've been thinking about Christmas decorations this week and when I'm going to drag them out of the garage to put them up.

I used to be a stickler for the Christmas Eve tradition. I've blogged about it before.

And it was a point of pride (one among many I guess).

Christmas Eve was when the tree and decorations traditionally went up and not a moment earlier, and that was when I was going to do it.

How could I possibly keep Advent and Christmas separate if my decorations were already out and up?

I'm audibly sighing as I type those words now.

Maybe it's because now, a decade after I first made that rule for myself, I find that preparing for Christmas during Advent has very little to do with the state of the physical decorations in my house.

Although I have found myself reflecting lately, on the pushing back of Christmas decorations earlier and earlier this year, to just after Halloween by a number of people that I know.  While I'm not joining in the decorating extravaganza (I'm making myself wait until the first week of December over here) I have to say that I think I understand it.

Or at least this is one of the motivations that I imagine for the earlier than ever decorations when I see them.

In a thousand different ways 2018 has been a brutal year.

I think that a lot of people crave that Christmas cheer right now and want a reason to celebrate, and to extend that celebration for as long as possible.

They're decorating and getting ready for Christmas.

Christmas 2012
I think that's a pretty wonderful thing to be excited about.

I won't criticize anyone for that. Even if it's November 1st.


It was easier to hold off on decorations when I knew that they were likely to be smashed to pieces by a certain mermaid. Now that she's holding off on her destruction (that Dollar Tree Mantle Makeover for October lasted until we took it down last week) there's a chance that our Christmas decorations may actually survive through Epiphany, even if I do opt to put them up now. 

And in a way the excited cleaning and decorating is very much a part of the preparations, even if it isn't done at the very last minute. Which makes a little more sense with our lives now since that last minute decorating would be more than a little stressful, and in the end probably would just leave much of it half finished on Christmas Eve, since there would only be so much that two people could do in one night. 

Christmas 2017

In totally unrelated news I made this video in answer to a question I was asked, elaborating on a phrase that I've used quite a bit when discussing eloping:

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Tessie's Favorite Thing

This is quite possibly the best blog/vlog thing that I've ever made.

I just love it so much.

And it's 100% Tessie's doing.

Tessie's favorite thing to do to wind down at the end of the day is to sit down and play with her sequin pillow.

She might adjust the sequins for an hour. Or she might only do it for five minutes.

But more often, it's for long stretches, in which only one little finger is moving back and forth as she pushes sequins from one position to another.

She is so intent on what she's doing when she's moving around her sequins that I just love watching her work.

And I thought you might like to see it too.

She's also been doing a lot of waving and pointing, which is amazing.

And did I mention that when she goes to horse therapy she likes to look like she's a tiny doll on top of a big horse?

Because that's what she looks like:

She is the only kid who I've finished Christmas shopping for and it's because 2 out of her 3 presents are made with that same sequined fabric that she loves so much.

It just makes her so easy to shop for.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Birthdays, Snow, Scripts, and Name Changes

Patrick's birthday came and went and was a success!

He had school, because it wasn't on a weekend, so he got to see his friends.

When asked what cupcakes he wanted to bring he said PJ Masks, of course but then asked that there be Princess Cupcakes for the girls. The store didn't have princess cupcakes so he took a dozen pink Poppy Troll cupcakes with him instead, and they were a big hit.

And then he had a PJ Masks birthday party with our family at Chuck E Cheese after playing at the local science museum waiting for Mae to get done with therapy, that afternoon.

Both were lots of fun.

A certain someone did briefly try to make a break from the birthday party after the cake, I think because she was a little overwhelmed, and I was surprised that she was tiny enough to fit between the bottom of the booth divider and the floor (when she went down there I thought, "at least there's no where she can go"), which meant she nearly made it to the door, which was right on the other side of the wall of booths, and would have if I hadn't managed to catch hold of her boot. 

Oh well, it just added a little bit of extra excitement after the cake, and she went on to have a lot of fun playing games with the other kids after her attempted elopement.  Moving on...

Winter has arrived in Michigan and bundling up five kids to go out and play in the snow gives me a renewed admiration for any of the kids teachers. Especially the little kids teachers. I have no idea how going out to recess must work in a kindergarten or preschool classroom, where all that snow gear must take an hour to get on, based on how much help the 3-6 crowd around here usually needs with this sort of thing.

Even Patrick, who is getting pretty good at handling some of his snow gear, still needs helps with the trickier parts that he can't quite get on his own.

So it takes us about thirty minutes of prep time to get everyone ready to go outside.

And I don't open up the door to release the first kids into the cold, until everyone is ready, so that the first kids aren't complaining that they're cold and ready to come back in, just as the last ones are ready to go out and ready to play.

I've learned my lesson from years past.

However, this lesson doesn't make getting ready particularly fun, since the four year old was the first one dressed and must have asked "when are we finally going to go out" at least seventy five times, before I'd gotten Patch, and then Maggie, and then Tessie, completely bundled, from head to toe.

Thankfully Sadie can get ready entirely on her own.

I'd forgotten that one of Maggie's scripts, which I hadn't heard in an entire year, was "swim in the snow." She hadn't though.

Within ten minutes of coming outside, after reminding me that it had been too long since she'd had a shake at McDonald's and after we'd gone through that script enough times to convince her that I'd understood sufficiently, she announced that she was ready to swim in the snow and then went through her script about the Bubble Guppies swimming in the snow.

It was pretty great.

I love her memory and how she can call up a script that she hasn't used in a year in an instant, in the correct situation.

And I love that I got that script on camera. I've watched it back so many times. It's one of my favorites.

And lastly here is the video with the update on the sleep study and the surgery.

It basically tells the entire story of the sleep study and the ENT appointment and everything that led up to them, which was more or less in that last blog post, with less dramatic pictures because Youtube thumbnails kind of need that:

And I know I said that was the last thing but there's one very, very last thing.

A bit of blog house keeping if you will.

For the past several months I've been thinking really very hard about changing the name of my blog so that all my pages have to same name, so that I'm not operating under a bunch of different names, which can be kind of confusing.

I've always struggled with naming, well really anything that isn't a child.

Naming kids has always been easy for me.

Naming blogs and other blog like ventures? Not so much.

The last time I changed my blog name lots of people let me know they hated it.

And some people let me know they liked it.

Which was okay. You've got have a thick skin in blogging or vlogging or doing anything online and blogging has definitely been slowly helping me work on that for the last decade.

The thing was, I really wanted to like my blog name. And I liked the newer name more than the older one.

But when I finally came up with my vlog name I actually and really loved it.

It just clicked and felt right as a description for the last decade of my life since becoming a parent.

So I am going to be changing the blog name on Facebook to a name that matches the vlog (at least in part... it won't have "vlog" in it). And maybe I'll eventually add it to the banner here, since my blog here has been living without any sort of a name posted anywhere for quite a while.

And that's what I'm up to at the moment.

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Six Years Old Today

Today Patrick is six years old. 

Later I'll have time to write more but I have to run to get ready to get him off the bus.

But I just started scrolling back through photos on the blog.

And I put together a post of pictures.

All but the very last one are pictures from the blog over the years. 

I can't believe how fast this has gone by and how much he's grown.

My big six year old!