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We've spent the last few days recovering from our cross country trek.  We made the drive from California to Michigan in two parts.  The first was based on the idea that if the kids were asleep we might as well keep driving and get as much of the road behind us as we could. 

We drove from Northern California (an hour and a half west of the Central Valley, which meant over 250 miles of driving just to get out of California) through Nevada, Utah and Wyoming before we hit Nebraska and knew that we needed to make at least on stop on the way there. 

So after thirty hours of driving we pulled into a hotel and spent on night in Kearney, Nebraska, before getting up and out of our room by 7:30 the next morning and getting back on the road.  That night, fourteen hours after setting off, we were finally home. 



Since we've been back I've slowly been putting all our ducks back into their neat little rows.  Mae's first therapy session is tomorrow.  I've been making repeated calls to our doctor's office and various other therapy centers trying to get referrals signed and to the right places to start her other therapies back up. 

Things I haven't said include: "Yes I am calling you for the third time in five weeks and I'm very sorry that that clearly annoys you but you still haven't shuffled that referral the five feet it needs to go to get in the rehabilitation centers inbox, despite promising that you were going to do it approximately thirty five days ago, and so yes, I am calling you again and I will continue to call until it gets done.  Or maybe not.  Because now I'm in Michigan and I can just drop in.  Would that be more likely to help you remember to get it over there?" because I'm about thisclose to not being able to be super, super sweet when I call to request something that should have been done a month ago and while I've reminded myself many, many times that you catch more flies with honey than by completely losing your mind the tenth time you make the same phone call, I am rapidly running out of honey when things just aren't getting done (especially when people are actually lying to me about why it hasn't gone through yet, since I'm hearing directly contradicting things about what each office is saying to and hearing from the other). 

Deep breath. 

It will get done though.  Eventually. 

And in the mean time we're enjoying the last few days of an unscheduled summer:

 

The Great Cross Country Road Trip

It's only 8:33 pm on Sunday night as I begin to type, but my body is still trying to convince me that it's 11:33 pm back in Michigan and so we'll have to see how this goes  (and how it went was that I fell asleep before I finished writing and finished this post this morning). 

First things first: we made it to California safe and sound! 

Secondly, since sharing a hotel room with our four kids, one of whom does not do time changes well, meant stealing as much sleep as I could from our nights, I didn't manage a single post from the road. 

So this post is a mash up of everything that happened since we set off from Michigan last Wednesday and began driving across the country. 

We drive because I would rather spend approximately forty hours in a car with my kids than spend six hours on a plane with them.

Okay not all of them. Mostly Patch.  I would take Maggie on a plane in a heartbeat.  She's so overwhelmed by the wonderfulness of flying that she seldom makes a sound.  But I'm not quite over the traumatic experience that was our last flight across the country and I love driving cross country, so a road trip it was.  With Nani and Grumpa (who Patch is now calling Bo-Pa) because Paul is staying back in Michigan being super busy.

He'll come out and drive back with us in August and we'll have another fun cross country road trip, again.

Maggie had done so well in Sadie's booster seat, so I let her try out her seat as a booster (while making sure we kept the five point harness in the car).  She did awesome at first.

She lasted as far as Indiana.  And then she decided it was hilarious (in her mind) to try to sneak out of the chest strap and we pulled over and I reassembled the car seat on the side of the road in something like fifty thousand percent humidity. 

Then we were back on the road.

 

 

We stopped for lunch in Indiana...

Before heading on to Illinois. 

And I have to say.  I love the narrow states when I'm driving east to west or west to east.  It feels like you've accomplished so much in a cross country drive when you can quickly make your way across two states.

I would have really liked to have make it all the way across Iowa the first day, but we weren't quite back in the swing of spending all day in the car and by 5 pm (after leaving at 8:30) the kids were tired out and so we stopped outside of Iowa City.

 

It was on this particular night that Patch, who has formerly loved Mickey Mouse (and who has been wearing a lot of Mickey Mouse t-shirts lately, which I'd happened to pack) saw him on television and decided he was terrifying, to the point where he was trembling after the TV was off and I had to promise him repeatedly that the TV wouldn't be coming back on.

 

 



Maggie had lots of firsts on the trip, trying on dresses that weren't pink, that she'd had for at least a year and refused to wear, that she suddenly realized she really liked.  She also started talking a lot.  And sang the Bubble Guppies theme song to herself, for much of the drive:

That first night in Iowa was wild.  No one did all that well going to sleep in a new place.  Patch was up from one to three and then Maggie woke up at four. 

We were on the road by seven, but no one had gotten all that much sleep.

Still, before lunch time we were headed into Nebraska.

And after driving straight through, with a quick stop for lunch, we made it to Wyoming as the sun was sinking down out of the sky:

We stopped in Cheyenne for our second night on the road. 

The kids were exhausted from their sleepless night in Iowa and crashed as soon as we made it up to our room.  And this time they all slept until four am.  Which meant we were on the road by six.

Driving across Wyoming with Patch was kind of hilarious.  He was like the narrator of the trip in the back of the car and we heard this during most of the time he was awake:

"Look!  Look!  A rock!  Look a rock.  I see rock.  I see rock.  Look.  I see cow.  I see rock.  Look!  Look!"

And he was so excited every single time that he said it that it never got old. 

 

 

We stopped for lunch in Salt Lake City.

 

But by bedtime that night we were tucking the kids in, in Elko, Nevada. 

The fact that the kids slept in until 4:15 Pacific Time felt like a small victory and we were on the road again by six.  Here's Maggie waiting by the door.  She was so impatient to get back into the car each morning:

We drove straight on through Nevada.

And finally we crossed the border into California.

And before dinner time we were at Nani and Grumpa's house up in the mountains, which will be our home for summer while Paul is busy getting things done and working back in Michigan. 

The kids almost slept in until 5 this morning, which is huge, because the last time we were here for two weeks she never slept past 3.  Mae's internal clock is not easily reset. 

We've already had a few adventures with the wildlife (involving a skunk and a buck), and we're enjoying the dry heat (I still haven't quite gotten used to the humidity back home) and lots of water fights on the porch! 

Now to go get dressed.  Sadie's already made me promise we'll have a water fight this morning! 

5 Lessons I've Learned While On Road Trips with Our Kids

I love road trips.  I've loved them since I was in seventh grade scribbling in a notebook covered with stickers, dreaming of the road trips that I imagined I would take with my best friends when we graduated from high school.

During college my best friend and I spent a lot of time on weekends and during the summer driving up and down the Pacific Coast Highway with surf boards strapped to the top of my little yellow Volkswagon Beetle camping and surfing and planning out longer, out of the country trips that we never got around to taking.

The longest road trips I've been on, however, have come after marrying Paul and having kids.  When Maggie was not-quite-two and Sadie was not-quite-four we drove from South West Florida to Northern California.

When the girls were two and four we drove from Northern California to Michigan, spent one night in Michigan (and found a house to live in) and then drove from Michigan to South West Florida (where we rented a U-haul and packed up our house in record time) and then headed north again straight back to Michigan for the start of a new school year.

I also drove from Michigan to Montana with the girls (while in the third trimester with Patch) by myself for one of my best friend's wedding, and when Patch was a little over a month old we drove from Michigan to Massachusetts.

And we had fun!  We've spent eight, twelve and even fourteen hour days on the road without a single tear involved.  Paul and I have both been a little sad that the last two years were so crammed full of studying that we've hardly had time (or an excuse) to head out on the open road.

That's my long winded way of saying that we have a bit of experience in the road-tripping-with-kids department.

Here are the lessons we've learned and the tricks we've used along the way:

1.  Don't Plan To Far Ahead 

On our first long road trip I had everything mapped out.  I was sure that we wouldn't be able to drive more that three hundred miles a day with the girls being not-yet-two and almost-four.

Sure they did great in the car around town, but could I really expect them to spent longer stretches in our mini van as we drove across the southern part of the United States.

So I made motel reservation and plotted and planned just about every stop.  And while it worked out I later realized that it might not have been the best way of going about things.

I mean, we had a lot of fun, but on subsequent trips I've learned that there's a lot to be said for looking at the map, noting where things are (and maybe even checking out attractions that we'll be driving past)and what time we'll hopefully get there and then seeing how things go.

That way we could stop at sites that looked interesting in person, or take a break when the kids (or adults) were tired.  It also meant we could push on further than we'd thought would possible and spend more time on another day exploring a new area.

2.  Use Diversions Sparingly

Before one of our long trips my parents gave our family a little travel DVD player.

I quickly realized that to make the DVD player as effective as possible it was best to keep it loaded, charged and hidden and out of sight until we actually needed it.

If the kids were happy looking out the window while Sadie chattered away or while we listened to the radio than the DVD player would stay hidden.  Often times that meant that it stayed off all day.

On the other hand when someone was cranky or tired or bored the appearance of the DVD player instantly broke through the monotony of what was becoming a long afternoon and the kids would immediately quiet down.

I've used this same car trip strategy with snack and other small treats I've tucked away and it works well. Instead of handing over everything at once and having the kids bored with their little snacks or surprises after fifteen minutes we've had good luck with spacing that sort of thing out so that we get more mileage out of them.

3.  Books on Tape

Or CD.  Or MP3.  Or whatever car actually have these days.

Ours has a tape deck and a CD player that skips non-stop if the car is actually in motion and almost non-stop if the car is parked, so tapes it is.

After the first road trip I got the idea of using a tape recorder to record myself reading the girls' favorite books, along with some classics.

These tapes became an instant hit.  They still listen to them.

If I run into a store and Paul is in the car with the four kids (which include a certain two year old who likes to scream "Help me!  Help me!  No!!!!  Go!  Go!" if the car comes to a complete stop for more than a split second... and sometimes just if we decelerate...) he still pops the tape in and they listen to me read We're Going on a Bear Hunt and Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories and while Paul almost dies of boredom from listening to the same tape for the three hundred and twenty seventh time, the kids love it.

They especially love it when they hear me say "just wait Maggie, we'll read that next" and you hear not-yet-two year old Maggie squeal in response in the background of the tape.

4. Organize, Organize, Organize

One of the best investments I made after our first road trip was in cheap little vacuum seal travel bags (that didn't need an actual vacuum).

Instead of throwing all of our stuff in suitcases I very carefully packed a days worth of outfits in each vacuum bag.  That meant one outfit for each person went in each bag and then I rolled the bags so all the air was out of them.

I then stacked those bags in an easily accessible bag, near the bag with toiletries and pajamas and whatever else we might need and when it was time to unload for the night  we just pulled out one days worth of clothes and brought it inside.

It made it much easier for Paul who was lugging our bags up and down staircases and in and out of motels day after day.

5. Roll with the Punches

When we broke down in North Platte, Nebraska it felt like the end of the world.  We had two days until we needed to be in Michigan to find a house, were low on funds and the first car place we were towed to told us that they couldn't even begin to work on the car for several days.

Then a small shop saved the day for a fraction of the cost we'd been imagining and we ended up with great stories about kind, helpful people and several stories about the subsequent walk to a playground while we waited for the car to be fixed, where I had to squeeze my gigantically pregnant self up to the top of a very tall slide to rescue a certain four year old who'd gotten scared at the top (a tale that's still told to this day).

What had seemed like a disaster at the time ended up being one of the most memorable days in one of our most memorable road trips we've taken so far.


I have a road trip coming up in the not so distant future and hopefully the lessons of road trips past will serve us well as we embark on another trip and see what the open road has in store for our little group!

Southwest Airlines and a Customer Service Fail

Hey Southwest!  The kid who apparently
imagined her allergic reaction on your plane
is a four year old girl who looks like this.

Oh Southwest!

I was really giving you a pass on the whole cat allergic reaction incident which occurred this past Sunday.  I really was.  When I typed up my polite letter inquiring if there was any way to avoid being on a plane with an animal in the future I was honestly hoping that that was a possibility.  I'd read online that you sometimes had pet free flights, and I was hopeful... but the internet is the internet, so I thought I would send an email to you, explain what happened, and see if it was true.

I didn't mention the not-so-great parts about flying with you, because it seemed beside the point.  After all, it wasn't your fault that the first two flight attendants on the first two legs of our trip were the type of people who, upon seeing young children headed towards their section of the aircraft, look as if they've sucked on a lemon.  I mean I have a two year old, and I know I can't get her to put on a brave face when confronted with something that utterly disgusts her... and the same seemed to be true of the two ladies who's lot it was to help us through the rather long hours of that particular Tuesday, three weeks ago.  Besides, I was completely out of line when I asked for that lid for the two year old's apple juice.  "Could we please get a lid for the apple juice?" apparently merits a disapproving glare and a terse, annoyed tone for the remainder of the trip, in some parts of the US (like when flying from Phoenix to Sacramento).

But I understand.  Despite my kids stellar performance on the flight out, even I wasn't looking forward to spending that many hours trapped in an enclosed space with them, unable to get up and walk around.  Road trips are one thing.  Being surrounded by 150 strangers who are oh-so-thrilled that there's a kid boarding their flight, and go out of their way to give the parents special wow-it's-great-you're-here glances?

That's something else entirely.

Still, I must admit I was surprised at your response.

Now I'm guessing that what you sent me is a boiler plate letter that your lawyers came up with.  Am I right?  And I'm guessing that the lawyer that came up with it probably doesn't have kids.  Or a spouse.  And maybe isn't friends with people with actual emotions?  I'm just guessing here.

Because telling a mom that it's unlikely that her child had an allergic reaction because the air filters on the plane filter out 99.7% of pollutants kind of makes it sound like you're doubting her story.  It makes it seem like your implying that she imagined watching her child struggle to breath for two plus hours when you go on and on, for paragraphs about how unlikely it is that the child reacted to an animal being on the same flight.  Especially when you throw in the part about how it's more likely that the kid was reacting from hair on the person sitting next to her (by the way, that was me, and no, my clothing weren't shedding pet dander, thank you very much).

Pointing out that no one has had a "catastrophic" event from pet dander doesn't help either.  Because guess what?  I wasn't afraid my child was going to die from her pet dander allergies.  But I bet she remembers struggling to breath for hours for a very, very long time.  I bet she remembers being frightened and sick.  She's still talking about it today, on and off, all day long.  She's referring to it, all on her own, as the "incident."

I have to admit, I was shocked by the insensitivity of your letter.  I don't know what I was expecting.  A simple answer to whether or not it was possible to avoid flights with animals.  And I guess you answered that in the midst of your explanation.  No... It's not possible and yes, we'd like to cover our butts with this lovely letter our lawyers prepared.

I have another theory as well though.  You see, you can't make money charging people with allergies extra.  That would make you look like even bigger jerks than you looked like by sending me today's email.  But you can make a pretty penny ferrying pets across the country.  And so the pet free flights become a thing of the past.  And I can drug my kid until she can't stand up if we need to fly (let's face it, those "allergy medications" you suggested in your letter, and which I ended up having to use, are pretty horrible in their own right).

But I have one last question for you.  If your air filters are so awesome at sucking pollutants out of the air, why is smoking outlawed on flights? (Paul says I need to point out that this is sarcasm...) Could it be that air filtration isn't all that fool proof.

While writing this, I couldn't help but thinking of the cats I've had over the years, and their reactions to being put in a crate and taken anywhere.  It was never pretty.  It usually involved shedding major amounts of fur in the thirty minute drive from our house to the vets office.  And while you may doubt the possibility of that cat dander staying in the air, I experienced the result first hand while watching my daughter wheeze her way from Las Vegas to Detroit.  Thanks for that.  And thanks for the condescending tone of your response to my questions.  I guess we were just that lucky .3%.  Or maybe the actual implementation of the air filtration isn't as perfect as you would suggest.

Anyways, awesome job on customer service Southwest.  It totally made my day.

I would totally almost recommend you to my readers... okay that's not true at all.  I would have recommended you, with your cute little heart logo, until I received your response.  Now I wouldn't recommend you to my most grumpy commenter.  And that's saying something.

A Long Flight: Three Kids and a Cat

We are home in Michigan and my brain is slowly decompressing after traveling cross country on a plane with our wild little bunch.

The flight from Sacramento to Las Vegas went smoothly. However the three and a half hour flight from Las Vegas to Detroit had me wishing for a parachute and a way to exit the aircraft.

It was that bad.

Words like "Stop elbowing your brother in the head" and "No! He's finally asleep!  Don't touch his feet!" were bandied about, along with "stop pinching me... why are you clawing my arm?" to a certain smiling two year old who left tiny nail marks up the inside of my arm.  The phrase"please, just go to sleep" was frequently heard being directed towards the baby who wanted to be held in a standing position so that he could survey the plane and who began to fuss every five minutes because he was really, really tired, but just didn't want to sleep.

Those three and a half hours felt like the longest of my life.  And that was before the allergic reaction started.

Let me begin by saying:  What is going on?!?!?!  Why are my children all suddenly developing allergies?

And

This is insane!!!!

While we were on the trip we discovered that Sadie has developed an allergy to cats.  She lived with cats for the first two years of her life not problem, but now?  Allergic.  No big deal though, right?  I mean, it bothered her when she touched the cats and she was on benadryl twenty four hours a day at Nani and Grumpa's, but as long as she took her "purple kitty vitamin" (her words) she was okay.  We also found out that she's very allergic to the detergent they use at two hotels that we stayed at while on the trip... but that's another story.

We got on the plane in Las Vegas and I saw a cute tiny short haired kitten and it didn't even enter into my mind that there might be a problem.  I mean, it was a big old Southwest plane and it wasn't like the cat was going to be sitting near us (in the end, when the problems began and I looked around it was four rows back and on the opposite side of the plane, although with the re-circulating air I don't think moving would have helped).

Midway through the flight Sadie began sniffling and sneezing.  Perfume?  I thought at first.  Maybe it's perfume.  I couldn't smell anything.  Paul and Mae and I all have hayfever-ish allergies and we were all fine.  We sat and the attack got worse.  Every breath was a huge sniffling effort.

I pulled out the epi-pen/ inhaler/ benadryl bag and gave her a diphenhyramine melt.  She took it and struggled through another forty five minutes.  I looked at the back of the box.  6 year old are permitted two.  I glanced at my 48 lb almost-five-year old, who was okay-ed for benadryl by doctors after the ER car seat allergy visit of the summer of 2012 and gave her another melt.  She's bigger than many six year olds and she was really struggling.  And I didn't think the inhaler would help with all the mucus in her chest.  Ten minutes later she could breath and was passed out against my arm clutching her baby doll.

We survived.  But oh my goodness.  My brain isn't quite up for any other posts just yet.  It still feels like mush.

I've emailed Southwest to ask them if, in the future, there's any way we can ensure a cat free flight when booking.  Although right now the idea of flying again isn't something I'm planning on doing anytime soon.

Thank goodness we're back on the solid ground!

The Flight: An Airplane Ride with Our Terrible Trio

I'm not sure why I had visions of disaster whenever I thought of riding on a plane with my three little bundles of energy.  Maybe it was all those early morning national news shows where I've seen frazzled looking parents tell horror stories about planes returning to the gate to kick them to the curb because their child was crying and somehow I could picture that one of my three could be having the worst-day-ever and we'd be booted.

Not once did I think, "Hey, these kids drove through at least 25 states this past year.  They were with us from Florida to California, California to Michigan, Michigan to Florida (and back), Michigan to Montana (and back) and Michigan to Massachusetts (and back) in the past year... maybe they won't think six hours on a plane is all that bad..."

I mean we've spent fourteen hours a day in the car together without a tear.  Don't ask me how.  I have no idea.  They just seem to like driving.  Paul and I like driving, and it seems to have rubbed off on our offspring, who tend to giggle at things they see out the window and make comments like "Mommy, please don't make me ride a buffalo from North Dakota to Montana..." as we drive past bison in fields by the freeway.

I wasn't sure how things would go, however, as we navigated and airport and loaded into the crush of people on the plane.  I knew Sadie would be fine.  But Patrick and Mae?  Loose cannons.

It didn't help when we got to the gate and I had the distinct impression that the crowd had turned against us, merely because we'd showed up with little people in tow.  They were quiet at that point and people were already glaring.  We got nervous glances as we walked past gates.  You could practically hear people mentally chanting "Not our plane!  Don't sit down here!"  A few people were sympathetic as a stressed out Patrick started to fuss and then passed our before we loaded on the plane, but most seemed ready to suggest we find another mode of travel as unfriendly eyes followed Mae and Patrick's every move and keen ears waited for a sound to confirm their worst fears.  At least that's what I imagined when I looked up and saw multiple people glaring in our direction.

We loaded on the plane and strapped Mae into her seat.  And this happened:

She snuggled down with her doll.  She repeatedly checked to make sure that her doll was covered with the blanket.  When Nani offered her a hand, just in case she got scared on takeoff, Mae pulled her little hand back and then offered it to her doll, because let's face it, her doll is the real baby.

They even pulled out a Dora book and very seriously read together:

Once we were in the air Patrick even came over for a little visit with his sister... although she promptly fell asleep as he sat on her lap:

They even held hands for a bit.  Mae is very into holding hands with Patrick these days.  And giving him nose snuggles.  And kissing him.  She'd also really like to hold his little face between her hands and stare at it, which may be why he's a little afraid of her at times:

But not all the time:

All in all, after over six hours in the air, there was about five minutes of Patrick crying.  He tugged at his ears as I tried to convince him to nurse, obviously not thrilled about how the change in altitude was making his ears feel.

 And we had a time of keeping Mae from kicking the chair in front of her.  But once we landed Sadie was enthusiastic about helping move our belongings through the airport.  She was so fast I could hardly catch her on camera:

Now two weeks of relaxation before Paul arrives and we brave taking our trio back through the airports to Michigan.  And I have to say... I'm still a little nervous!

Navigating the Airport with 3 Four and Under...

To say that I was a little nervous about traveling 6 hours by plane with a four year old, a two year old and a six month old might be a bit of an understatement.  Even with Nani and Grumpa's help.  Because while you might think that three adults and three kids means we were "evenly matched" I can't help but think that we aren't when one of those kids is an energetic Mae Bae.

We got to the airport and began the logistical nightmare of unloading the car and the kids and getting everything that needed to be checked, checked.

Then we ventured into the security check area.

You know how there are always TSA horror stories going around?

Well I wished I'd had a video of our experience with TSA, because they were awesome.  They guided us through security.  We had several people helping our group.  One man came over and carried everything for me.  They brought all of our belongings over to a special little booth where we could take our time getting everything repacked.  They were respectful and polite and incredibly helpful.  I was just blown away by what a positive experience it was.  You don't expect security checks to be positive, but our experience with the Detroit TSA actually was. 

Then we started walking with the girls... hoping that if we walked enough, they might "get their wiggles out..."

You can imagine how incredibly excited I was to discover that the Detroit Airport actually has a play area for kids.  An awesome little play area.  And it was empty.  The babies immediately got to work playing:

Patrick pretended to be a plane zooming around the play area by scooting backwards, which is his current mode of getting around:

It was almost impossible to get a non-blurry picture of Sadie because she was zooming around the room going down the little slides:

Patrick worked on being Patrick and smiling every time a camera was pointed in his general direction:

And the girls geared up for the exciting prospect of flying on a plane:

Oh and Mae sprinted for the exit while giggling about fifty times.  Because apparently there's nothing better than trying to get past Mommy:

Then I saw this:

Opps.  Let's just say I ignored rule #1.  

Rule #1 means that Sadie was too tall for this playground back when she was three.

Really 42 inches is the maximum height?  Whatever.

I'm not telling my four year old she's "too big" for the playground.

Because let's face it, we all know who the rule breaker is in the family.

The two year old.  For example:

Does she look like she's ready for a four hour plane ride, a two hour layover and another two hour ride?

Yup.  I was definitely nervous.

How she did on the plane, however, deserves it's very own post...

Because I was about to be shocked...