Ramblings about the Beauty of the Mass (with brief interruptions for toddler misbehavior)

Mass was so beautiful yesterday...  I spent a little bit of time trying to think of how to put it into words, but words fall so far short that I was hesitant to even write this post.

I'd never attended a "High Mass" before and actually asked some online friends if that was actually what the Mass we attended actually was and then started googling for confirmation.  It fit the descriptions I found perfectly.

When we arrived there were five altar servers in the hallway, with incense and candles and Father had just announced that a monsignor was visiting.  Then Mass began and there were three priests, all in the most beautiful vestments I've ever seen, the sort of vestments that made me want to break out some gold thread and figure out how to use the embroidery setting on my new sewing machine, in a feeble attempt at imitating the beautiful garments.

Most of the Mass was sung (that was my clue that it was a high Mass, because I remember reading somewhere that a High Mass is sung) and I'll admit that I spent a good deal of time marveling at how everyone knows to do everything at the exact time, and how it's so graceful and beautiful and almost resembles a sort of dance (in a not liturgical dance sort of way!) because everyone moves together so perfectly.

We were in the Narthex, which ended up being a very good thing, because while Mae Bae did "alright" (and by alright I mean: pulling my snood, and my nose and trying to poke my eyes, while putting her feet on my stomach to try and push off and dive towards the floor... but at least doing all these things quietly), Sadie had a less than stellar day, in which she repeatedly stage whispered:  "Is it over yet?!?!"  This would have been slightly understandable since this Mass was a bit longer, if it hadn't begun 30 minutes into Mass, which is definitely inside the timeline that she normally sits still for.

The highlight of the misbehavior was when we went up for communion (which is normally when she's really quiet) and Paul was carrying her.  I was very thankful for this fact because the memories of a particular Mass, when she was allowed to walk and she made a break for it in an attempt to run around the front of the church, still dance through my head.  When we made it to the front of the Church she started saying in a rather loud voice:  "Put me down!  I want to be down!"

Now if I had to guess the reason for the scene I would have to say it's probably because there were not one but two new priests at Mass, and Sadie seems to think that new priests mean a chance to convince them that she's really of an age to receive (I've noticed lately that she only does it with new priests, who she doesn't recognize, and she's stopped trying to pull one over on the priest that usually says the EF Mass at our Chapel, because she knows he won't be fooled.).  But being held by Daddy pretty much lets everyone know she's not big enough, and she was outraged.

After a talk outside she sat quietly for the remaining few minutes, and things went fairly smoothly, despite a threatened Mae Bae tantrum.

A few hours later we were sitting on the couch when she told me:  "You can't warn me at Mass.  We have to be quiet.  Shhhhhh!" followed by: "And you can't yell at me either.  We have to be quiet!"  I'm sure that my whispered: "Shhhhs" probably do feel a bit like yelling since she knows that she's doing something she's not supposed to be doing when she hears one.  But I digress... back to the reason for this post...

Mass was so beautiful.  I couldn't help but thinking about how much I would long to see this Mass if it were suddenly gone, and how people must have felt when the High Mass became so uncommon for so many years...  I know that all the various types of Masses are equally valid, and maybe it's silly that my heart still feels such a longing to see this particular Mass again, but I couldn't help but thinking that it would be much harder to give up such dazzling beauty that so wonderfully expresses the mystery taking place on the altar.

While my understanding frequently falls short, there was something about this Mass that spoke to my heart, that drew me in, despite the distractions that are normally more than enough to leave me ready to pull out my hair by the end of an hour.  This is surely my own shortcoming.  But I've been to too many Masses that ended up being a near occasion of sin for me, with a completely ad libbed liturgy, or a guitar with an ever increasing volume playing over a priest who's resisting the words of a prayer being changed into a happy clappy song, to not appreciate the difference.

Oh how I hope we end up settling somewhere where this Mass is held, at least occasionally!  Or more than occasionally!  Is it something that's usually rarely done, even in parishes that have EF Masses?  Or do some parishes have it regularly?

Super Bowl 2012

Nooooooooooo!!!

The girls had a blast though.  They ran back and forth across the living room playing with a bouncy ball and crashing in to each other.  Sadie told me as she was falling asleep (at half time) that she really likes "that show."

Planned Parenthood: The Date that Never Ends

I have to admit that there’s something that I just don’t get about the whole Planned Parenthood/ Susan G. Komen debacle.  It’s something that I thought of a while back, when I was looking up businesses that donate to PP to add to our own personal family boycott list, and I found a pro-death website that was advocating not shopping at companies that don’t donate to PP. 

It was a little bit funny at first.  The author of the blog had misread the pro-life article condemning the businesses for donating to PP.  The article showcased rather limited powers of reasoning (evil warps the mind and this author was in love with abortion), and was based on the reading comprehension of a first grader. (I may be a little snippy while writing this because I just spent two hours wrestling with my sewing machine, and apparently I used up all my patience before beginning this post).  The author called for abortion supporters to boycott the businesses on the list because of the mistaken belief that they didn’t donate to PP.  Someone caught the mistake though, and informed everyone in the comments section, and then everyone started writing about sending thank you emails and congratulating themselves on being for the murder of the unborn, and condemning the handful of businesses that had actually been taken off of the list. 

And that’s the line of reasoning that I find baffling.  So… they aren’t going to shop at businesses that don’t donate to PP?  I guess that cuts out the whole “shop locally” thing the majority of the time, since most small businesses are just trying to survive without even think about wading into the quagmire of pro-death politics.  I mean, did I miss the bus on this, and we’re suddenly supposed to expect everyone to donate to the things that we like?

I do boycott companies.  However, I boycott companies for the things that they do.  Support grave evil? I’ll withhold my money from a company, if I think they’re going to use it to contribute to the destruction of human life.  But I don’t boycott companies for not giving to my favorite charity.  I don’t go around asking if a business has written a check to the local soup kitchen or crisis pregnancy center. 

Mary Katharine Ham summed it up nicely on twitter when she said:  “Giving to Planned Parenthood is like going on a date THAT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE, EVER.” 

And the reaction of Planned Parenthood, and their legion of supporters in the past few days, show that that particular tweet isn’t much of an exaggeration.   

Still, I can’t help but think that PP has showed a bit more of their hand than they should have in the past four days.  They’ve acted like a cross between the schoolyard bully and a mafia don, ready to send the Komen foundation to sleep with the fishies for… thinking about not giving them money in the future… if they’re still under investigation (since we’ve all heard that they were still going to fulfill the present grants and those extended for quite a while). 

This has shown anyone who’s listening another side of Planned Parenthood.  And people are bound to wonder about a company that professes to care so much about women, while trying to smash the kneecaps of a “non-profit” who’s best known for fighting breast cancer. 

Sadly, Komen handed over their lunch money to the schoolyard bully, rather than testing the theory that most bullies back down if you stand up to them.  In reality we all know PP wasn’t about to back down (they’re a little bit more syndicated crime family and a little less schoolyard bully)… but with over half the country identifying themselves as pro-life, I think that Komen could have ridden out the storm. 

I guess we’ll never know. 

I do hope that Komen feels the sting of the choice that they’ve made.  Giving to Planned Parenthood doesn’t help women.  It hurts all of us.  It hurts our entire society as it perpetuates the cycle of murder and destruction.  And if Komen wants to keep up the façade of attempting to do good works, they need to choose their bed partners a bit more scrupulously.  Or the majority of the country ,who do identify themselves as pro-life, and who have now watched the drama unfold in the news, are likely to catch on and realize that the little pink ribbon on their yogurt means that their money is going to much, much more than just cancer research.  

Sewing Machine Help!!!!

My new sewing machine is driving me crazy.  I haven't spent this long trying to figure out what's wrong with a machine since I had my cheap little Singer, with it's many, many disasters.

Here's the problem.  The upper thread keeps getting sucked into the bobbin case and causing a mess.  I've read the manual.  I've rethreaded the upper.  I've dusted out the bobbin case.  I've tried other bobbins (and they were working last night threaded as they are).  I changed the needle.  I'm about to start working on thread tension to see if I can figure it out.  I've gone to the brother website and it pretty much tells me what the manual tells me.  But I'm pretty frustrated, losing an entire night of sewing to trying to figure out what's wrong with this machine and why it randomly does this about 50% of the time, and sew beautifully the rest of the time.

A Sadie Frown for Komen

So... Komen...

I think they just surpassed Kraft as the company that I dislike the most.  They have announced that they going back on their earlier announcement and will be funding Planned Parenthood.  I urge every one of you to boycott them.  It's ridiculous.

Planned Parenthood does not provide mammograms.  They provide women with Class 1 Carcinogen's and they murder children.  And that's where your dollars go when you buy a product with their little pink ribbon on it.

Oh yeah.  And they're apologizing for thinking about cutting the funding.  They should apologize to the pro-lifers who donated this last week.  I feel like picketing Komen events.  This is disgusting.


Edited to Add:
There is this link from Jill Stanek.  This is apparently a ploy to get the pro-deathers off of Komen's back and nothing is changed.  They're only fulfilling already given grants, which was apparently part of the original wording.  That's unfortunate if it's true, because it's shattered any trust or support I would have given Komen.  Fool me once shame on you.  Fool me twice...  Yeah... They're back on our boycott list.  I don't trust them. 

Super Bowl Treats

Since the Super Bowl is coming up this weekend I thought I'd repost a few of my favorite treats!  We'll be having a couple of these this Sunday!

Cam's Stuffed Mushrooms (my mom taught me this one!):

Mushrooms

4 pieces bacon

1 8 oz package cream cheese

1/2 cup diced onion

1/2 lemon

1 tbs mayonnaise

2 tbs parmesan cheese (optionally added with bacon)

Wash mushrooms and remove stems. In a bowl combine the cream cheese, the bacon (crumbled) the onion and the mayonnaise. Squeeze the lemon over the mixture. Mix well. With a spoon, spoon the mixture into the mushrooms. Cook at 250 degrees for 10 minutes (if you overcook these they get really runny... If they are just right they shouldn't be runny!).

Artichoke Dip:

As a Californian I was raised on Artichokes. I thought that everyone ate them. Around the time I went to college I realized that wasn't the case. Thankfully Paul and Sadie both love them. They're the basis for the next recipe.

2 jars marinated artichoke hearts (usually around 6 oz each) (slice or pull into smaller pieces)

1 8 oz package cream cheese

1/2 cup green onions (diced)

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1 tbs crushed garlic

1 tbs garlic powder

1/2 cup parmesan cheese

Combine all ingredients in a baking pan. Mix well. Cook at 350 degrees for 30 minutes until golden on top. Serve with crackers or toasted bread.

Taco Dip:

Last there's the taco dip. This is likely the first thing that I ever learned to make. I remember it from pretty much every holiday growing up and it was one of my favorite foods for as long as I can remember. This is another of my mom's recipes:

Refried Beans

Sour Cream

2 Avocados (although I used three so this would be larger)

Salsa

Mayonnaise

Cheddar Cheese

Olives

Layer the refried beans on a plate. Spread to cover entire surface. Cover refried beans with sour cream. Spread to cover the beans.

Cut the avocados and remove the pits. Scoop the avocado into a bowl and mash. Add a dollop of mayonnaise (I usually use 2-3 tbs) and a dollop of salsa (I usually use around a 1/2 cup... my mom probably uses around a 1/4 when she makes this so add it slowly and see what you prefer!). Mix well. You now have guacamole.

Spread the guacamole over the beans.

Grate cheese and spread over the guacamole. Sprinkle with sliced olives.

Serve with chips!

Bacon Cheddar Onion Spread

2 bars cream cheese

2 tbs garlic powder

2 tbs garlic, diced

¼ cup green onions, chopped

½ cup parmesan cheese

¼ cup mayonnaise

¼ cup sour cream

8 oz cheddar cheese, shredded

1 package bacon, cooked and crumbled

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well.  Place in oven safe dish (or bread bowl: I usually prepare a loaf's worth of dough and bake it in a pie pan to get a round loaf, and then cut out the center after it's baked to make bowl for this dip!).  Bake at 350 for 10 minutes.  Enjoy with crackers or bread (it’s great on bagels the next day too!).  

You can adjust the garlic levels as you make it, because I do tend to like things that are very garlic-y!  

Religious Freedom Threatened

It’s been a dramatic week on the Pro-Life/Pro-Death front.  First President Obama decided to violate the religious freedom of Catholics everywhere by creating a mandate that would force Catholic institutions to pay for contraceptives for employees.  Let’s not pretend that Obama didn’t know that he would be forcing Catholics across the country to violate their consciences.  This is just another of the attacks on religious liberty that the administration has been building up to these past years and it is making it increasingly clear why now more than ever he must be voted out of office. 

For those who don’t know, the Catholic Church teaches that contraception is wrong.  Forcing a Catholic to pay for contraception is like expecting a Jewish business to serve pork, or a Muslim business to serve alcohol.  President Obama knows this.  And what he’s doing, along with “Catholic” HHS head Kathleen Sebelius, is evil.  The situation is going to turn into a showdown of sorts, between overreaching, Constitution violating big government and those who won’t allow their rights to be violated. 

The thing is, contraception isn’t “preventative care.”  I know this may come as a surprise in a culture that acts as if having a baby is the equivalent of a life sentence in a high security prison, but pregnancy isn’t a disease.  This way of looking at the world perpetuates the myth (that our society bows down and worships), that sex is consequence free.  Yet as every woman who was on the pill who’s headed in for an abortion knows: sex never really is free of consequences.  As much as our society would like to separate the act from it’s natural result, the two are inseparable.  Even if we’re willing to commit murder after murder to hide the reality that the two go hand in hand, that fact won’t be changed. 

Compounding the disgustingness of Obama’s mandate it the fact that birth control pills are often created to prevent implantation.  Even pills that also attempt to prevent ovulation often have a backup that prevents implantation in the event that ovulation occurs.  The progesterone only, “mini pill,” doesn’t prevent ovulation in about half of women who take it… it only prevents implantation in these women (which would be women taking the mini pill who still have their period)… basically causing an abortion any month that a woman conceives.   

And don’t even get me started on the idea of prescribing a Class 1 Carcinogen (as defined by the World Health Organization) as “preventative care.”  That’s right., birth control pills are classified as a Class 1 Carcinogen.  In other words they’re “known to be carcinogenic” (they cause cancer).  And we’re prescribing them as “preventative care?”  Which is why Susan G. Komen funding Planned Parenthood was so ridiculous (especially since the link between breast cancer and the pill is so firmly established).

In the past week I’ve watched as Bishop after Bishop has stood up and condemned the mandate.  I’ve listened as some have spoken out and said that we will not comply.  And my heart lifts with hope, to hear so many Bishops in our country speaking out against evil.  Yet it’s going to take more than letters and words, and even actions, from our leadership, to stop this mandate from becoming law.  We’re all going to have to step up and decry this violation of liberty, if we’re going to stop it.  Ignoring this evil isn’t going to make it go away.  We have to let Obama know that this is still the land of the free and that we aren’t going to accept his latest overstep. 

The simplest way to end this mandate will be to send Obama packing in November.   I’m ready to hear the words Lame Duck tossed around for a few months. Hopefully many of the Catholics who voted for him last time around will recognize the mistake that his election was and use their vote this time around to amend the problem, rather than extending it for another four years.  Either way, we need to be prepared to stand with our Bishops and resist this evil mandate. 

While Obama is beginning his latest attacks on religious freedom with the Catholic Church, I can guarantee it won’t end with Catholics.  Now is the time to stand together, and let the government know that this is the final overstep and that it won’t be tolerated.  And then let’s enter the voting booth in ten months and let him know we’re ready to take our country back.  

Susan G Komen is No Longer Outlawed in our House!

Edit to Add:  Komen reversed their decision today, Friday, February 3rd.  Avoid them at all costs.  They fund a company that hands out class 1 carcinogens to women.  So much for fighting cancer.

 There are a lot of companies we avoid in this house.  We don't buy anything from Kraft, or the 100 or so other names they operate under (for example: A1, Country Time, Chips Ahoy, Cadbury, Balance bar, Fig Newton, Capri Sun, Maxwell House, Jell-O, Kool-Aid, Nabisco, Ritz, Toblerone, Triscuit, Teddy Grahams, Oscar Mire, Velveeta and Philadelphia (cream cheese) to name a few).  We avoid Nestle.  We've given up Pepsi products altogether.  And we bypass the table with Girl Scouts selling cookies in front of the supermarket (my own thoughts on this particular boycott are here).

These are all fairly recent changes that we've made, since it was revealed that these companies used fetal stem cells in their food testing, last spring (minus the Girl Scouts... that began a couple of years ago, because of the policies given in the articles sited).  But the above companies weren't the beginning of my super market boycott by a long shot.

No, my first boycott was any item with the name Susan G. Komen on it... and I'll admit that I hated to have to do it.  You see, I'm all for fighting breast cancer.  But just as much as I'm for fighting breast cancer, I'm against funding Planned Parenthood.  I know firsthand that the abortion giant is evil, having volunteered their through my "Catholic" college back before I was pro-life, and there's no way I'm going to be putting a penny towards helping them if I can avoid it.

So I would scan the items that I put into my cart for that little pink ribbon, and if I saw it, I'd quickly examine the little badge, hoping against hope that it was for some other organization.  More often than not it was for Komen, and we'd begin looking for alternatives, as we placed the item back on the shelf.

Yesterday, it was announced, that Komen is cutting off funding to Planned Parenthood.  The charity says that it's because they have a new policy that forbids donating to organizations that are under local, state or federal investigation (go Lila Rose!).  Will it last?  I have no idea.  I hope so.  I pray that it does!  But for a least a little while, I will be buying products without carefully examining the little pink ribbon!

And of course, if this does change, I'll let you know as soon as I know.  But I sure hope it doesn't!

Saint Therese Projects

Sadie carefully watched me sewing during Mae's nap time and while this doll was still being cut out she asked:  "Is that Saint Therese of the Child Jesus?"  I was a little surprised at the name, but she quickly went back to talking about "Marie Therese like they were old friends."

But she had guessed what I was making.

There just aren't many surprises in this house.  

This picture doesn't do the doll justice at all, because the stitch that I used for all of the seams is really neat... but it's very late and I'm a little bit too sleepy to do a photo shoot with a doll... so this picture will have to do for now.  I'm experimenting with saint doll ideas at the moment.

I think I'll try to hide this away for a while.  Maybe if she forgets about it, it can be a surprise later.

This is another little part of a project I've been working on.  It's far from finished, but Sadie loves carrying it around the house.

I made this one entirely by hand, but having discovered the stitch that I used on the doll I think this project is going to be coming along much more quickly.

Now to get a little bit of sleep before the girls wake up.  I can hardly keep my eyes open!

Wonderful News!

I have really good news.

Okay, not as good as a positive pregnancy test, but still, pretty good.

After the miscarriage we had a couple thousand dollars in medical bills after our insurance paid what they were billed for.  The rest would have been covered by our insurance, but the various groups refused to accept it, and so we ended up with quite a bit to pay.  I put the first thousand on our credit card somewhat begrudgingly.  That covered pathology and radiology, (and that's where the balance remains, although hopefully I'll be able to pay it off sooner rather than later).  I was annoyed that they'd charged me to test my whether I was RH negative, when I told them that I was not when they asked.  I was also annoyed that they insisted on taking the baby, running a ton of tests when I told them not to, and then charged me $300 for finding absolutely nothing out, before returning the body in a taped up cardboard box.  But we paid.

However, I was absolutely not willing to pay for the treatment I received for something like 15 minutes with two PA's that added up to a whopping $1600.  I'm sorry but they each talked to me for five minutes, did one quick exam each (two separate trips) and said there was nothing going on yet, and then left me in a room where I delivered at 14 weeks by myself while everyone ignored my cries for help (if you're new, the story of what happened this last fall is here).  One nurse that came in to try and help was stopped by another nurse and I heard her tell him she would be in there in a few minutes (didn't happen though).  I had a major problem paying for that.

But the very idea of fighting the hospital over it made me sick.  In fact, driving by the hospital would make me feel panicky.  And it didn't help that the hospital has signs plastered all over this town and commercials on the airwaves talking about how wonderful they are.  I let my Dad and Paul take care of it, and the payment company launched an investigation.  I wrote up the story of the trip itself and they said a doctor looked at it and it was reviewed and that we had to pay.  A collection agency began to call.

One night I took a deep breath and started writing out everything that had happened.  Three months of incidents.  It was hard.  I was incredibly thankful for this blog because I'd written much of what happened here as it happened.  I had exact dates for every problem, doctor's appointment and complication.  I cut and pasted a lot.  And in the end I had around 11 pages (I thought it was 20... but I went back and looked and it wasn't quite that long) of single spaced words, that described the entire process, up to the present.

Paul took it in while I waited in the car with the girls in the hospital parking lot, trying not to be upset by my proximity to that building.  About twenty minutes later, Paul came out.  Apparently the first woman to read it had begun shaking and rushed to give it to someone else.

A few hours later we were informed by the hospital that an investigation was being launched and that while it could take some time, they would try to do it within 30 days.  Today, which is just about 30 days later, we received a letter.

I was very nervous opening it.  I'm usually pretty optimistic, but this situation has been nothing but bad, and I wouldn't have been surprised to have more negative news.

The first page of typed words told me they were sorry that I was dissatisfied with my experience.  I was pretty sure they were going to tell us to pay up, by the way the letter was headed.  They went over what happened.  And then...

They informed us that the people that had made the mistakes had not worked for the hospital.  They were contract workers.  And that they wouldn't be bothering us anymore, because our unpaid debt had been erased.  I had to read it twice before the words actually registered.  Then Paul read it too, noting the emphasis on "not our employees."

So I'm pretty excited.  I was thinking of having a super sale on my stores to try to pay it off, if the letter had read differently, with a "hospital" etsy coupon.  What a relief!  And an answered prayer!

Mae Bae's Cabinet

I can now jokingly tell Mae Bae to go to her cabinet.  It's one of her favorite places in the house.  In reality, I was spending so much time dragging her out of it, that I finally gave up and let her make it into her own little fort.

Sadie and Mae's Karate Class

Sadie and Mae had their very first karate class today.

Okay... it wasn't a typical karate class.  Mommy was the sensei (Show of hands:  how many of you knew I actually am a real sensei?  It doesn't come up often here!).  It took place in our living room after we picked up the toys (Sadie is seldom that enthusiastic about picking up her toys!).  And in the beginning it was a private lesson, with just Sadie, who had begged for nearly an hour before our little lesson to start learning karate so that she could be a "rescuer."  She's very into "rescuing" Mae Bae these days, regardless of whether Mae wants or needs to be rescued.

To really explain how excited Sadie was about her "karate class" I'd have to add that she actually agreed to wear pants.  Of course she changed out of them moments after our lesson was over, but getting her into pants any other time is pretty much impossible.  We had tears at bedtime when I only had pants and a shirt for her to wear as pjs... because she had her heart set on a nightdress that was in the hamper...

Mae didn't take much notice of what we were doing at first. She was playing with a flashlight that Sadie has swiped out of my closet.  After about twenty minutes she noticed and came over and laughed hysterically at every punch or kick.  She loved the sound of my gi snapping with each kick and she was especially amused by the fact that I was counting out loud in Japanese.

After she stopped hysterically giggling, she joined in and we saw Ninja Mae Bae return.  Sadie was a little hesitant when she was beginning to learn to punch.  Mae watched us and started throwing punches left and right as fast as she could while still laughing.  She practiced in the bathtub.  She practiced while Nani was on Skype.  So I guess she's pretty enthusiastic too.

By the end of the lesson Sadie had actually managed a few pretty good kicks.  Not bad for a three year old!  I kind of wish I'd started when I was three!

I've decided to start training again for exercise and I have a feeling that Sadie and Mae's enthusiasm to "practice karate," will be good motivation to train daily.  It would be nice to have a place to train outside the house, maybe once a week... but I have a feeling that's a few years off!  Maybe after Paul graduates.

I haven't mentioned karate on her very often, but it used to be a big part of my life.  I have a black belt in Shorin Ryu Karate, a brown belt in Kyokushin Karate, a green belt in Taekwondo and I studied Aikido and Wushu for a bit in college (I was horrible when I gave Wushu a try when I was in Cape Town... it was too different from all the training I'd had previously).  I taught a class briefly for the recreational sports department at my college, but hadn't had the time to train very often in the past half decade.  Now it'll be something fun that the girls can learn with me, that will mean a little more exercise.  I have a feeling I'm going to be sore tomorrow morning from the little we did today!  It's definitely a good way to get back into shape!

The Green Dress

The dress that I've been working on was finished just before midnight last night (just in time to wear it to Mass this morning).  I managed to follow the pattern until it told me how to put on the zipper... then I just couldn't help myself as I caved in to my "I know a better way" impulse.  I'm counting this as basically following a pattern though.  It may be as close as I'm going to get!

The Machine

Yesterday I finished all the remaining headcoverings and chaplets that had been ordered in the past month. It's the first time all month I've been completely caught up on paid for orders, although things have been working out perfectly, with each new order coming in within twelve hours of finishing the previous order.  I have a few custom orders I've been working on, that I'm finishing up, but last night I paused to do a task that I've been dreading for the last two weeks.

I got out my new sewing/embroidery machine, with the manual and decided it was time for the machine to do more than decorate my bookshelf.  For the last few weeks I'd been so busy with all the orders that I knew I needed to finish each night before the girls woke up, that I didn't have time to sit down and learn how to thread the bobbin, or use the auto threader to thread the needle (that was the toughest part... I've never had a problem threading a needle, and for a while I just did it manually, but I did want to figure out how the auto-threader worked, and when I finally got it to do what it was supposed to do I felt like I deserved a medal!).  Being busy is a very, very good thing, but it meant that the sewing machine would wait a little longer.

I didn't want to try the sewing machine out on an actual order.  That could be disastrous.

So instead I decided to do something that was slightly insane, while learning to use my machine.  I got out the fabric that I had managed to cut out during nap time one day, and began sewing a dress.  More specifically, I began sewing a satin dress, while ignoring the small voice of reason that was determinedly asking if I'd lost it.  Satin is, after all, not my favorite fabric to sew.

After getting the sewing machine set up to sew I made it all the way to step two on the pattern before I encountered a problem.  I needed to "gather" the fabric around the bust.  On my old sewing machine this would have involved turning a dial.  On the new sewing machine it involved a fancy touch screen (that I didn't realize was a touch screen) with a bunch of buttons with no words.  I looked at the manual, which showed buttons I couldn't find.  I tried pressing the buttons that were there, without luck.  Finally I realized it was a touch screen (the problem with reading only the part of the instructions about the specific task I was trying to do) tapped it, and the buttons in the manual magically appeared on the screen.  And voila, I could adjust the stitch length.

The machine sews beautifully.  I still have to finish the sleeves, hem and neckline on the dress, and add the zipper but I'm pretty excited about how it's coming along so far.  I do wish I'd used a more casual fabric, because the satin looks really fancy and it would have been more practical to make an everyday dress that I would wear more often.  Or maybe I'll just wear this anyways, day to day, because the crepe back satin I use has already shown, via the princess dresses, that it's really, really tough.  I went with this particular satin because I had so much of it laying around, that I got during a sale months ago, and I decided to test my poor pattern reading skills on it, before moving on to a fabric that I liked more.

This is a big step for me.  I usually don't use patterns and just make things up as I go along, which either turns out very well, or ends in disaster.  I'm like this with cooking and knitting too.  Following instructions is apparently a weakness of mine.  I always end up with some idea I think is "better" and end up switching things around.  But I'm determined to follow this pattern all the way through...  and I'm hoping (and expecting) to learn a bit about pattern reading (and patience) along the way!

Holy Water and Nightmares

The first words that I heard this morning when I woke up was a small whisper saying: "Mommy.  I need Holy Water."

This was in the wake of Sadie's concern earlier in the week when she discovered that we were out of Holy Water and ran up to me and said:  "Mommy, Daddy needs to go to the store and get Holy Water!!!! in a panicked tone.  I told her we don't buy Holy Water at the store, Daddy could just go next door to the chapel and bring some back, but she still raced out and told him in an equally alarmed tone that he needed to go buy some at the store, in a tone that indicated that it needed to be done right away.

Our Holy Water fonts are a pretty new addition to our home and Sadie seems to think that they're absolutely wonderful.

I first thought of ordering the fonts when Sadie began having her nightmares.  They stretched on, nightly, for months and the subject was always the same... the "new baby," and specifically, as far as I could tell that the new baby wasn't with "mommy."  We talked about the new baby being in heaven with Jesus and Mary, we prayed that she would not have any bad dreams, and we'd tried ignoring the subject, but nothing was working.  I remembered reading somewhere that some families would have the father bless the children with Holy Water before bed and many of the people in the comments section of that particular article, that I can only vaguely remember, had said they did the same thing with their children and that nightmares largely disappeared.

So we decided to give it a try.  I went through Ebates to the Catholic Company (5% back on anything you order, and since I was buying them anyway... yeah... I'm totally hooked...) and found two that were beautiful.  I ordered the Our Lady of Grace font for Sadie's room and I ordered the Holy Family font for our entryway.

The Holy Family font was originally backordered, so the Our Lady of Grace font arrived first, and Sadie was thrilled.  I put it on our little home altar to wait until I'd bought strips to hang it, and Sadie war frequently found swiping it off the altar and carrying it carefully around.  One day I found her in her room, with the font on a shelf, praying beside it.

Once it was hung and filled with holy water, Paul began blessing each of the girls each night before we said our family rosary at bedtime.  Sadie hasn't had a nightmare in over a week.  She did wake up and get out of bed the other night to come get me when I was sewing, something that's never happened before.  In the past she always woke up screaming in terror.  So for her to silently get up, without waking up her baby sister, and walk across the dark room to find me was a big step in a good direction!

The font also means that she loves to run and reach up and dip her fingers in it and make the sign of the cross.  She also crossed herself, without prompting, yesterday when we walked in past the chapel on our walk.  And of course, she loves to go around making the sign of cross on other people too, afterwards proudly saying:  "I blessed you Mommy!"

My heart swells when she says those words and I must admit that I do feel very blessed!

Mae Bae... The Plato Reading Ninja Toddler...

I can now tell, quite easily, when Sadie is frustrated about something.  Because she now looks at me, through gritted teeth and says:  "I will never bite you again Momma.  I promise.  I will never bite you again." And then I know that she's thinking about biting me (and thankfully resisting the urge!)...

Mae Bae has had an interesting day.  The scariest part of the day was when she charged across the room and jumped up on the big red leather chair in our living room.  She was going so fast that it actually started to tilt backwards.  When it tilted she threw herself forward and somersaulted over the back, brushing her head against the table behind the chair as she continued to roll, while somehow managing to spin around and land, in a sitting position on the ground to the side of the table and the chair, completely uninjured.  She did look somewhat surprised.  I was so panicked (because I was thinking "how can she not be hurt?!?!?!) that when I raced over, my finger poked her eye as I scrambled to scoop her up... which did result in a few moments of tears.

This may be Mae Bae's first lesson that Mommy is clumsy, particularly when in a panicked is-the-baby-hurt??? mode.  I'm not sure where she inherited her toddler ninja skills, since Daddy shares the same clumsy gene.

Mae Bae has been doing something else that Paul and I both think is kind of funny.  There's a book of Plato over on one of the bookshelves that Mae Bae is in love with.  Some kids have blankies.  Some have stuffed animals.  Mae has Plato.  She carries it around the house with her.  There's an empty cupboard in the kitchen that she loves to climb into and she'll go in the cupboard, with the book, and close the door and sit in the closed cupboard with it.  Sometimes she pages through it.  Sometimes she just holds it or carries it around the house.  Today she cried hysterically when it was time to go on our walk, and she actually convinced Paul to let her take it with us.  She sat and looked at the pages for part of the walk, and then hugged it to her chest for the remainder.  It's the strangest "lovey" I've ever seen!

Daily Dose of Cuteness: Mae Bae's Smile!

"Momma. I promise. I will never..."

The first words I heard this morning when I woke up were: "Momma.  I promise.  I will never bite you again."

Someone's been feeling pretty badly about an incident when we were leaving the park yesterday, and after two days and well over a dozen freely volunteered apologies, I doubt she will ever bite anyone ever again.

We'd gone through a biting phase that lasted a terrible six months from 2 to 2 1/2, but after more than a year without biting I was rather surprised when, mid tantrum about leaving the park and ending our play date, she reached over and bit my arm.  Hard (although thankfully not hard enough to break the skin this time... I do still have a scar from one of those year old bites!).  There was yelling.

After about a minute calming down in her stroller I went over and showed her the teeth marks and explained that when she got mad and bit me, it really hurt.  She went from outraged at the injustice of leaving the park to very quiet.  "I meant to bite this right here Momma." She pointed to the stroller.

I paused for a moment.  Do we begin to learn about lying now?  Sadie's a pretty honest little kid.  She's wonderful at pretending and imagining, but she doesn't usually tell outright lies to get out of trouble.  I decided to cut that tendency off immediately.

"No you didn't mean to bite the stroller Sadie.  That's a lie.  And lies make God sad.  You need to tell him you're sorry."

"I'm sorry God."  The words were tearful.  "I'm sorry Momma.  I'm sorry for biting your arm!!!!"  Tears.

I told her that it was okay and that I loved her and we headed home.  After we got home and Daddy came home from class she told him what happened (and then I repeated it because she could hardly be understood) and I thought it would probably drop... But periodically throughout the day:

"I'm sorry Momma!  I'm sorry I bit your arm."  And then I'd tell her not to worry about it.  It was over.  I love her no matter what, even if she did bite my arm again.  And that was when the new apology began with the promise that she had no biting plans in the future.

I think we may now really be past the biting phase with her.  And oh how I hope Mae doesn't go through the same thing, when she turns 2!  Now to get Sadie distracted so she stops worrying...  Sometimes accepting that we've been forgiven something is the hardest part.  Thankfully a three year old is easily distracted.

Of Pie and Palestrina

I just had to write a quick post pointing you all towards a great new blog.  Katherine is writing "Of Pie and Palestrina" and it's definitely worth following!   I've been meaning to write a longer post, talking about all the great blogs I've been stumbling across lately, but I always end up sewing or writing about something else at the last moment, and so until I get organized enough to actually make a list, it's probably best that I just share as I go along!

Her latest post talks about the modern relevancy of a great play, and shows that the terrible choice our government is asking religious men and women to make in the coming year, in violation of their consciences, is nothing new.  It's the play that inspired one of my shops' names and a play that Paul was assigned to read and that then watch during orientation (the movie version) before class began this year.

Katherine's Life List post is another favorite of mine (I think I could have written it!)!

So I'd definitely recommend checking it out!

Snow White (x2)!

I think everyone guessed correctly on the new sewing project!  A Snow White Dress (two actually... since I know better to make just one of anything these days!).  

Sadie is actually the one who is constantly trying to convince me to let her watch Snow White when Mae takes a nap.  Mae likes the princess, but thinks the movie is scary.  Sadie laughs through the movie like she's watching the funniest comedy ever.  

Now I just have to figure out whether or not to sew a collar... and if I do sew it... how to sew it!

This dress is definitely going to be a challenge!

Woohoo!

The girls were so excited about the playoff game this weekend.  They love to watch Paul cheer for New England almost as much as they loved playing with their bouncy balls (and an orange) while the game was on.  Sadie kept trying to convince Paul that the game was going so well that she needed to be tossed in the air.

I couldn't find Mae's Bruschi jersey, and so I found a tank top that she barely fit into and a pair of pants that almost matched.  Sadie on the other hand, was determined to squeeze into her cheerleader outfit.  I think this year will be the last time she can wear it.  She barely got it on.  It's a 4 and while she can wear a 5, she's easily fitting into 6-6xs now.  It's almost Mae Bae's turn to wear it (Mae's a 3T)!

The camera has a hard time catching Mae Bae when she's moving at top speed:

The good thing about this picture is you can't tell quite how small the top is!  She's just so tall that it doesn't really cover her tummy anymore!  I had to search for this picture!  And like her little sister, she's too fast for my camera's regular setting!

After quite a while playing ball they settled down to watch the game with Momma.  We were hoping Daddy's team was going to play Grumpa's team in the Super Bowl, but that was not to be...  On to the big game!!!

The Newest Sewing Project

Care to guess what Sadie's finally convinced me to sew...

There will be two of them.  Here we are picking out fabric colors (I gave her a choice between to reds... the $3 a yard red and the $20+ a yard red... can you guess which one she picked?  I was hoping she'd pick the $3 satin over the $20 dupioni silk... but she apparently has expensive taste... thankfully the project only requires a tiny bit of red!).

Hint on the original question: She's thought Mae Bae has needed this for a while...

A Random Picture Filled Post!

This post may end up being rather random.

I am supposed to be sewing right now... but a late night migraine has struck.  It's not that bad (medicated), and I'm still pretty excited about my new week/migraine ratio since I've been watching what I eat.  It's nice to have figured something out.  We now know that there's something in candy and soda that triggers migraines for me.  It doesn't take very much.  I know that it's not sugar... because I could bake a ton of sugary treats and eat a ton of chocolate (not good for my diet) and be fine.  But a soda and a handful of skittles and insta-migraine.  The problem for me was that I usually kept a coke on hand because caffeine used to help my migraines... but that proved to be not good at all since now coke seems to be a big, big trigger.

The good news it that, since testing this theory out, I've gone from 3-4 migraines a week to right around 1 migraine a week.  And a decrease like that has me pretty happy right now.  I don't think they'll ever be completely gone, because they definitely seem to also be tied to my hormones, but this is a step in the right direction.

Anyways... Sadie is really into having her picture taken now.  And posing.  So here are a few of my favorites, with a running commentary:

A lot of twirling goes on around here.  Mae Bae twirls now too.  Life is a swirl of pink satin in our home.

Mae Bae is holding her favorite toy in this picture: it's a pink cooking mitt that I got in the dollar section of Target a few years ago.  She loves it and constantly wants me to wear it, and then pretend that it's a monster that's chasing her.

Just don't call those pigtails "pigtails."  They're "two ponytails."  Sigh.

A Mae Bae smile.

Another picture of Mae Bae with her oven mitt, which has somehow earned the nickname "Gillywompus."

This is around the point where she started saying: "Take my picture Momma!  Take my picture!" And then running over in between shots to look at them on my camera. 

I'm not really sure where she got all her little poses from!  She kept trying to look serious!

And then Daddy got home with a pizza!  Mae Bae loves pizza.

Maybe she was missing Gillywompus?

Daddy saves the day!

Living for Him

Over the centuries, various scriptural "interpretations" have been born, sometimes twisting the meaning of scripture so that it seems to contradict itself, when no such contradiction exists.  Take these verses from Matthew, chapters 5 and 6:

"Be careful not to parade your uprightness in public to attract attention; otherwise you will lose all reward from your Father in heaven... And when you pray, do not imitate the hypocrites: they love to say their prayers standing up in the synagogues and at the street corners for people to see them. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward." 

 Matthew 6:1-5 

"Blessed are you when people abuse you and persecute you and speak all kinds of calumny against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven; this is how they persecuted the prophets before you.'You are salt for the earth. But if salt loses its taste, what can make it salty again? It is good for nothing, and can only be thrown out to be trampled under people's feet. 'You are light for the world. A city built on a hill-top cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house. In the same way your light must shine in people's sight, so that, seeing your good works, they may give praise to your Father in heaven.'Do not imagine that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. I have come not to abolish but to complete them. In truth I tell you, till heaven and earth disappear, not one dot, not one little stroke, is to disappear from the Law until all its purpose is achieved." 

Matthew 5:11-18 

Some would take the first verse and use it to tell others to hide their faith.  They become bullies, intent on enforcing the status quo, whatever it may be.  Any deviation from their standard must be stamped out.


Over the years I've heard from many women who are afraid to cover their heads for Mass, despite a strong longing in their hearts to show their respect for the most blessed sacrament in this way, because they don't want people to think that they're "holier than thou."  And so they suppress the quiet urging that they feel.  Some overcome the disapproval (it took me about a year of worrying what other people would think before I finally began to wear the veil that I'd felt drawn to and that I desperately wanted to wear in the presence of the Eucharist, before I actually did it).

After all, attracting attention is apparently to be avoided at all costs, even if we're following a gentle pull on our heart to a certain devotion, or to live in a certain way that might seem odd to others.  Yet we know that  we're supposed to be in this world and not of this world.  Can we really expect to blend in if we follow this command? Jesus tells us that we're going to be hated for his sake.  That generally doesn't happen when we're the embodiment of the status quo, after all the world loves its own.

It does happen when our lives or actions or words cause people to question something about themselves.  It happens when we somehow threaten some safe assumption that someone else doesn't want to think twice about, because questioning it might lead to a change and let's face it, it's easier to be who we've always been.  In these cases that first verse becomes a fall back response.  "Don't be a hypocrite.  You're just putting on a show."

I was trying to remember tonight where I'd recently read that particular verse, used in that very way, and I finally stumbled across it.  That verse was being flung around by David Silverman, in regard to Tim Tebow and his very public faith.  "Bad Catholic" gave a great explanation:

Silverman: “It is not surprising Tebow ignores Matthew 6:5 in which Jesus says, ‘When you pray, do not pray like the hypocrites in the street…They pray to be seen praying. Pray in the closet.” Right, that’s what Christ said. Pray in the closet.

Not to be all Catholic, but stop with your fundamentalist interpretations of Scripture. Why was Christ angry at the hypocrites for praying in the streets? Was it because public prayer is inherently wrong? No, because there’s that whole “Let your light shine before all men” bit that needs taking into account. The key word here is hypocrites. The problem isn’t that they’re praying in the street, it’s that they’re only praying in the street. The problem is that everyone liked them for praying in the streets, that everyone thought they were holy for doing so.

You see, despite the fairly consistent twisting of Matthew 6, Matthew 5 makes it abundantly clear that we're not supposed to hide our faith.  We aren't supposed to put on an empty show either.  God made us.  He knows us.  He knows our hearts and what he wants from us is so simple, that a young child can understand it easily.  

He wants us to love him.  He wants us live for him.  

Living for him isn't going to look like living for the world.  And it isn't going to look the same from person to person.  He made each of us differently, with a variety of strengths and talents that he will use to transform our world, if we strive to serve him.  

We could put a basket over our little shining light, hiding our precious fledgling, stumbling faith.  Or we can pick ourselves up, over and over again, trying to keep our eyes on what really matters: God.  

It's our choice... our only choice really... at least it's the only one that matters at all...  And what will our answer be?  Will we tell God yes or no?  We decide daily, over and over again: will we serve him?  Or will we turn away?  Our "yes" changes everything.  It has to.  

As a side note: I will be moderating and deleting obnoxious comments.  There's a difference between discussion and repeated insults and certain readers have cross the line.  I will no longer be publishing or responding to your comments.  I will continue to remember you in my prayers.  

"My Babies are Getting Away from Me!!!"

She came up with this... all on her own... this morning.  Then she started chasing three bouncy balls around the house while saying: "Oh no!  My babies are getting away from me!"