But one statement that she made towards the end of the appointment sent my head spinning, as thought after thought began to chase each other round in my mind.
"Our doctor's are very, very good and very supportive of VBACs." She said in an optimistic voice. "So I'm not sure if you want to try, and I can't promise you they'll say yes, but you should bring it up if you want to because there's a very good chance they'll say yes."
"Oh." I said, and sat there dumbly.
I didn't say that I'm 99% certain that none of the doctor's in the office would be on board with the idea. My own doctor was the only one on board for my VBA2C and he was very clear that if the trial of labor failed he wouldn't be on board with another attempt.
Still the question, "If I could have another trial of labor would I?" kept running through my head and I'm finally sitting down to order my thoughts and face the fact that the answer, quite simply, is no.
"Had a C-section? You know you didn't have to?" Someone will likely say (no, seriously, it really happens when the topic comes up). "It really wasn't necessary."
I was told quite a few times that my first c-section wasn't necessary. Sure I went into labor naturally and progressed quickly and had no painkillers for an hour before pushing and was up and about in a variety of positions, and pushed for five hours before my c-section, but I probably could have done something differently. You know, if I tried a little harder.
Of course, if you've read here through my last pregnancy you know I'm a big fan of natural child birth. But I'm also really thankful that c-sections exist. Because there are those of us who wouldn't be here if it weren't for that option (as I was told by pretty much every doctor I saw after I delivered Sadie).
Which is a whole lot of lead in for the post(s) (because I have a feeling there may be more than one if this first trimester exhaustion doesn't knock me off my feet first) that I'm going to write for a friend who is expecting and asked me to write about my experience with c-sections (and who I'd like to congratulate here! You know who you are! Congratulations!). The posts to come are going to be my mishmash of what I've learned from my c-sections, because while it's not my first choice in the way I'd like to welcome our little ones into the world, it's not all bad either.
And for those of us who do face necessary c-sections, we might as well look on the bright side!