|12 weeks pregnant with Sadie...
I could have kept it a secret the first time around.
But that's pretty much it.
We announce our pregnancies early for a number of reasons. Maybe the biggest is that I'm not very good at keeping really good news to myself. I'm horrible at not telling Paul about the really cool thing I found for his birthday or Christmas. And it's a thousand times harder for me to keep a baby a secret.
That's not the only reason though.
I can't imagine keeping a loss like that a secret. I know that for some people that is exactly their reaction, and that is exactly right for them, but my reaction is the opposite. My instinct is to write and write and write until I run out of words. And for me, that's healing.
At the same time I feel like the people that may potentially help me through a loss should be able to share in the joy of the announcement when the news is good. If you might be reading sadness in the future, than I definitely want the share the happiness with you that we're feeling right now.
And for us, that fits our strategy with the kids. Sadie talks about Christian now and then, sweetly. She looks at the little 12 week ultrasound picture that we have up on the wall with the other pictures of herself and her brothers and her sisters and talks about him. Not every day, or every week, and not sadly, because our hope is in God to see him again someday.
Still, there's another reason that we would never be able to keep this secret from our kids... or from anyone who knows us in real life. I live in a house of little bump watchers. Sadie is perpetually on the lookout. And she's not the only one (or at least not the only one to notice!).
We told the people we know in real life at about 5 weeks. Yesterday one of Mae's therapists and I were sitting on the floor talking about how quickly each subsequent pregnancy shows and she said she'd suspected I was pregnant before we made the announcement. So to say that I show early is really, really accurate. To give an example of how early I now show took a few pictures.
This is me at 7 weeks and 6 days:
Yeah. I know. My first time around that would have been 20 weeks. These days my muscles sense the pregnancy hormones and call it a day.
And lest you think that was how I started out here's a progression from the week we found out to now (because I'm totally coping an idea I saw on pinterest):
|That would be a 2 lb weight gain... but it looks like so much more!
And those are the various reasons we tell pretty much as soon as we find out! It's just what's right for us!