Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Dress Journal

Today was the 225 day of my Year of Dresses (or at least, of my first year of dresses). I had fallen way behind on posting and so I went back slowly, day by day, posting each picture with it's matching date (because, with the exception of the one day where I didn't get out of my pjs after the third ER trip, I did manage to keep taking photos for the most part). They're all up now.

As I looked back over the pictures from the last month, it was rather odd. I could track what had happened each day, without knowing the actual dates, by the expressions in various pictures and the hospital bracelets that hadn't yet been removed (lots of "fake smiles" from my years of dance classes and performances!). Days 205-207 were the saddest to view because the pictures are just so happy, and now, with twenty/twenty hindsight I know what's coming.

Then again today was a bit of a sad day. For the most part everything has been normal. The two girls keep us all so busy that it's very easy to fall into a routine. Today, however, Sadie chatted quite a bit about the "new baby" finally telling me that she felt sad about the baby going to heaven. I told her that it's okay to feel sad. But seeing Sadie sad pretty much breaks my heart. And it has been a very stressful month for her with so many big changes.

Hopefully we'll be falling into a routine soon and life will be a little more normal for all of us (especially Sadie). Tomorrow we'll have a few extra distractions since we're planning on driving out to see the main campus and go to Mass at the chapel there (although we are planning on making the parish we found last week our parish). And distractions are a very good thing...

I promise to make an effort to be more upbeat tomorrow! We have been very blessed. I need to keep reminding myself of that fact!


  1. It must be so hard. I'll be praying that things will go better for you in the next few weeks as your whole family adjusts to the change and the loss of a little one. If it helps to cheer you up, I am working on your apron, so you should be seeing it soon.

  2. Like you told Sadie, It's ok to be sad. Loosing your child, no matter what age they are, is always a heart breaking experience. The Baron and I lost our first little one when I was only just realizing that I was pregnant. It happened the weekend of Mother's Day two years ago and it was painful. I can just imagine how hard it is for you two. You don't have to be strong with us (your readers). Many of us know what it's like and will try to support you every way we can. Your blog has always been a place of truth. Whether it be the truth of the Catholic Church, truth of your feeling, or just the truth about your life. Know that the Baron and I are keeping you and Paul as well as Sadie and even little Mae and the baby in our prayers. These are dark times for you all but I know you all are very strong and will make it through to see sunnier days ahead.

  3. I won't pretend I know what it is like. I don't. But I've had friends who have and I know from watching and praying and talking that it can be very hard.

    As the Baroness said, you don't have to be upbeat for us. You are a very strong woman but that doesn't mean you would be unaffected by the loss of a child. It is only human to mourn the loss of a loved one, even a loved one you loved only a little while.

    You are very blessed indeed! But that doesn't mean blessings don't come with crosses. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Hang in there.

  4. No need to be upbeat if that's not how you're feeling. It's important to grieve the loss, too - if you need to. We Catholics are always insisting that the unborn are humans just like our already-born children are - so it would be quite normal to be devastated with the outcome. Having said that, some people do better with putting on a happy face and plunging ahead - so if that's you, then go with that : )

    Blessings to your family.


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