Hypno-Fail?

I should start off this post by saying that I'm actually really loving the hypnobaby tracks I've been listening to this week, and am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my books, which the UPS website tells me are nowhere, although they're estimated delivery date is today (I have a feeling that's a computer scanning error and that they should be on our doorstep by dinner time).

Yet this week I've also been feeling a bit like a failure, mostly because of my seeming inability to not fall asleep when I'm listening to the Hypnobaby MP3s.  Here's the story of two nights ago:

It was still rather early, but I had finished my work for the day and went downstairs to sit on the couch and listen to the "Turn Your Breech Baby" track.  The previous two days I'd fallen asleep while listening to the tracks in our bedroom and I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I sat on the couch next to Paul and listened to it, I would stay awake.  I am cutting myself a bit of a break on this weeks progress, mainly because of the flu and the not-being-able-to-breath-particularly-well-thing that's been going on (I've been keeping track on the little lung capacity thing they gave me and I am solidly at 200... when apparently average for my size and age is 439... Does asthma that comes on during pregnancy usually go away after you have the baby?  This is the question I'm obsessing over that the moment...).  I've been needing to use my rescue inhaler about four times a day... and that doesn't lend well to mastering the breathing described in the program.

I sat down with the bottoms of my feet pressed together on the couch, asked Paul, who was done studying and was cruising around cyberspace on his computer if he minded if I listened to it there, and when he said he didn't, pressed play on my computer.

Now I should begin by saying that I was already pretty excited about how things were going so far, since, during the wakeful parts of my sessions, baby would actually start wiggling about dramatically and moving back and forth.  If I could just stay awake... I told myself.  The relaxation techniques were amazing.

I began to listen and baby immediately started moving around.  I was sitting up, with my back straight against the back of the couch, head tilted slightly backwards.  I made it to the visualizations of the baby turning and asking baby to turn, at which point I felt the couch shudder slightly with the silent laughter that was apparently going on at the other end, and I fought the urge to throw something at my husband, who was apparently quite amused by the track (I had a feeling he would be).  I think it was the "asking your baby if there's a reason he can't turn" part that got to him.

And then I opened my eyes and the MP3 player had moved on to the next track.  I had made it.

"That was quick!"  I said to Paul.
"You were snoring for the last twenty minutes."  He informed me.

While sitting up.  I felt a bit like a hyno-failure.

I went to bed and yesterday evening, after much movement at night, began to feel a hard little head that had moved down from my ribs and was now pressing against the top of my hips, and little kicking feet giving non-stop blows to my rib cage.  I think baby may have turned (we'll find out Friday afternoon when they check via ultrasound).  To me baby still feels diagonal, but only barely (and with his head down).  And breathing actually feels quite a bit easier, I slept on my left side last night without suffocating (baby moving? or inhaler?  or both?).  So I'm cautiously optimistic.

A hypno-success, despite my hyno-failure?

Now if only I could stay awake while listening.  It's almost impossible to find a time during the day, since Paul leaves in the morning and comes back at dinner time, and at night I find myself exhausted and falling asleep.  And after trying it when the girls were playing I learned that Mommy listening to hypnobabies and laying on the couch is just too tempting (Let's poke Mommy's nose!  Oh Mommy, is your head a seat?!?!  Mommy, are you being Sleeping Beauty?!?!?!).

I'll find a way to make it work.

Now I just have to wait for my books to arrive!  Hopefully I'll be able to move on the the VBAC tracks, since it seems baby has turned!  And hopefully the CDs will be here with the actual program to night.  Six weeks to my due date.  Can I fit in a five week program?  Only if baby decides to stay put!