Yesterday was not what I expected at all.
I woke up with a headache.
Now that's not a totally unusual thing. I've had headaches since I was nine. I've had migraines since sometime around when I turned fourteen.
Having averaged at least four migraines a month (and sometimes that many a week) for eighteen years, that's somewhere around a thousand migraines. So I'm not a stranger to migraine pain.
What happened today was nothing like any migraine I've ever experienced.
At noon I emailed Paul on his lunch break and told him I was starting to feel pretty sick. He asked if he needed to tell them at work that he needed to come home and I told him no, I could make it through until five and I'd see how I was doing then.
An hour later I tried to call my doctor's office for advice but I couldn't form the words to tell them what was going on.
By the time I called Paul I was sobbing and could only get basic words out. I could tell him I was in pain and I thought I needed to go to the hospital, but that was it. Then I curled up on the floor of the kitchen and cried.
The EMTs arrived just as Paul got home. He'd called on his way because I wasn't making sense.
They transported me to the hospital. I could hear them making comments about "having to roll out for a headache." but I couldn't care much. I felt like my head was going to explode.
At the hospital I sat in a dark room for a long time, sobbing, and trying to explain that this wasn't a migraine, not like any migraine I'd ever had, and I've had many.
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being childbirth I gave the pain a 10, dropping at times down to an 8 and then shooting back up again.
I thought about the last time I'd been in the ER with a rusty old roofing nail sticking out of my foot when I was pregnant with Patch and how I'd said the pain that day was something like a 5 or a 7.
After hours on an IV the headache started to subside. They told me the MRI was normal. They ordered a cat scan and it came back as normal too.
I was relieved.
I am relieved.
And worried. Because if there isn't something there than what's causing all these symptoms. Why am I losing my hearing? Why does everything taste bland or like it's gone bad? Why is my face going numb? Why am I having trouble putting together simple words and forming sentences? Why are there dark shadows here and there in the middle and off to one side of my vision?
The list goes on and on.
I had written down the symptoms to show my doctor. I was thankful for that list in the ER when I was having trouble forming words.
After eight hours and a "headache cocktail" I was on my way home in a taxi (since waking up Maggie to get in the car to get me seemed like the worst idea ever).
It wasn't until after I got home from the hospital and was on the phone with my mom and she asked if it could have something to do with the contrast I'd been given for the MRI that I remembered that right before all the headache weirdness got really bad I'd noticed that the injection site was bright blood red and that my whole arm was turning red and itching too. But then my head had become all I could even begin to think about.
This morning I woke up to huge hugs from all the kids.
And I guess next I go about trying to figure out fitting in that doctor's appointment to get a referral to see the neurologist that everyone was pretty adamant I need to see.
Thank you again to everyone for all the prayers. I appreciated them more than you can imagine yesterday.