Friday, March 20, 2015

Not What I Expected... A Prayer Request

I've made the first three appointments of the day (four if you count dropping Paul off at work on time) and I thought I'd send out a quick prayer request/ update before I load all the kids back into the car to take Mae to her speech appointment.

After I dropped Paul off at work and Maggie off at the therapy center I braved the ENT office with Sadie, Patch and James.

To be honest, as I drove over there, I thought about how for about twenty four hours my hearing has seemed a little bit better and there hasn't been any ringing in a couple days.  Just watch, I said to myself, they'll say nothing is wrong.

I think I'm a little gun shy when it comes to all things head related because I've gone to almost a half dozen doctors in the last five years for the migraines, with my slurred speech and numbness in my face and the right side of my body, terrified, only to be told that it's just a migraine, it's fairly normal, I just have to learn to deal with it since not many medications are safe when you're pregnant or breastfeeding.

The audiologist saw me first.  I could tell right away that something wasn't quite right.  I was hardly hearing any beeps with my left ear and then when she started to talk and asked me to repeat what she was saying, I could only understand one or two words at a time before they would start to sound blurred and incomprehensible.  "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that one." became my refrain.

Then it was time to see the ENT doctor.  He came in and asked me questions and sat at his computer and looked serious.  He looked in my ears, nose, and at my throat and eyes.

Wearing Mae's headphones to block out noise...
It was the only picture that seemed appropriate.
And then he asked me if I have an ear that I feel is stronger and I said yes, my right ear and he paused and explained that my right ear actually has more severe hearing loss.  And then he went on to say that my hearing loss isn't typical and that he's very worried about the various symptoms, especially the hearing loss and dizziness and that he's concerned that I could have a brain tumor, "although not cancer" and that he'll be ordering a MRI right away because we need to investigate that possibility before we can even begin to look at anything else.

I sat there, bouncing James on my lap and hushing Patrick, who was whining because the Bubble Puppy game on the Kindle wasn't doing what he wanted it too and thought "well that wasn't what I was expecting."

I asked if maybe it was less likely to be a tumor because it started when Maggie screamed so loudly in my ear and he explained that a person could go into the ER for chest pain and it could just be indigestion, but that doesn't mean that they aren't having a heart attack a few minutes later when they walk back out to their car.

If it isn't a tumor it seems that the next step will be looking into Meniere's disease.

Now I have to wait for the hospital to call and schedule the MRI.  After the MRI I go back to the same office again.

It wasn't until I was walking out to the car that all the years of slurred speech and numbness and migraine auras came to mind.  I've spent so long being told they're nothing and believing that they're nothing that I didn't even that they could possibly be related until I was walking to the car and thought that they were probably something I should have mentioned.

Oh well.  I'll bring them up after the MRI when I go back to see another doctor in his office (who after writing those words and googling him I find has a special interest in head, neck and lung cancers...).

So I'm taking a deep breath and trying to keep this in perspective.  Because it's probably nothing, right?


  1. Oh Cam how scary! I'll definitely be praying.

  2. Hi Cammie! Visiting your blog for the first time, from the link on the Catholic Blogging FB group. Looking forward to reading your blog, and am sending prayers and hugs as you get all this medical stuff figured out.

  3. He is correct that the tumor angle must be ruled out first. You have prayers from here during this frightening time!

  4. Oh.dear.

    My uncle has Meniere's disease. Basically he avoids salt. So you may want to try that in advance of your MRI. Basically he feels off balance and dizzy all the time if he doesn't.

    I certainly hope the MRI comes back normal. I'll make sure to put you on my prayer list.

  5. Oh Cammie, your poor nerves! It seems like it is always something. Praying this is nothing!

  6. I am PRAYING that it is nothing but that also you find out SOMETHING so you can fix it. Being brushed off continuously is no way to live. Modern medicine can do better for you, Cammie. I am praying.

  7. Oh honey!!! You are in my prayers. This is a big deal and it's ok for it to feel like one. Wish I could bring dinner over!!

  8. Praying for you. No matter what is found this all sounds like a lot to take in. Praying for peace and that He holds you through it all, encouraging you gently and lovingly to Trust Him.

  9. Oh Cammie! I will be praying for you through all of this. Your poor heart must be so worried.

  10. We are adding you to our prayer list Cammie, and for peace for you as you learn more about this.

  11. Stay OFF Google. Google is your worst enemy at this point. I pray the novena to St. Peregrine each morning and include all the people I know who are battling any kind of illness (cancer or not). I'll add you to my list. And you are right, it is probably nothing.

  12. Many prayers coming your way!
    Also, MRI tip - make sure they give you earplugs, even if you already have hearing loss

  13. Oh Cammie, I am praying! I am so sorry that you are going through this, and with all the littles to think of- know of my thoughts and prayers!!

  14. I will definitely be praying for a quick and accurate diagnosis, as well as a speedy recovery from whatever-it-is, for you!

  15. Oh wow, I am praying. May momma Mary comfort you.

  16. I'll be praying for you, Cammie!

  17. Oh, are certainly in my prayers as you deal with all this. I know it must be so hard to wait for more information.

  18. I well remember the day I checked into the hospital for an MRI and at the top of the admission paper I had to sign was the doctor's diagnosis and reason for the test: "Suspected brain tumor." I almost couldn't sign the page. My test came back negative. About 30 years later, my sister's MRI did identify a tumor, "likely malignant and inoperable," but my brother-in-law chose the operation anyway. To the surprise of the doctors, it was non-malignant, and my sister lived years afterward, holding and blessing her grandchildren.

    The ways of God are not our ways, and doctors do not know everything. There is a reason my blog is titled: Do Not Be Anxious. It's because He said so. I'll be reminding Him or that, and His promises, tonight in my adoration hours, for you.


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