Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Turning Point for Worry

I've spent much of the past year wondering if I would ever stop worrying about this pregnancy (because even months before we found out we were expecting I was already worrying... and worrying... and worrying...).  I knew that the traditional twelve week sigh of relief that often accompanies the end of the first trimester, just wouldn't be coming along.  And passing fourteen weeks, that terrifying date when we lost our previous little one, didn't make me feel any better either.

As twenty weeks approached I might have felt better, but those two second trimester incidences of spotting (note to self:  If you have to carry the toddler for more than five minutes, you will begin spotting within 24 hours...) took away any of the possible confidence that I had begun to feel.

Twenty weeks arrived, nearly a month ago and I felt slightly better.  Then week 22 arrived.

And I have to say that the past two weeks have been a worrying turning point for me.

I think it's probably because I can feel little kicks and backflips and hiccups around the clock, instead of just the delicate on and off fluttering of previous weeks.  Mae Bae sits on my lap and the baby gives her a good hard kick.  I take one hand off of the stroller to open the door and use my baby bump to gently push one side of the handle as we walk forward and the baby is suddenly executing a gymnastics routine to let me know that he or she very much felt that encroachment against the bump.

It helps that the twenty fourth week also brings about the time period when the hospital would actually try to save the baby if I were to go into labor.  Just knowing that helps me relax a bit more than I was last week.

I am finally beginning to relax and trust that things are progressing as they should (I think I'll relax even more if the doctor's appointment goes smoothly upon our return to Florida... when we'll also discover if our little one is a boy or a girl!).

Now to survive the whirlwind month that lies ahead.  In a month Paul will be back in class and we'll be a second year law school family.  I can guarantee one thing in the coming weeks.  I will not be doing any heavy lifting!


  1. I'll keep praying for you guys until he's safely in your arms...

    (oh yeah, I think it's a boy :-)

  2. Cam, your story sounds so much like my daughter, who is due almost exactly when you are. She was diagnosed, after spotting, with hematomas (perhaps caused by violent vomiting with a stomach virus), was warned not to lift anything, and was on bed rest for many weeks.

    I wonder if you could possibly have had a hematoma on/around the placenta?

    So glad you have reached this milestone; we have started to breathe a little easier, as well.

    God bless!


  3. Prayers going up from your servant, a seminarian.

  4. I will have your intentions in mind for tonight's rosary. I, too, mourn the loss of a worry-free pregnancy, but I do thank God for the naive pregnancy he gave me before my miscarriage and for the successful pregnancy after.

    I guess what we will both be wondering is, does it get any easier with successive pregnancies?

    May God bless you and your beautiful babes :).

  5. Oh, my heart aches at the thought of your situation! I know that feeling too well. But just keep telling yourself: God is in control and no matter what it's His plan. I will be praying for you and your little one. I also wanted to tell you that Heather nominated you for an award on my blog: http://www.crafolic.com/2012/07/two-more-awards-help-me-nominate-other.html It's very well deserved!!!
    Take care of yourself and God Bless!

  6. Thanks for your prayers...I will keep you in mine...miracles happen every day! THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

  7. It is so hard to not worry. I'm having such a hard time actually picturing bringing a baby home. I went to 41w5d last time and there were no signs of any problems and yet my daughter died 2 days after birth. I know that it was a fluke type incident but it makes me near impossible to picture a happy ending.

    Movement is reassuring though and this kidlet moves so much more than hi or her sister did and I'm grateful for that because it does tone down the worries.

    Prayers for a healthy pregnancy and baby for you!


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