|First reaction to the news...|
The wind is whipping around the house outside. Another storms on it's way if the weather man hasn't changed his mind since late last night.
And it looks like I have three babies, suddenly sick and showing various manifestations of the flu. I know there's a good chance that I'm next because, because while I was asked three times during the combined seven days that I spent in the hospital if I wanted not just a flu shot, the pneumonia vaccine and a handful of others they don't normally give out, ultimately the vaccines were overruled by the doctors, over and over again, because I guess I'm considered to have compromised immunity. Which doesn't bode well for not getting sick when I'm surrounded by sick little hooligans.
So I was already preparing for a long day with the babies while Paul was at school until late into the night. And then I turned on my computer... and felt tears welling up.
My instinctive, reactionary first thought was that I just knew this day was going to be a bad one. And that nothing could be worse than this (remember that's just my honest, knee jerk reaction, not how I logically think of what's going on). Because if you haven't noticed, I started the day in a pessimistic sort of mood and it might take a few minutes more to wrestle it around into forced optimism.
I know, I know.
"It's all for the best."
But I've heard that many times at various moments, all of which were very sad, and somehow it doesn't make it any less sad now, does it?
When I hear "it's all for the best" I think of the many times I heard it in the hospital last year in association with fetal abnormalities and so it's really better this way, which made me want to sock somebody in the nose.
I know that people mean well, but really... "It's all for the best" doesn't make very sad moments any easier, and I'm okay with doing away with the statement once and for all.
Say that we'll be alright because the Holy Spirit is guiding his Church through the trials and tribulations of the twenty first century... but let's not pretend that this isn't a sad moment for many of us.
Pope Benedict XVI is the only Pope I've ever known as a Catholic. And I think he's been a pretty awesome one at that. If he says he has a good reason to step down then he has a good reason to step down.
I'm still sad about it though.
I'll still be storming heaven, along with all the rest of you for our beloved Pope as he goes into retirement and for his successor who has yet to be elected.