The "Extreme"

It's raining Anonymous comments these days.  Here's today's winner:

"Tell me your little girl is not dressed up as a nun. For Heaven's sake... Must everything be done to the very extreme?"

I have a feeling this is a drive-by comment and that the writer will never see my response and yet I can't help but answer.  After all I've met with this misconception before... and it couldn't be stomped out soon enough for my liking.  

Where to begin...  Let's see...  I could just link back to my past writings on this topic... after all, sometimes it seems like it's been covered ad nauseum.  But instead, I'll start anew today:

Hi Anonymous-

Welcome to my blog.  I can tell you're not a regular reader, because if you were, you'd probably remember that my two and a half year old began a campaign for a "Holy Baby" birthday party last spring, which developed into one request for a birthday present (that would be from the "Holy Baby" rosary DVDs... although you might think that's extreme too?  DVDs about the rosary?  The child should be watching Elmo!  What are parents thinking these days?!?!).  

I know it may be hard for you to imagine, because it surprised me a bit, but there was only one thing that her little heart desired and she let us know loud and clear:  A "Holy Baby" dress.  She lobbied for it.  She brought it up frequently.  She begged and pleaded.  I suggested Tangled and Dora.  After all, Tangled and Dora would have been a lot less work.  But she was adamant.  

And so, when it was clear that that was what she really wanted, and that it wasn't some passing phase, I got to work.  I sewed and sewed.  I found a few Nun accessories and took a print out of her favorite nun doll in to the bakery and explained that she'd been begging for a Holy Baby cake.  

The day rolled along, blazing hot like many June days in Northern California, but despite the heat she tore open the present and insisted on putting it on immediately, so she could wear it for her party.

I guess my family might seem a little "extreme" to you, if you're disturbed by a photo of a child with her hand's folded in a nun's costume.  Let's see...  We do pray the rosary together every night.  And we go to Mass on Sunday's.  My children have probably been to confession (accompanying me or my husband) more times than many Catholic adults.  We pray before meals.  And they frequently tackle me when I'm praying the Divine Office.  

And you'd never guess what she's already asked for, for this year's birthday present: this snood.  I asked her if she was sure.  I suggested something in pink.  She's brought it up for a couple of weeks though, a sure sign that she won't be changing her mind any time soon.  And so daily I will be hearing: "Mommy, for my birthday... I want a black and white snood!" for the next five months.  

Today at Mass she grinned from ear to ear when she saw a nun come down from the choir loft to receive communion.  

While we read about the saint's and her little children's Bible, and pray together, I am still surprised when she tells me that she wants to be a nun.   I'll admit that I've pointed out nuns when we see them, because of her love for her doll, but her fervent wish began and continues of her own accord.  Just as her own sweet whispered prayers come from her own two lips, so this wish is her own.  

Who knows if it will last?  I pray only that she finds the vocation that God is calling her towards.  So that she may serve in whatever way that she will be called to serve.  For now she seems to understand what she's supposed to be doing well enough.  She loves God.  She prays to him.  She talks about Mary like she's a family member that comes by the house every day.  She asks questions and absorbs the answers like a sponge.

Maybe what our world needs is a little more of this type of joyous love.  You call it "extreme," giving it a negative connotation.  I think passion is a much better word for it.  And I think that if we had more of this faith, like little children, and the love that pours forth from it, we might all be much, much better off.  

And maybe, just maybe, you should pause and wonder what it is about the sight of a cute, happy child with her hands folded in prayer, that brought about your reaction.  

I pray passionately that all my children will be given the same gift of faith that my oldest has.... and that we all may be granted it.  I pray that it lasts a lifetime, even if that means that more than once they will be certainly called "extreme."    

After all, there is only one tragedy in this life... not to become a saint.  And it seems to me that more often that not, the path to sainthood looks "extreme" to those looking on.  So let us love God passionately, like little children and pray that we too can become like these little ones, who rejoice in their Savior and love him with their whole hearts.  

"To Love Him"

Me:  "Who made you?"

Sadie:  "God!  God made me!"

Me:  "Why did God make you?"

Sadie:  "To live...."

Me:  "And?"

Sadie:  "To love mmmm... and to live in a town!"

We've been reading here Catholic Children's Treasury and the answer we were going for was "to love him" from the little Therese story she wants to read constantly.  She loves reading those books!  And they're causing her to ask so many wonderful questions!

And the Diagnosis is...

...something like Lactational Amenorrhea... but with anovulatory cycles, instead of an absence of cycles altogether.

Amelia (who has some great recipe's you might be interested on her Gluten free blog) made that suggestion yesterday and when I went in and began talking with my doctor she agreed that she believes that this is exactly what is going on.

Basically because I was 14 weeks along when I miscarried and then had another 11 weeks of retained "debris" with positive pregnancy tests, my body has something like 25 weeks of pregnancy hormones.  When I'm pregnant my milk supply does dip dramatically, after the D&C I did notice that it went back to normal (toddler normal, so nothing dramatic, but there was a definite increase).  So...  it look like this means that my body think that I'm nursing a newborn right now (or is just really confused about what's going on) and we've gone into anovulatory cycles as a result (maybe because the toddler doesn't nurse enough to completely stop everything?).

It will be kind of interesting to see how long this lasts since we don't even come close to meeting any of the criteria for ecological breastfeeding (obviously) at this point.  She nurses 1-2 times a day, in the morning and sometimes at night.  She still sleeps with a pacifier in a crib (this could be it's own post... we co-slept with Sadie... I expected to co-sleep with Mae.  Mae was not having it.  Mae needs her space.  And she needs a lot of it.).  In the past nursing has meant exactly 6 months of non-fertile time.  We are planning to wean in... around 6 months... although I'd imagine it won't last that long with the serious lack of nursing time.  I wouldn't think nursing 20 minutes a day would prevent ovulation for too long.

My poor General Practioner.  I like her a lot, but I know my teariness on the subject makes her uncomfortable!  She's a very stoic woman with a strong Eastern European accent.  She asked me when my OB had said we were okay to try again and I told her that I'd been to sooner is better. Her response was that that put a lot of pressure on me, but that the cardiology report says that I'm as "healthy as a horse" and that she think the biggest problem is (surprise, surprise) anxiety from the whole experience.  She said she'd really like to prescribe me Xanax, but that that wouldn't be a good idea since my cycles might restart at any time.  

Anyways, some time in the midst of this conversation I burst into tears and started sobbing hysterically (talk of the miscarriage in person does this to me... this likely confirmed her thoughts on the whole "anxiety about the miscarriage" thing).  I would have laughed when she said "You American women and crying..." if I hadn't been crying.

I am glad we found her, because she actually seems to have a firm grasp on how women's bodies work and that we can actually know things about them and our cycles.  When I said I've had two anovulatory cycles she didn't say:  "How can you possibly know that?"  She just nodded and made a note of it.  That's refreshing and I do feel blessed to have an OB and a GP that both understand how women's bodies work!

I am still getting blood work to check my thyroid, but she seems to think that everything, include the resting heart rate of 100-ish, is the result of stress from the miscarriage.

And so I guess now we wait and see.  At least she seemed to think that this should be very temporary.

I am ready to skip the next... oh... four or so weeks...  talk about anxiety.. I'm really dreading February 7th (the due date).  I'd like to fast forward past it... a couple of weeks.  I will just have to make sure we stay really, really busy that day...

The Answer to Yesterday's "Hazard a Guess?" post...

Most of you had an idea what I was holding in yesterdays "Hazard a Guess?" post.  I ended up holding back most of the responses (and publishing them this morning) after the first ten minutes because they were so overwhelmingly right, which makes me imagine than more than one of you would understand the acronym: POAS (which was actually the hint I gave along with the post on my facebook page).

First I'll clarify one thing:  I was not announcing that I have cancer (I'm guessing that answer was because of the snood?  If you'd like to read about headcovering, click here).  If I did have a horrible announcement of that sort it certainly wouldn't be in a picture with a smile, with my husband sneaking in and flexing.  But I digress... back to the original post:

The answer to the question is... 100 pregnancy tests.

Yes, 100.  I buy them in bulk from Amazon.  I usually only order 50 at a time, but since I've gone through 50 since October (that would be about 16 a month?  Ugh.) I decided to double this order and hope that I didn't have to order again until summer (or better yet, for like 2 years).  And as I mentioned, I'm really hoping that I'll be giving away at least half, if not like 99 of them (which would be the dream).  50 tests are $9.41.  I bought two packs (and the book Saint Catherine of Sienna by Sigrid Undset, which I've been wanting to order for months) to get the free Super Saver Shipping.

I have a pack of the blue ovulation tests too, but they just depress me, originally because they were hard to understand (the bottom line has to be darker than the top line, not just "there" like a pregnancy test for them to be "positive") and then later because they're blank all. the. time.  Completely blank.  Like not a drop of luteinizing hormone showing up.  Ever.

I should really be thrilled about the LH tests (not the blank part) because the package I ordered before my D&C did really speed things along (if anything that happened during the entire experience could have been called "speedy").

You see I'd wondered if, through everything that was going on, I could be ovulating, so I took the test and it came back positive. The next day I took another, because I'd found out about the whole "tests have to be super dark to be counted as positive" thing and wasn't sure if it had been dark enough.  This time the bottom strip was definitely darker than the top.  For some reason (this is where my addiction to taking tests comes in handy) I took another one the next day.  Still positive.  For a couple weeks it was positive.

I knew that was not how LH tests were supposed to work.  Which is what took me back to retaking a pregnancy test (I'd had 1 negative and thought I was done) and finding out it was still positive (everyday for weeks while I tried to find a doctor who would listen), which was the giant red flag (okay, first I was excited and thought maybe I was pregnant).

As we all know I wasn't and along with everything else that happened, it led to finding an NFP OB,  who immediately did the right tests, found the problem and ordered a D&C.  I think knowing that LH tests can come back positive if your pregnant is very good to know!

But back to the pregnancy tests (and the reason for giant quantity).

These past two months I've learned the meaning of the word "anovulatory."  It's not a fun word.  It had me on the verge of tears sometimes.  This month looks anovulatory, and when I actually thought back on last month, I'm pretty sure it was too.  Blank LH tests and about 10 days of my body "trying" to ovulate (I'll avoid being too graphic with too many details).

This means super long cycles and lots of time to test because the amount of time from when I "might" have ovulated is so far from when the next cycle starts.  And basically what it means, if you've never had it happen, is that from your bodies signals you think you've ovulated.  And then it signals (think Creighton method) that you've ovulated again.  And again.  And again.  If you've had an anovulatory cycle you know what's happening.  If you don't you spend a month baffled, wondering if you're body released 10 eggs, until you talk to a friend whose taken the Creighton class and explains what's going on and tries to calm your near hysterics (thank goodness for Martha!).

For those of you who've gone through this for any extended period of time:  I am so, so sorry.  It makes me a little crazy and it's only been two months.

I do wonder if it's linked to the Prometrium, because I did find various sites where women who'd taken it had an anovulatory cycle the next month.  But no one mentioned two (which had me right back in panic mode after briefly calming down) and there was a doctor who wrote in saying that it absolutely does not affect ovulation.

I am going back to my general practitioner today for the follow up to my cardiologist visit (my heart is 100% okay, with the exception of a resting heart-rate the went between 97-120 during the visit, which could point to a thyroid problem, but is within the range of "normal").  So I'm hoping I can convince her to refer me to my own OB, so that our insurance will cover the visit.  I'm a little worried, because any time I mention knowing anything about my cycle, the doctors I've gone to usually look at me like I'm insane, for example a response of: "How could you possibly know when you ovulated?!?!?!" in an annoyed tone.

And that, in one rather long post, is what's been going on.  I know I'm stressing out way more than I should and that I just need to relax (and I didn't even write the post I'd intended to write, which is about how much I hate buying pregnancy tests in stores, where the clerk more often than not acts like they feel sooooooo sorry for me... and it wasn't even the other post I intended to write about my lack of formal NFP training...).  But relaxing is easier said than done!  I doubt I'll get any answers today, but hopefully I can get a referral that sends us in the right direction (to my NaPro/NFP OB!).

Because frankly, I'm really ready to host that giveaway.  I don't think I've ever been more excited about the idea.

Hazard a Guess?

A order arrived from Amazon today.  I've been thinking of doing a post about the item I'm holding... but first I thought I'd see if anyone could tell what it was I'm holding (or wanted to hazard a guess). 

I'll give you one clue.  There's 100 of them.

100.  Because I tend to obsess.

But I will make you guys a deal.  If it works out and I don't have to use many of these, I'll do a giveaway with the remainders.  I have no reason to think I will be doing that anytime soon, and plenty of reasons to think I won't, but a girl can dream, can't she?

And in my dream world I'll be giving away most of them.

It took me a few tries to get a picture because someone kept butting in.

And for those who don't figure it out, I will do another post, tomorrow!

Another Great Response to "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus"

A couple of days ago I posted about the responses to the "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" video that's been making the rounds. This morning I saw another response on Aggie Catholics and I just had to share.  I have to say I've been pretty amazed by many of the responses that have come as a result of the first video.  This one is definitely worth taking a few minutes to watch:

My Bacon Cheddar Onion Spread

Those of you who saw my blog facebook status update, may already suspect that we eat a little bit too much bacon in this house.  It's not usually in large amounts (or so I tell myself), but I can't seem to resist it sprinkled on split pea soup, or potato soup (and okay, to be totally honest, my "sprinkles" likely would be what some people would call "large amounts.").  For those of you who missed the status update, I'll share it again: 

Yesterday Sadie and I were singing the itsy bitsy spider together when she began changing every single noun in the song to the word "bacon."  She finished the first round, smiled sweetly at me and said: "Mommy will you sing the Itsy Bitsy Bacon with me?"  And so we began again and she sang:

"The itsy bitsy bacon, went up the baacoooon!  Down came the bacon and washed the bacon out!  Up came the bacon, and dried up all the..."  A dramatic pause with a giggle and smile and then... "bacon!  Then the itsy bitsy bacon climbed up the bacon again!"  

Yeah.  I couldn't make this stuff up.  Anyways, this recipe, which I make on special occasions (it would be perfect for the super bowl) is something I came up with one day when I'd baked fresh bread, and wanted a spread to go with it.  Sometimes I also add 1 diced regular onion:

2 bars cream cheese

2 tbs garlic powder

2 tbs garlic, diced

¼ cup green onions, chopped

½ cup parmesan cheese

¼ cup mayonnaise

¼ cup sour cream

8 oz cheddar cheese, shredded

1 package bacon, cooked and crumbled

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well.  Place in oven safe dish (or bread bowl: I usually prepare a loaf's worth of dough and bake it in a pie pan to get a round loaf, and then cut out the center to make bowl for this dip!).  Bake at 350 for 10 minutes.  Enjoy with crackers or bread (it’s great on bagels the next day too!).  

You can adjust the garlic levels as you make it, because I do tend to like things that are very garlic-y!  

Finding One's Waist!

The location of my waist didn’t really matter when I was sixteen (and had the figure of a ten year old boy).  Or even twenty (with the same figure).  And if you’d asked me where my waist was I likely would have placed my hands just above my hips.  After all, we were in the midst of the era of low-rise pants (are we still?  I don’t pay enough attention to know these days) and I had a closet full of jeans that barely (or didn’t) cover my hip bones.  It wouldn’t have been so bad if the pants had been accompanied with longer than normal shirts, but at the start of the 2000s you didn’t see much of that and so there was often a midriff gap that was not easy to pull off if you were above a size 0. 

Which brings me to a brief digression:  I was watching the news a few nights ago and one of the reporters actually said that in fashion size 6 models are now considered “plus size models.”  I’m not kidding.  Just when you think that insanity has reached rock bottom, they plunge on by.

But back to my point: I had no idea where my waist was.  Pre-babies this wasn’t such a big deal.  Post babies it was something that I needed to figure out and figure out quickly if I was going to find anything that was vaguely flattering.  The problem was that I didn’t even know that there was a problem.  My waist had always been way down past my belly button, where my pants settled, and wasn’t that just where a waist was?

As I fumbled through post-partum dressing I began to figure things out: little by little, month by month and year by year.  Low rise anything, even with a long, tunic that covered everything, was going to make me look like I either had a beer belly or was still pregnant.  An empire waisted dress would mean that people were coming up to my husband at work, a month after I gave birth to Mae, and asking him in a whisper if we were expecting again already.

It was two of the skirts that I bought on clearance for something like $4 at Penny’s that pointed me in the right direction.  They came up to the point that I would later realize was actually my waist, some inches higher than I’d previously realized, and then flowed out easily.  They accented my actual waist, the narrowest point on my torso, and as a result were more flattering.  It didn’t matter if the muscles in my stomach, after two nine plus pound babies, were not what they once had been, because they were camouflaged by my skirt, rather than problematically drawing attention to a waist that was either too high or too low and therefore disproportional. 

The various trends of the moment, usually don’t fit to flatter this little secret.  But I have found one secret that helps some dresses that would otherwise not make the cut.  A wide black belt that I recently found at Target after my other belt finally kicked the bucket and was no longer useable.  It felt expensive buying it with a gift card I’d gotten for Christmas, and I found myself saying $16 for a belt?!?!?! but I new I needed to replace the one I had, and this one was stretchy and pretty and I had a feeling it would work.  It looks a bit like this. 

It's been a great addition to my closet and has revived a few outfits I didn't like wearing with my old, narrow belt.  Because it’s stretchy it slides perfectly to actual “waist” level and stays in place.  It gives some of my stretchy-knit is-she-or-isn’t-she-pregnant (like now when I’ not) dresses enough definition to wear without getting comments about where I’m going to put #3 when I take the girls on walks in the red wagon (it’s happened since we’ve been here). 

And that is what I wish I’d known a bit earlier when I was searching for a flattering fit.  The fashion world doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to make clothes that are absolutely wearable for women who’ve gone through puberty, so these tricks are good to know! 

Do you have any fashion secrets you’d like to share?  If you do I’m all ears!

The Best of the "Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus" Responses

I finally broke down and watched the "Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus" video this weekend, after seeing this post by Melody and thinking that if I was going to watch the responses to the video, I should probably watch the video itself too. Since something in me dislikes linking directly to the video, I'll link to this article by Jimmy Akin, which includes the video, along with an explanation about what's so wrong with it.

The original video was exactly what I expected it to be.

The responses I've been watching however, have been extra-ordinary and have exceeded every expectation I had.  And if you have any favorites that aren't here, please add them below!  It's bedtime here or I'd still be searching through all the videos that that first misguided piece inspired.

 

Edited 1/19/12 to add: Another great video response has been posted!

7 Lies About Homeschoolers

My Tuesday Morning Primary Rant

I didn't watch the debate last night.  At this point I'm too depressed by the idea that Romney is likely going to be the Republican nominee.

I'm sick of the endorsements and commercials that tell us that Romney has the "best chance of beating Obama."  Seriously?  I feel like we're being told:  "This is as good as it gets.  You might as well settle."  It's like telling a woman that she needs to marry some loser because she's probably not going to get a better offer.

And when has settling ever been a good thing?

I agree with Huntsman's earlier statement that Romney is reminiscent of a well greased weather vein, that I heard quoted yesterday.  He goes whatever way the wind blows to get elected.  I believe he would say whatever it takes to get elected.

I don't believe for a second that he would fight for the unborn if it wasn't convenient of the trend of the moment.

I've seen too many politicians that were solidly "pro life" sell the unborn down the river over the years to trust a guy with a record like this:

 

I hate that there's a good chance I'm going to have to vote for this guy in November.  Because will I vote for him over Mr. A-Baby-Born-Alive-Should-Be-Put-In-A-Closet-To-Die.  You bet.

I'll admit that every time I see him ahead in the polls I want to yell at the TV "Why?!?!?!"

You all know I'm for Santorum.  But really anyone who's on that stage would be better that "settling" for this guy because he "might" win.

Evil and Abortion. The Story of One Clinic.

As Catholics we know that there's a war going on between good and evil and that we are the Church Militant, here on earth, battling for our souls.  Very rarely do we see things that are so clearly evil that there's really no other explanation for what's going on.  The abortion clinic in Rockford was one of those instances.  I'd heard stories and seen video clips of the craziness in the past and every time the word "demonic" came to mind.  Matt Archbold has a great post on the story, and an ending (at this particular mill at least) that I hadn't heard, but definitely wanted to share.

Sadie's Sewing: Her First Project

We finally got around to buying batteries for Sadie's sewing machine yesterday.  When I opened my embroidery machine she saw it and instantly asked if she could "try it out."  A few seconds later I saw her eyes widen as she remembered and said:  "Where's my sewing machine!"  It had been hiding in my sewing room, because I never seemed to remember to buy the enormous D batteries it takes.  So Paul picked some up after Mass and we finally found a screw driver that would open the battery cover and then Sadie was off and sewing.  She picked the fabric from a pile of felt that I have (Surprise!  She chose pink!) and I helped guide the fabric from the back, while she worked the peddle and guided it from the front.  

We did learn that she has a lead foot.

Here's her first completed sewing project.  A little felt bag:

She kept trying to wear it like a hat, or use it as a puppet, while avoiding all pictures!  

Do now I think we'll be doing a daily sewing lesson while Mae is asleep.

Mae, the climber, also seems determined to sew.  She climbed up on the table in the dining room when I was in the kitchen getting ready for lunch and sat next to my sewing machine.  Then she found a spool of thread and attempted to put it on the machine (correctly), while fiddling with the hand crank.  That climbing incident motivated me to organize my shelf and get all the sewing machines into the bedroom!

The Machines!

The Aluma Wallet Scam... and Avoiding Telebrands...

I don't usually get sucked in by infomercials, but occasionally it happens and when it does, it almost always ends badly.  I should learn.  There was already the debacle when I ordered one of those "lose three size" shapewear sets after Mae was born (I've found shapewear can really help after a c-section at holding the scar in place while it's healing), only to find that the thing was about as effective as a plain piece of cotton, and 10x less comfortable.  But today I saw the Aluma Wallet and Paul and I both turned to look at each other, because we're both pretty hard on our wallets.  Paul's credit and debit cards are always getting destroyed in his wallet, and my wallet is pretty tattered.  And it was a buy one get on free deal with free shipping according to the infomercial for the grand old price of $10.99.

$5 for a metal wallet that supposedly has lots of space?  That's metal and shouldn't fall apart?  I could use that!  I mean, I could count this as our Christmas presents to each other?  Right?

So... I went online and began the order process.  I'll admit I was a little suspicious when they immediately asked for my credit card number, before even giving product info.

I just wanted two wallets.  They asked if I wanted to add the additional wallet.  I checked yes.  They asked if I'd like the additional wallet to be a different color.  I said yes again (because Paul was hoping for a black wallet).  They asked if I'd like to upgrade the wallets for $4.99 to save $6 on free shipping.  I said yes.

Suddenly a screen came up that thanked me for my order and told me I'd just spent $67.90 on five new wallets.  Um.  No.

I looked for "cancelation" information.  Nothing.  I went back to the original website and found a phone number to call, that led me to another phone number, which I was instructed to call on Monday.  I gave it a try and maybe because it's almost Monday in India, I got through.  I explained the problem.  The very nice man, who I reminded myself was not at fault here, told me he would put a note that my order needed to be modified before it was sent out, but that he couldn't cancel it because apparently "due to the high volume of calls and demand for this product" my order wasn't "in the system" yet.  I could call back on Wednesday to "modify" my order.  I clarified that I didn't want to modify it.  I wanted to cancel it.

He noted that I wanted to cancel it, but said I'd still have to call back on Wednesday to tell them again that I wanted to cancel it.  This made me a bit uneasy.  Are they just hoping that I'm not going to call back?  Or are they going to charge my card and ship the things out because I hadn't called in time, and then charge a shipping and re-stocking fee?  I will be calling back.  But I wanted a little more insurance to make sure I wouldn't be paying seventy bucks for a handful of $5 wallets that we don't need.

I called my credit card and told them what had happened.  There was one thing they could do... freeze the card.  And so my card is frozen for the time being.  

My guess is that these companies rely on people being unwilling to make the multiple calls to cancel the order.  They hope that we'll just let the extra $50 go, and they make big money that way.  So I would strongly, strongly, encourage people to shop elsewhere.  I definitely will be avoiding Telebrands, the company that sells Aluma Wallet, in the future.  And I'd say they definitely deserve a Sadie (and Mae Bae) frown.

The dishonesty in this transaction was just a little much for me.  And if they're swindling people in this way, it makes me think that they probably don't have a great product whose performance speaks for itself.

Go Pats!

Are you guys watching the game tonight?

I think Paul's facebook status update from earlier in the week pretty much sums it up:

"OK I like you Tebow, but your season ends next Sunday."

So the game is actually tonight (not Sunday), so hopefully Denver's season ends tonight (and the way it's going it should!).  

Grumpa's team already won tonight. 

What's going to happen if Grumpa's team plays Daddy's team in the Super Bowl?!?!?!

That could be fun...

Here's a Sadie super bowl blast from the past.  It wasn't a good day for our team:

Aurora and Snow White...

Imperfect Prayers

Sometimes I find it hard not to giggle at prayer times in our home.  The girls have the expectations for the rosary down pretty well.  They are both usually pretty quiet throughout this special family time, although it probably helps that our family rosary is usually prayed around 7pm, which is bed time, so they're already sleepy, if not dozing by the last prayers.

However, in our house, daytime prayers are something else altogether.  Building the little altar/prayer area by the kitchen, was one of the best steps I've taken in making daily prayers a more accessible part of our daily life.  After all, I'm walking into the kitchen all day long, and walking by our little altar is a great reminder to pray.  But there are still challenges.

My prayers go something like this:

I'm almost always late beginning our morning prayer.  Then I announce, to the girls who are usually playing in the living room at this point, that I'm going to pray if they want to join me.  This sends Mae Bae tearing into the room at a run.  She jumps on my lap and pulls at my veil or snood.  She pulls them off.  She tries to put them on her head.  She attempts to replace them on my head, usually several times.  If I put it back on, she pulls it off again, and wears it around her neck like a scarf, while sprinting out of the room.

I give up on any type of covering and begin praying.  Mae Bae comes back, because she has prayer radar, and attempts to stand on my lap while pulling up to climb to the top of the altar, by holding on to the top of the dresser.  I put her down next to me.  She throws herself at the altar and swipes an icon and a crucifix, and then sprints into the other room.

Sadie wanders into the room and replaces a chaplet that Mae apparently also took with her.  She kneels for a moment and then goes and brings back an armload of toys and dumps them next to me and begins spreading them across the dining room floor and into the kitchen.  Mae runs back into the living room and I hear a crash that is thankfully not followed by a scream.  I listen for footsteps.  Mae Bae comes back into the room and plops down on my other side, eating a handful of cereal.  She looks up to make sure I don't have a veil that needs stealing and then checks to make sure the drawer that I keep my prayers and religious books and headcoverings in, is closed.

If it's not closed she pulls out anything she can reach with a squeal while and spreads dupioni silk snoods and lace around the room, with glee.

Somehow, amidst all of this, I've managed to pray morning Lauds.  Sometimes with more focus than others.  Sometimes with a few giggles at the insanity around me, because if I didn't giggle I'd likely be pulling out my hair and so I choose laughter!  After all, Lauds are joyful prayers of praise!

I am less consistent with afternoon and nighttime prayers (the divine office prayers I mean).  But I've been making a point to say a certain novena, as I've been asking for Saint Philomena's prayers and intercession lately.  This may be the year of novenas for me (although I still do miss some days and then begin again!)!

A certain blog that I recently discovered has been quite inspirational to me in my prayer life, however.  Daria writes Coffee and Canticles, a blog about the Divine Office, and a particular post, "Worth Doing Badly" is a wonderful reminder of the importance of the prayer, even when the circumstances for praying are less than perfect!

And I have to say that when I peer ahead and imagine the future (God-willing!), I know that there will likely be plenty of time for more peaceful prayers!  I imagine in those days I'll miss the noise that todays prayers inevitably bring!  So for now I will embrace these days of "imperfect" prayers, knowing that they are very much a part of my vocation at the moment, as the little ones learn amid the noise and silences that our day should be filled with the joy that comes from a constant conversation with God.

Random Bits

Sadie is currently, kneeling across the room from me, praying the rosary along with her Holy Baby DVD, in her full "Marie Therese" regalia.  She's told me about five times today that she's going to be a nun, and begged me to search for her nun outfit and help her squeeze into the veil, which is now way too small, before asking to watch her "Marie Therese" movie.  I know the movie she means.  She wants to watch "Therese", but since I've noticed her terror of me dying seems pretty directly linked to us watching that movie, we're avoiding it until she's a bit older.  

 We've continued reading the Catholic Children's Treasure Box books, which talk about Saint Therese praying a lot, and apparently are having quite the effect.  Today's book talked about Therese kneeling while she prayed and now Sadie is enthusiastically kneeling, which I hope will carry over into Mass (I bet it would if I let her wear her nun outfit).

In other happy news, January is apparently a good month for headcoverings!  I was nearly finished with the six headcoverings I'd been working on for orders earlier this week, when six more headcoverings were ordered yesterday!  If this keeps up, I might actually be able to start paying off bills, which would make me very, very happy!  I went and bought three yards of fabric for my most popular snood, after selling out a second time, and was happy that the print was still in stock.  Three yards makes around nine snoods, a few convertible headcoverings, with enough fabric left over headbands too, so that ought to keep me busy for a while!  Sadie's even asked for a black and white snood, one of those rare instances where something doesn't have to be "Pink!!!!"

To stress the importance of "pink" in her life at the moment, I'm slightly surprised that she hasn't demanded a pink "Marie Therese" dress.  When she saw the red velvet dress I'd made for Christmas morning one of her first comments was:  "I wish it was pink!"  Ah yes.  There is an awful lot of pink in our world these days!

We're also readjusting to Paul being back in school.  I think this is the craziest semester in law school and so we've pretty much said goodbye to seeing much of him until mid-May.  Thankfully living on campus means that we at least get to sit down to lunch and dinner as a family, and I've very grateful for that!  I think we've just about adjusted to the new "normal" at the moment!

As long as we don't have any more disasters!!!  

Making it Right

One of the problems I've run into as a craftsperson, particularly this morning, is quality problems with the parts that I use when coming up with a new creation.  It's hard to know how a bead will stand up to the test of time, when it looks like a perfectly normal little piece of glass... and thus I got my first negative etsy review this morning... for beads that were apparently prone to chipping.

I winced when I saw which item it was for.  It was a chaplet that I was sure I had in stock back when it was ordered.  In fact, I know that it must be somewhere, in this apartment, right now.  I didn't sell it.  It should be with all the other chaplets.  Yet, when it came time to ship it had vanished.  I went to my bead stash and found that there weren't enough beads to make another... and I rushed Michael's where I was told by a grouchy woman that if the beads weren't on the floor they weren't in the store.  I went over to Joann's and found beads that looked identical... but that were made by a different company.  They looked perfect for the project and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Apparently, however, they chipped very quickly...

And that brings me to my next point, which is:  If you ever have a problem with anything I've made, please let me know!  I would love to make it right!  As it is I plan on searching for some more sturdy black beads today and sending another chaplet out to the disappointed owner.  I stand by what I make and if you have a problem with something you've ordered from me, give me the chance to fix it!  If a headband is too large or to small, or a headcovering isn't to your liking let me know and we'll come up with something that you do love!  If a rosary or a chaplet breaks or has some sort of problem, I'd love to fix it!  I can't do anything if you don't tell me, but it's really important to me that you'd happy with the product you receive.

After all, these are the products that I love crafting, and also the businesses that support our entire family at the moment (I am officially the sole breadwinner now!  Which can be a teensy bit stressful since I can only really get anything done when the girls are sleeping!) and so it's especially important to me that the things I make me high quality!  If you have had a problem feel free to email me at thiswomansplace@gmail.com so I can fix it!  And thank you for all of you who have ordered from my shop!

Mae and the Apple

Today was better than yesterday.  We woke up to blustery gusts of wind and while the forecast was still warm, the girls and I were able to sit inside and watch the storm clouds and the trees being whipped back forth by the wind and pretend that it was winter (although I do believe the air conditioning still kicked on several times today).

Sadie woke up and announced that her tongue was "all better," until she actually stood up, quickly swallowed the Tylenol I had for her and looked at me sadly before saying:  "I think I need more medicine."  As long as I remembered to give her the next dose exactly on time, she was fine.  If I was half an hour late she would be dissolve in tears at the drop of a hat for the next hour.  That was plenty of motivation not to forget!

Lately Sadie has been very into "saving" Mae Bae.  I can be in the kitchen washing dishes and know that if Mae Bae is doing something even vaguely naughty, Sadie will race into the kitchen to give me updates. Today I'd just walked from the dining room to the living room when Sadie followed after me and said something along the lines of:  "Come quick Mommy!  Mae Bae is dying!!!!"  Since I'd walked by Mae all of five seconds earlier, I was fairly sure she was just fine.  But I turned and walked the ten steps back into the dining room and instantly understood what she meant.  Apparently Sadie takes her fairy tales very seriously.

Nani had just sent the girls a big box of presents, and Sadie had instantly changed into the Aurora PJs that were in the box, while I'd put Mae in the Snow White PJs.  Now Mae, dressed in her Snow White PJs, was in the middle of the dining room eating an apple.  And for the rest of the day anytime Mae Bae went picked up an apple Sadie would repeat her announcement.

On a different note, I am really, very glad we took Sadie in to be seen yesterday.  While we were at the hospital the doctor told me what the healing process for a hurt tongue looks like, and what to watch for and I have to say that if he hadn't described it, I would have been totally and completely panicked today.  I will be so, so, so very happy when this particular ouchie is completely healed.

Now to get some sleep.  In half an hour it will be tomorrow.  I sewed six snoods tonight, so at least I feel like I got something done after the girls went to bed!

Tylenol...

Sadie's looking quite a bit more cheerful after our morning ER visit (thanks to Tylenol).

It's nice to see her smiling again!

Sadie's Trip to the ER...

What a morning!  I'll begin with a warning that there is quite a bit of blood in this post...  So it may not be for the squeamish.

It all started out so perfectly.  We have the Catholic Children's Treasure Box book series and have been doing "school" a bit more formally lately.  Sadie was pretty thrilled to discover that the first story in the first seven books is about Saint Therese, and has been enthusiastically learning about her favorite saint.

We began our day with an early morning walk.  We walked a mile to a park bench, sat and had a snack, and I read to the girls while they ate their rice cakes.  Then we headed back to the park, where Sadie played in the sandbox while Mae Bae handed me handfuls of wood chips (a favorite activity).

And then, because it's a pretty warm day with a forecast of 81 degrees, I let the girls get into their matching pink bathing suits and set them loose in the water park.  We were the only ones there and they had a great time playing and splashing in the water, and I was happy that it meant I wouldn't be bringing to sand covered girls home to the apartment.  There was one spot in the middle of the water park though, that was slick and both girls slipped there several times before and I'd warned them to be careful... and then it happened.  Sadie slipped and hit her chin on the ground.  I ran across the park to her, and as she pushed herself up I saw blood pouring everywhere.  Puddles of blood.  I thought that she'd knocked her front teeth out, but quickly saw a large gash where her top teeth had gone through her tongue.

I managed not to get sick or faint and began to try to figure out what to do.  Paul was across town at the court house and I didn't have a car.  The ER was three miles away.  Blood poured everywhere as I scooped her up, grabbed a towel, put her in the stroller and put a fighting Mae in the stroller, vaguely realizing we were all covered with blood.

Sadie cried and told me that she didn't want the blood getting on her princess bathing suit tutu.  I told her I'd wash it and marveled that she was worried about one of her "princess dresses getting dirty" even then (she's very careful with them).  Thankfully just as I got the girls in the stroller Paul called and I told him we were going to the ER.  The bleeding had slowed though, and I didn't think we needed to call 911.  I rushed home and put a very pale Sadie in regular clothes, changed Mae Bae and packed some books and snacks in a bag, anticipating a wait at the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and were quickly seen.  Everyone was wonderful.  When the first nurse saw Sadie I think he doubted how bad it could be, because she was sitting calmly on my lap, and in fact, I was beginning to doubt it too (the pictures doesn't really do the wound justice, because her tongue isn't at quite the... gapping... angle that best shows the hole...).  Then he asked her to show him and pretty quickly brought us back to the doctor.  Sadie showed everyone, and tried to curl her tongue so that they could see the bottom of it.  Ultimately she did have to be held down for them to make sure the bottom wasn't badly damaged (it wasn't).

The doctor who saw us was actually the very nice doctor who saw me when I was so sick after the miscarriage.  He gave us lots of instructions on what to do and said not to hesitate to bring her back if my instincts told me it was getting worse, although he expects that it will heal nicely.

And so we are home.  Sadie and Mae sister both enjoyed strawberry Popsicles (I see a lot of Popsicles in Sadie's future) and Sadie is feeling better after the generous dose of Tylenol we were told to give her.

We're taking the day off of doing anything and watching princess movies.  Today has been eventful enough already!

"Three Boys and Three Girls..."

Sadie Quote (while praying last night):  "God... Dear.. New Baby......   Three boy and three girls!.... Three boys and three GIRLS!!!!"

So she's becoming more ambitious by the week.  She also patted my stomach and announced that there was a new baby in there.  I think the child just assumes that I'm pregnant 365 days a year.  And apparently she's now wishing for sextuplets.

Well... at least she's not totally against brothers any more...  that's a relief.

On a Different Note...

This is a little different than what I usually write about, but the area in question is near and dear to my heart, and the topic shows the craziness of over the top government regulation.

This clip below about the county that I grew up in (if you watch the entire three minutes it gives statistics at the end about the various industries that have collapsed and the unemployment rate which stands at 20%). The same agency in this clip, that's been harassing farmers over tiny streams, refuses to do anything about the massive environmental damage that's being done in a neighboring county by pot growers.

One state congressman's aid that I heard speak before we moved had questioned people at the agency and were told that they weren't doing anything about the complete destruction of the forest (think bulldozers and no sewage disposal, alongside what is basically becoming a small city of people) because the people there "have guns."  The ranchers likely have guns too.  But the ranchers don't begin firing their guns in the air whenever government officials show up.  The growers do.  I have a feeling that if the ranchers were acting the way the growers were, the outcome wouldn't be the same and the government would crack down hard on them.

Over the years I've seen some amazingly bad environmental decisions being made when they're being made by people across the country who don't have an understanding of the eco-system they're supposedly "protecting."  The most disturbing for me was the injunction that was granted against land owners so that they wouldn't be able to log the timber that was burnt after a fire.  This meant that went another forest fire swept through a few years later the dry trees were still standing there, perfect kindling for the flames.

Or, on a smaller level, each year it was upsetting to see the geese and ducks lay their eggs along the river in spring near my family's home.  Then they'd decide thousands of miles away whether it was a dry year or a wet year and artificially flood the river to recreate what they believe would have happened if the dam hadn't been there.  I have a feeling what would have happened naturally wouldn't have been tens of thousands of square feet of water rushing down all at once and destroying the nests of many of the birds.

I'm all for being good stewards of the land we've been entrusted with.  However I haven't seen many good decisions being handed down from people who have no understanding of the places they're making decisions about.

Anyways, here's the clip on the power struggle going on in Northern California:

 

On Shyness and Snobbery

I’m shy.  It’s probably hard to tell from reading my blog because, sitting when I'm alone in a room typing a post (or watching my little ballerina dance along to a ballet DVD) I share a lot of details about our lives.  But face to face, in person (and particularly in groups) I’m incredibly introverted. 

In college I spent a lot of time trying my level best not to be shy.  I tried to be someone who preferred to go out with friends over sitting at home with a good book… but it never really took.  It was an enormous effort.  It just wasn’t who I was.  It was an exhausting act, and it took quite a lot of energy to play the part.  

But, still I tried, partly because I knew the label that shyness could easily earn me:  Snob.  It was an insult I’ve heard not infrequently throughout my life, as shyness is often misinterpreted as some sort of superiority by people who didn't know me, and who, for whatever reason, decide that my general quietness must come from the worst possible motive.  My silence must mean that I think that I’m so super-special and as a result I just don’t want to talk to people (or some-such rather skewed logic... as is often the case when we go out looking for the worst in people). 

Of course, the shyness melts away pretty quickly when I’m one on one with someone.  Or even in small groups where I know everyone.  But it takes more than five minutes to get to know someone that well, and in that amount of time the label can be given and can stick. 

One of the key differences between introverts and extroverts is how they recharge.  An extrovert is energized by being around people.  An introvert is energized by being alone.  And to be honest, I’ve needed a ridiculous amount of time to recharge these past five months (just think... five months... a move across the country and five trips to the hospital) and to just process everything that’s happened. 

I must admit that I’ve grown more comfortable and secure in my introverted nature in the past six years.  I’ve realized that I don’t have to pretend to be someone that I’m not, and that it’s okay to be quiet when I don’t have something that needs to be said. 

However, I've also realized, lately, that wearing dresses and headcoverings probably doesn't help the “snob” situation.  Not only am I quiet… not only do I keep to myself… but now I stand out like a sour thumb.  It’s easy to make assumptions about both the headcoverings and the dresses.  It can, apparently, lead people to wonder if I think I’m “better than everyone else” (By the way, the answer is a very adamant No!!!!). 

I’ve written extensively about my odd choices, but to elaborate here, I cover my head for a variety of reasons, the foremost of which (in my everyday life), is that it reminds me to pray more often.  The skirts are, in a very similar way, a personal reminder of my vocation, and a reminder to embrace my femininity.  If these choices show anything it’s that I may need more reminders throughout the day than others do of what I should be doing. 

So if you know me (or know someone who’s shy, and let’s face it, you probably do!) try not to assume that my quietness means that I dislike you, or that it’s meant as an insult… it really just means that I don’t know you well enough yet to be totally at ease, and so I remain reserved.  And hopefully that's not a crime... right?

Little Christmas

Sadie and Mae both received a few books today for Little Christmas.  They were actually presents that I'd bought a while back and put away for Christmas, and completely forgotten about.  Sadie was excited to find two Gospel Coloring Books, that she immediately set to work coloring, and a copy of Therese the Little Flower of Lisieux.  Mae ignored her two gifts, which were My First Pictures of Christmas and My First Pictures of Mary (although Sadie loved them!).  

While Mae was taking her nap this afternoon Sadie and I sat down and read her Saint Therese book.  She loved it.  It's not the shortest book, and the pages have a lot of words for a three year old, but she was enthralled (I think it would have been too much if it hadn't been about Saint Therese!).  She asked me to read it again, when Mae Bae was awake, and I promised to read it before bedtime.  With the girls snuggled into bed we started reading and this time Sadie was full of questions and comments.  "Is that Therese?  What is she doing?" were questions frequently heard.  Followed by: "I want to be a nun!"  And then:  "What's Car-a-mel?  Is she in Carmel yet?" My personal favorite may have been this snippet of a conversation:

Sadie:  "What is that?"
Me:  "A kneeler."
Sadie:  "I want one."
Me:  "Maybe we'll have one in our house someday..."
Sadie:  "I want one.... and a yellow dress too!"

The little girl Therese who was kneeling in the picture was wearing a yellow dress.

Which brings me to Sadie's latest comment/question that follows me around throughout the day.  Whether she's looking at an American Girl catalog or turning the pages of her Saint Therese book she'll frequently ask:  "Do we have this fabric?" while pointing to a dress.  When I say no (because we don't have the exact fabric) she'll say:  "Yes we do.  We have pink.  We have pink fabric."  Apparently this is when I'm supposed to volunteer to run and get my sewing machine and whip whatever dress she's pointing to, right up.  Because she thinks I'm a little slow on the uptake she'll sometimes make herself a bit clearer by adding:  "Can you make me this dress?"

Her belief that I make pretty much everything does make shopping with her easier.  She doesn't expect things to come from the store... but I think she has a dozen or so projects she'd like me to get to work on!

(Book pictures from Magnificat links seen above.)

My Christmas Present is on It's Way

I am pretty excited at the moment.  My Christmas gift, given in the form of gift cards, and finally actually ordered is on it's way.  I knew when the gift card arrived exactly what it would be used for: a Brother LB-6800THRD Computerized Sewing and Embroidery Machine (the picture is from the Costco website).  I'd been eyeing the machine on Costco.com for months, but the machine definitely wasn't in our budget.  Yet I'd sew and imagine monogramed creations (I have a major weakness for monogramed anything).

Before the gift card I couldn't honestly justify the purchase though, simply based on the embroidery feature.  I can make the sewing machines I have now do everything that I need them to do.  Someday I hope to have a sewing machine counter (in the far off future) where they're all lined up and ready to be used at a moment's notice, and I can snap a photo to show on my blog.  At the moment I haul out whatever sewing machine is being used, and place it on Sadie's little play table (which is tiny!) and sew there.  It isn't the ideal work space, but it works for now.

At the moment my sewing arsenal includes a serger (and I've been so busy I haven't yet gotten to sit down and read the manual, and after my experience with my first ever sewing machine I've learned that for me, the manual is important when it comes to sewing machines!), a Bernina industrial sewing machine from the 1930s (I googled the type once and found the actual year!) that belonged to my great grandmother (it weighs about 70 lbs which makes moving it a bit of a challenge!  But it's so beautiful!), and a simple kenmore that belonged to my grandmother and my mom and that I tune up regularly, but that I'm in constant fear is just about to kick the bucket.  And what if all the sewing machines cease to run at the same time?!?!?! (although I realize that this is highly unlikely...).  My aim is to sew at least four hours a night, so that is surprising amount of wear and tear (as I learned with my first Singer, which died after a few short months of all night sewing... and created my phobia of having orders and no sewing machine to sew them on).

I think that fear will be completely eliminated now.  And so I am staring at the sewing machine website, at all the cool things that my new sewing machine will do!  It:

• Has 70 built in designs, 5 fonts, and 120 frame patterns!
• Has 67 stitches and 98 stitch functions
• Has it's very own USB cable (okay that makes me a little worried!  This will definitely be my most high tech sewing gadget!)
• Has on screen editing for the embroidery patterns
• And it speaks 16 languages (LOL!).

And then it has a lot of the things that I didn't really care about, but that will probably be pretty neat, like a push button thread cutter and a "super easy" bobbin winding system (okay, so I've never actually thought, "wow, it's really hard to wind that bobbin...").

Best of all, it comes with a 25 year warranty!

Now I just have to wait for it to arrive.  And I have to find someplace to put it.  The Kenmore spends it's spare time in a baby bassinet.... It looks like I have some organizing to do!

Another Night in the ER

I am glad to be home at the moment.  Last night was another night in the ER (but at least I got home earlier than in the past!).  After 48 hours of migraine I couldn't take it anymore and went in.  If you've read here long, then you likely know my distrust of hospitals and know that it had to be pretty bad to break down and walk through the ER doors.  And it was amazing.  One IV and the migraine was gone.  So now I have a referral to see a neurologist, because apparently three migraines a week is just way too many (yes, yes it is!).  I'm just glad to be able to think again and not to feel like I'm being stabbed in the eye!  It would be very nice if we could figure these out!

And really, I'm ready to be done blogging about health related anything!  I've had more trips to the hospital in the last six months than I'd had in my entire life before we moved to Florida!