First I'll clarify one thing: I was not announcing that I have cancer (I'm guessing that answer was because of the snood? If you'd like to read about headcovering, click here). If I did have a horrible announcement of that sort it certainly wouldn't be in a picture with a smile, with my husband sneaking in and flexing. But I digress... back to the original post:
The answer to the question is... 100 pregnancy tests.
Yes, 100. I buy them in bulk from Amazon. I usually only order 50 at a time, but since I've gone through 50 since October (that would be about 16 a month? Ugh.) I decided to double this order and hope that I didn't have to order again until summer (or better yet, for like 2 years). And as I mentioned, I'm really hoping that I'll be giving away at least half, if not like 99 of them (which would be the dream). 50 tests are $9.41. I bought two packs (and the book Saint Catherine of Sienna by Sigrid Undset, which I've been wanting to order for months) to get the free Super Saver Shipping.
I have a pack of the blue ovulation tests too, but they just depress me, originally because they were hard to understand (the bottom line has to be darker than the top line, not just "there" like a pregnancy test for them to be "positive") and then later because they're blank all. the. time. Completely blank. Like not a drop of luteinizing hormone showing up. Ever.
I should really be thrilled about the LH tests (not the blank part) because the package I ordered before my D&C did really speed things along (if anything that happened during the entire experience could have been called "speedy").
You see I'd wondered if, through everything that was going on, I could be ovulating, so I took the test and it came back positive. The next day I took another, because I'd found out about the whole "tests have to be super dark to be counted as positive" thing and wasn't sure if it had been dark enough. This time the bottom strip was definitely darker than the top. For some reason (this is where my addiction to taking tests comes in handy) I took another one the next day. Still positive. For a couple weeks it was positive.
I knew that was not how LH tests were supposed to work. Which is what took me back to retaking a pregnancy test (I'd had 1 negative and thought I was done) and finding out it was still positive (everyday for weeks while I tried to find a doctor who would listen), which was the giant red flag (okay, first I was excited and thought maybe I was pregnant).
As we all know I wasn't and along with everything else that happened, it led to finding an NFP OB, who immediately did the right tests, found the problem and ordered a D&C. I think knowing that LH tests can come back positive if your pregnant is very good to know!
But back to the pregnancy tests (and the reason for giant quantity).
These past two months I've learned the meaning of the word "anovulatory." It's not a fun word. It had me on the verge of tears sometimes. This month looks anovulatory, and when I actually thought back on last month, I'm pretty sure it was too. Blank LH tests and about 10 days of my body "trying" to ovulate (I'll avoid being too graphic with too many details).
This means super long cycles and lots of time to test because the amount of time from when I "might" have ovulated is so far from when the next cycle starts. And basically what it means, if you've never had it happen, is that from your bodies signals you think you've ovulated. And then it signals (think Creighton method) that you've ovulated again. And again. And again. If you've had an anovulatory cycle you know what's happening. If you don't you spend a month baffled, wondering if you're body released 10 eggs, until you talk to a friend whose taken the Creighton class and explains what's going on and tries to calm your near hysterics (thank goodness for Martha!).
For those of you who've gone through this for any extended period of time: I am so, so sorry. It makes me a little crazy and it's only been two months.
I do wonder if it's linked to the Prometrium, because I did find various sites where women who'd taken it had an anovulatory cycle the next month. But no one mentioned two (which had me right back in panic mode after briefly calming down) and there was a doctor who wrote in saying that it absolutely does not affect ovulation.
I am going back to my general practitioner today for the follow up to my cardiologist visit (my heart is 100% okay, with the exception of a resting heart-rate the went between 97-120 during the visit, which could point to a thyroid problem, but is within the range of "normal"). So I'm hoping I can convince her to refer me to my own OB, so that our insurance will cover the visit. I'm a little worried, because any time I mention knowing anything about my cycle, the doctors I've gone to usually look at me like I'm insane, for example a response of: "How could you possibly know when you ovulated?!?!?!" in an annoyed tone.
And that, in one rather long post, is what's been going on. I know I'm stressing out way more than I should and that I just need to relax (and I didn't even write the post I'd intended to write, which is about how much I hate buying pregnancy tests in stores, where the clerk more often than not acts like they feel sooooooo sorry for me... and it wasn't even the other post I intended to write about my lack of formal NFP training...). But relaxing is easier said than done! I doubt I'll get any answers today, but hopefully I can get a referral that sends us in the right direction (to my NaPro/NFP OB!).
Because frankly, I'm really ready to host that giveaway. I don't think I've ever been more excited about the idea.