Sunday, March 18, 2012

Some Big News

So… I have some news…

I’m going to lay out everything that’s happened so far and it will include words like “pregnancy” and “cyst” and “spotting” so if that makes you uncomfortable you might want to scroll on past this one.  The news is mixed, at least for now, although I'm hoping we'll have more and more happy updates as we go along.  Anyways…

I was waiting to announce this for a while longer, but the situation has turned into a prayer request sort of situation… and we received so much support in prayer in the past year that I’ve come to appreciate that more than ever.

In addition it doesn’t help that I’m horrible at keeping secrets….  And I’m horrible at blogging when I have a secret that I’m bursting to share.  I wrack my mind trying to think of some theologically interesting or crafty or current event type post, when I really have only one thing going on in my brain:  babies.  But if I start posting about morning sickness remedies that have worked for me or I write about the downward spiraling energy drain of the first trimester, you guys were bound to get a teensy bit suspicious and so I resort to cute picture posts where I didn’t say much, but was noticeably absent, because well… after three pregnancies I start showing about five minutes before I get a positive pregnancy test when the HCG hits my stomach muscles and tells them to give up their grand delusions of structure entirely (at least that’s what I always imagine happens… I’m sure that’s probably not the reality).

Two weeks ago (a week after the first positive pregnancy test, followed by all the negatives) the tests began showing positive after positive again.  I was more than a little nervous this time, but after five tests I called my doctor, who said she could tell I was nervous by the number of tests I’d taken, congratulated us, and said she wanted to see me the next day.

Sadie began talking about the baby and evaluating my stomach before the first test came back positive.  She was adamant.  “Mommy your tummy’s looking big.  There’s a baby in there.”  Followed by “Hi Mary.  Hi Mary Therese!  Do you want to play!” directed at my stomach.  Each morning she would literally stare at my stomach and tell me if she thought it looked bigger.  So the far off dream of keeping anything from the child was just that… a far off dream.

The ultrasound showed a “fluffy endometerium” but it was still too early to see the baby. But there was one other thing that showed up on the ultrasound that I spent the week wondering about.  When the ultrasound began the doctor had me go back and use the restroom again, after saying my bladder was too full (which I thought was odd since I’d just been there).  When I came back she said the same thing.  I told her I thought that was very strange, because I didn’t feel like I had a very full bladder.  She paused for a second, which was followed by the words:  “Is that a cyst?” 

And it was.  A cyst on corpus luteum.  Apparently the cyst itself isn’t that abnormal.  However the size (as we were to learn later) most definitely is. 

It was a good thing to know was there however, because it made me worry less when I’d roll over in bed and feel like I was being stabbed in the stomach.  That’s just what a cyst feels like, I’d think to myself.  And it also explained why, overnight, I looked six months pregnant with a fairly firm, round pregnancy bump.  Although I suddenly found that bump to be much, much less cute (that picture in the brown dress that’s me at 4 weeks.  My stomach just suddenly did that.  It has since gone down considerably.). 

These pictures however show what happened overnight.  The first one is one day (when I was already feeling like I had a bump, hence the pose).  The second picture is the next day (and since it seems so bizarre I'll repeat... still four weeks).  The difference felt insane:

When I went walking with one of my friends the next day she looked at me, glanced at my stomach and asked if I had any news to announce.  Four weeks pregnant and showing.  It felt insane. 

Next came progesterone and HCG blood tests that were 48 hours apart, since progesterone was a concern with the last miscarriage (that was fun with Sadie and Mae in their stroller!). 

I’d been feeling mildly nauseous and completely exhausted, which I took to be good signs, since I didn’t feel that way last time. 

Then yesterday rolled along.  It was a fun, relaxing day.  I found a double BOB stroller on Craigslist, used, for a very low price and somehow managed to email the woman back quickly enough to get it.  We drove out to a beautiful, wealthy neighborhood (the kind of neighborhood where each house has it’s own dock in the backyard) on an island to pick it up and then did a little exploring (while repeating: “So this is the pretty part of South West Florida… the part that isn’t just strip mall after strip mall…).  I went to lunch with a few girls from the law school who’d invited me to go to a café and had a lot of fun visiting with them.

I came home in a happy mood.  Until I visited the restroom and realized I was spotting. 

I went into panic mode, while working very hard not to panic.  I laid down, while Sadie asked if I was sick and force fed me raisins as medicine (apparently the only reason I could be laying down during the day is illness).   Paul asked if I thought we should go to the hospital.  I said no…  Until the back pain started.   And I went into super panic mode. 

We went to the hospital where I had my surgery, even though it’s the furthest away of the four hospitals in our area.  They were very kind there and reassured me that I definitely should have come in.  They drew blood and I was sent for an ultrasound.

The ultrasound showed a sac measuring 5 weeks 4 days (by my calculations from the LH surge it was 6 weeks, so 5 weeks 4 days is definitely possible!).  She couldn’t yet see a yoke sac or the baby, but said that at 5 weeks 4 days that it could go either way and that not seeing them wasn’t abnormal. 

Then she asked if I had pain on my left side. 

“Where the cyst is?  Yeah.  Sometimes.”
“Cysts.” She said, stressing the plural.  “And one of them is trying to burst.” 

She said that that shouldn’t be causing spotting, but it definitely would be causing pain.  The largest of them measured 7 ½ cm.  It made me wonder how big the other one had measured, since my stomach was looking dramatically smaller than it had before. 

The concern is apparently that it will twist my ovary around and cut off the ovarian artery.  Which sounds even more unpleasant than the words: “trying to burst.” 

It was also mentioned that they couldn’t rule out an ectopic pregnancy but that I shouldn’t worry about that.

Then it was back to my room to wait for more results. 

My HGC level was “really high” at 30,000 (which would match my date). 

Finally they said it was a threatened miscarriage and sent me home to lay down and rest as much as possible and not do anything that could possibly bring on labor.  I’m to call my doctor (I left a message before we left for the hospital) and hopefully see her tomorrow. 

So I’ve been moving from the couch to a bed of about a dozen blankets I made on the floor (because the girls love it when I do that) to the bathtub and back again.  The spotting did stop completely after that one incident yesterday, which must be a good thing.  And after spending today more or less laying down things seem to be going well, as far as I can tell.  I notice when I'm standing up and even sitting up I start to have a little cramping after about a half hour, but that it goes away really quickly when I lay down. 

As I wrote this I was very conscious that some people would think that this is something that shouldn’t be shared.  That women who might miscarry, should do so quietly and not burden the world (after all that was the jist of a few {and I’ll add it was very rare}… um… suggestions I got after the last miscarriage).  But, as you regular visitors of my blog have probably guessed, I’m not particularly expert at bottling things up and hiding them… and I, personally, can’t imagine hiding something like that forever.  Regardless of the outcome of this our family rejoices that a tiny soul has been created.  Of course I want to meet that tiny person and cradle the baby in my arms and watch as he or she grows.  And I just can’t imagine keeping that a secret (I can understand other people wanting to!  It’s just not in my makeup!). 

I appreciate the online community and support and prayers way to much to pretend like nothing is going on and everything is a-okay (although hopefully it will be okay and with every hour I feel a little more confident).  And so, for those who believe this is too much sharing, remember that you are perfectly free to click away.  And for those who don’t, and who pray, thank you so very much.  You’re prayers are very, very appreciated. 

I’ll keep my blog updated as we go along.  Hopefully this is just a little bump in the road on the way to a healthy pregnancy. 


  1. I will tell you, you are NOT the only one to show at 4 weeks! After having as many kids as I have had, each pregnancy I showed earlier and earlier. I was wearing maternity clothes by 2 months with my last one. Crazy! I am thrilled for you! Take it's not unusual to spot early in pregnancy around the time your period would normally be due. (I always did) Will the cysts interfere with the pregnancy at all? Did they say what they can do now? Or will they dissolve on their own? I had cysts found on my cervix when pregnant with child number 4, and they were able to freeze the cells during my pregnancy, safely. I will keep you and baby in my prayers!!!!!! :)


  2. Cam, we're praying that this is indeed just a brief bump in the road and that all will soon be well.

    God bless!


  3. First of all, congrats on your pregnancy!

    I miscarried twice in 2010 and didn't tell anyone. It was a very heavy burden/secret to keep and I regretted it very quickly, but felt like it was "too late" to tell my family. Now I'm pregnant again and have finally became open about it. I'm really glad I did. I don't think I would ever keep something like that a secret again. I don't think it was particularly healthy for me.

    I'm glad that you are sharing because it give me the opportunity to pray for you! I will keep you and your newest little one in my prayers daily.

  4. A. Congrats!

    B. *hugs* And don't let anyone make you feel bad about sharing... Its hard going through a "threatened miscarriage" and I can't even imagine how much so after actually having one. Prayers are good.

    C. Cysts seem to be very common in pg's right now. I can't tell you how many I've heard have them recently. And those who've had them burst say that they are painful.

  5. My prayer for you and your baby starts this minute. God bless from a mom and grandmom. Nancy S.

  6. Congratulations! Of course we will pray for you. Hope everything goes well though.

  7. You can count on prayers! I get those cysts regularly and it's scary how fast the belly puffs up. Painful, as well. May God bless you with good health during your pregnancy and protect your little one.

  8. Cam, I"m praying for you. St. Gerard, St. Ann, and Our Lady of Guadeloupe Please pray for Cam and her family.

    With my second child, I was two weeks late and had taken two pregnancy tests that came back negative before I finally called my doctor and went and got a blood test which confirmed I was pregnant but had low progesterone. So they put me on progesterone. A week or so later I was at work and I started spotting. I called my doctor, and she told me to go home, get rest, and increased the dosage of the progesterone until I could get in for an ultrasound.

    I stopped spotting the next day and by the time I went in for an ultrasound, I was really nervous. My husband had no idea how serious the situation had been, until, upon seeing the ultrasound of the 6wk 5day baby, the doctor said, "It looks like we've rescued the pregnancy. But you'll need to take it easy for a while to make sure, because we're not our of the woods yet." I thought my husband's jaw hit the floor.

    Anyway - That little 6wk 5day "rescued" pregnancy is now 7 years old, about ready to finish up second grade, has never met a stranger, and his older brother will tell you that he is a "pain in the neck". God is good!

  9. I have extremely polycystic ovaries (hence my single child) and am all too familiar with the pain of "cysts trying to burst", incorrect hormone levels, and bleeding / bedrest during pregnancy. I am praying for you and your new life...and have added your (first) name to the prayers of the people for mass at church. (Hope you don't mind a bunch of Anglo-Catholics praying for you!!! =D

  10. Congratulations! I saw your ticker on CAF a couple days ago and was wondering when you were going to announce it on your blog.

    I'm praying for your and your little one. Are they able to do anything about the cysts without causing a risk to the baby?

  11. I'm so grateful that you shared this, Cam... now you have so much extra prayer support. :) And we all do care about you, our sister in Christ, and want to know when that prayer is needed.

    I have a rather large cyst. I remember asking the ultrasound tech whether it was a problem or not and she said that it was possible but not probable... that many women have cysts that don't bother them. I'm praying that this will turn out to be the case with you. God's holy will be done. But no matter what happens, you are a mother again and I am so very, very happy for you! Congratulations!

  12. My heart is heavy to hear of what you're experiencing. I know, all too well, how difficult it can be.

    I have no words of comfort to offer, only prayers. May Christ's peace fill you and may you be given the graces to joyfully embrace His will.

    Pax, Lena

  13. Hi Cam,
    I don't think I would keep my pregnancy a secret, even if it only lasted 1 day :). I'm glad you talked about it so that I can pray about your little one. Oh, and have I mentioned how super excited I am for you???!!

  14. Oh Cam, we're all so happy for you! Lots of prayers from our family that your newest little one holds on tight. Take it easy and know that you have a big support system out here on the web, and we all care about you. Let us know how your appointment goes!!

  15. I knew it!! When we saw you last week, I totally suspected.
    Anyway, huge congratulations and LOTS of prayers! Pray to St. Gerard. Do you have a medal? You can get a blessed one one free from

  16. Cam,

    Praying for you lots! I've been waiting for this post for some time, as I've been so hoping! I hope that everything progresses just fine. The cessation of the spotting is an excellent sign. You're in my thoughts.

  17. I think it is totally appropriate to talk about what is going on. It gives the rest of us a chance to pray for you and the little one and it shows those of us who have had miscarriages that we are not the only ones who grieve those losses.

    I am so happy for you. Congratulations!

  18. Yay! Congratulations! I am so happy for you - been thinking of you in my prayers! :)

    We are crossing our fingers over here...hoping God blesses us soon.

  19. I'm behind on my blog reading, so I am just seeing this. Please know that I will be praying very much for you.


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