|Three birthdays and the birthday that almost was...|
Yesterday I was rather sickened by what I saw.
Maybe it's the time of year. I have a what-might-have-been anniversary, an almost second birthday, that will arrive at the end of this next week before putting the date behind us for another year. So when I opened Facebook I really didn't need to see what I saw, at the top of my news feed because more than one friend had thought it was a good idea to share it.
I understand why they did. The video was powerful. It showed a baby who I would guess to be somewhere in the middle of the second trimester, in an amniotic sac, sitting on a table while someone with gloves pokes and prods it. The baby is still alive and he kicks his legs and moves when poked.
My stomach hurts just thinking about it.
And there he was, on the middle of my Facebook page, slowly suffocating.
|The day the trouble started...|
I've seen pictures of aborted babies shared in the past and while I scroll past quickly, the effect wasn't the same. I feel sorrow at those pictures. But watching this video felt like watching death slowly creep across the screen. It was horrible and I found myself frozen for a moment, unable to scroll away.
It was too close, just too close. I've held a baby in an amniotic sac in my hand during the second trimester, torn the amniotic sac open, performed a conditional baptism, while in the hospital all on my own. In the months that followed I was made to feel like I was insane before finally finding a doctor who realized that that there was still a very big problem and that I needed surgery immediately (after three months of having other doctors tell me it was basically all in my head). For a while I would shake every time we drove by the hospital that would later write a long apology letter to us. And seeing that video brought those feelings flooding back.
Edited to add: With the rush of babies all around needing me right. this. second. I didn't flesh this out quite as well as I should have. My problems with the use of this video go far beyond my own emotional response. When I saw that video I couldn't help but seeing that tiny babies and his suffering being used as an end that, while showing his humanity also seemed to exploit it. I'm not sure that I can even put into words why it feels so very, very wrong, but it goes far beyond my own discomfort. I'm all for sharing the truth on social media. I'm willing to go outside of my comfort zone. But I'm not willing to use the death of this child as a blurb that people pass around on Facebook. It is wrong on so, so many levels.