Thursday, January 9, 2014
A Long Day and Bedtime Prayers
Whenever we have a day like yesterday I find myself over analyzing what she's eaten, what's going on, what can I do to help her. Was there gluten? No. Casein. Nope. Is there something new?!?!?! I'll find myself glancing around the kitchen on the verge of a panic attack.
At bedtime she was sobbing when Paul brought her up to her room. I tucked her favorite blanket around her and laid down next to her and sang to her about her favorite bear stealing her boots, which usually gets a smile. The crying stopped as she held my hand, but other than that she was silent. Most nights she'll put her little hands in the air and say "ickle, ickle, ickle!" which means "tickle, tickle, tickle!" because pretending that I am the tickle monster is pretty much the high light of her bedtime routine.
Last night was different though.
And then I told her a story about rescuing Oatmeal Bear from an imagined adventure and before I left the room she was sound asleep.
As I lay in bed last night, I kept thinking about that moment, and other moments that have stood out lately.
Sadie's faith has always been in the forefront of her words and thoughts. She talks about God frequently. When she began to speak one of the first things she told me was that she had to have a "Holy Baby" (nun) dress for her third birthday.
Mae has never showed an outward interest in our faith. When Sadie and I usually do her religion class, Mae would wander off to play. She had a little Bible that she loved to look at pictures in when she was tiny, but other than that I was never sure if she was paying attention when we would talk about God. She was always such a busy little kid, flitting from one activity to another, so I wasn't sure she'd heard a word that I'd said when we'd read the Bible or about the lives of the saints.
And even on days like yesterday, which can feel like a long slow uphill trudge to bedtime (where I know there's at least hope that the next day will be better... and today seems to be headed in that direction), there are still moments like those bedtime prayers, when all of the stress of the day falls away and she finally relaxed into the simple peacefulness of those familiar words as her tiny hands pressed together in prayer before she drifted off to her dreams.