I'm avoiding going to sleep right now. It's been three nights since this bizarre night time sickness started (because before it was just plain all the time flu) and I know that roughly half an hour after I fall asleep I'm going to wake up and be very, very sick. And after being violently ill I'll be okay for roughly four hours until I wake up at three something and am sick again. Then I'll wake up in the morning try to eat a Popsicle because honestly, I'm starving and nothing sounds good and instantly be sick again, because that's just how it is now.
That's the new schedule and I have to say: I don't like it.
I broke down and went to the ER this morning. First I called my OB and she said general practitioner or ER (it's the whole vomiting blood thing that tends to generate that response). When my general practitioner's office wasn't picking up the phone, I left the apartment for the first time in twelve days and drove to the hospital, feeling very much like an idiot for showing up for the ninth time in nine months. I felt more ridiculous checking in for the flu. Who goes the the ER for the flu, even if they can't keep a single sip of water down? Not me, I'd told myself less than twelve hours earlier. And yet there I was.
Everyone was nice, although conflicted about how sick I was. One nurse told me I didn't look sick enough for them to worry about dehydration yet. Another appeared and asked if there was anything he could get me because I looked pretty horrible. I tended to agree with him, since I have caught my reflection in the mirror of late, and half the time the only color that fits is green. I actually look green.
They took my blood pressure, noted that I had a fever and a pulse of 100, gave me two prescriptions for nausea, said it's probably not an ulcer, and sent me on my way. No tests of any kind were done. I can't take the medicine until I get a hold of my OB, per the doctor's orders and since that was a fail (it's only easy to get a hold of her in the morning) I'm thinking it's going to be another long night.
I have to say, being told I probably don't have an ulcer, when I've had ulcers on and off for over a decade and can tell pretty early on when one is flaring up, is rather annoying (I am 99.999% sure after this morning). It happened when I was pregnant with Sadie too. Everyone assumes the bleeding must be from a raw throat from morning sickness and instantly rules out an ulcer. And apparently explaining the horrid, searing acid sensation doesn't get you anywhere. Because there's a preconceived idea that it's the pregnancy and not anything else.
So I'm avoiding going to sleep. Because I've decided to cling to the slightly delusional dream that staying awake will mean not getting sick. It's bound to fail though. My eyes are already feeling heavy.
I might as well just get this over with and close my eyes...
Who knows, maybe last night was the last night of the flu and I'll wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow.
And tomorrow I'll try even harder to write an actual post about something other than being sick. Being sick is getting more than a little boring.