VBACs and "Choice"

You know what I think is strange?  That people across the country are outraged when they hear of legislation that would require a woman to look at an ultrasound picture of the life growing inside of her, an ultrasound that would already have had to be done for the doctor to see the baby, but that no one bats an eye when a huge number of hospitals in this country require that women have major abdominal surgery, undertaking far greater risks, because insurance companies have decided they like it better that way.

So it's a woman's right to decide whether or not to look at a picture that's already going to be taken, but it's not my choice to decide whether or not I want to have a surgeon cut into my uterus to remove my baby when there's no actual medical reason, to do so?

When we moved for Law School last year I had one very real hope for the immediate future and that was to move to an area where there existed a hospital that didn't have ridiculous "based on our insurance" VBAC policies, but instead actually based their policies on the health of the individual woman and the advice of her OB.

When Paul was accepted to Ave I immediately started googling Florida and VBACs and found that the area I was moving into was apparently just as bad as the one I was moving out of.  Every hospital I could find had either a formal or a de facto VBAC ban.  In California I could have driven four hours to get to a hospital that allowed VBACs.  Here it would be over a hundred miles north or east to find a hospital where it's "allowed."  The closest chapter of ICAN, according to their site is also over a hundred miles away, but I do plan on getting in touch with them.

With Mae I should have fought for a VBAC and I didn't because I still retained at tiny bit of trust and respect for hospitals and, despite the pretty horrible mistakes that were made during my previous labor (turning pitocin up, when the doctor said to turn it off, causing a contraction that lasted for an hour, after an emergency c-section had been ordered... to name one...), I still kind of believed they knew best.  Or at least had the best intentions.

I no longer believe that.  I've met individuals who I know devote their lives to helping people, doctors and nurses who are wonderful.  And I have a two page apology from one of the local hospitals about the incidents that occurred last April that basically says: "our contract workers really aren't our workers."  But the naivety that resulted in my last c-section is gone.  I'm no longer leaving my safety and health decisions in others hands.  You see, I've also met doctors who've endangered my life with their arrogance, so the blind trust has certainly disappeared.  I'm not going to do anything just because the hospital says it's best for them.

There's so much insanity surrounding VBAC policies.  When I went to the hospital the day before Mae was born, they sent me home.  I labored for hours at home, which seemed ridiculous since they were just going to make me do a c-section at the hospital.  And it sort of destroys the idea that they were so incredibly worried about my contractions rupturing my uterus, since they were okay with me having contractions and progressing at home, and told me to wait until I was far enough along to go into the hospital (I was 3 cm the first time I was sent home... my c-section was scheduled for three days later...).

And as for dangerous, what's going to be more dangerous, trying a VBAC after one or two c-sections, or having c-section after c-section since our family is open to life?  While I have no idea how long I'll be fertile, at thirty, it is possible that I have quite a few years left, just as it's possible that this is it.  We have averaged a baby every two years since we've been married.  Would they rather risk seven c-sections, or a VBAC after two?  I have a feeling that one is much more dangerous than the other.

But the hospitals and their insurance companies, often seem to only care about the risks right in this moment, at the expense of the individual's long term well being.

I'm really hoping for a VBAC this time.  If there's a medical reason for another c-section than I'll have one, but I'm not having one because the hospitals insurer prefers it that way.  I've heard that my doctor does VBACs, and I'm planning on asking what she thinks at my next appointment (all my other appointments have been about some scare or another and I always forget to bring it up!).  Does she do VBA2Cs?

I sure hope so...

I'm also thinking of trying hypno-babies since the nurses at the hospital did go out of their way to try to terrify me about VBACs during my miscarriage (isn't that sweet?).  So if anyone has any experiences with that program I'd love to hear about them!