At the OB's office the nurse was incredibly sweet. I'd written up the entire story of what has happened in an abbreviated, medical sort of version, so that I wouldn't leave anything out. She said that it sounded as if I was still passing placental tissue and, like pretty much everyone else who's heard the story, wondered why the hospital hadn't done a D&C right away.
She left and I looked around the room. There was a magazine with the doctor on the cover as the area's "doctor of the year." That's good right? He should know what was going on. The doctor came in a little while later. What follows is basically the conversation we had, from memory.
Doctor H: "I'm Dr. H______. I've reviewed your case and I stand by my earlier assessment. I talked to your doctor when you were in the ER and helped advise him and I believe that it's dysfunctional uterine bleeding. Sometimes when a woman has a miscarriage, the bleeding just doesn't stop and we have to use hormones to stop it." He gets the nurse and proceeds with the exam and then announces that things look good, my uterus is less tender and then, here it comes: If the bleeding doesn't stop in two months he'll do a D&C!!!
Now this sounds crazy to me. I try to draw the good doctor back to reality, which doesn't, in my layman's eyes, seem to match the picture he's painting.
Me: "What about the hemorrhaging? I'm losing huge amounts of blood in huge rushes every few days. I keep wondering when I should go in to the ER?"
Doctor H: "Well that should stop eventually, with the birth control pills. I'll have you take them for two months at least. Besides, your levels looked find at the hospital."
Me: Deciding not to mention that I've hemorrhaged two separate times since the hospital, because he already knows that fact: "And the back pain and the nausea? Is that a normal part of dysfunctional uterine bleeding?"
Doctor H: "No...." quietly: "Maybe it's psychological?" then louder: "Well the back pain could be from contractions. Contractions can cause back pain. And the nausea could be a result of the pain."
Me: "The hemorrhaging really worries me. How much blood do I need to use before I go to the ER?" I've already told him that I've lost so much blood it makes me light headed and dizzy, that we're talking about a "water breaking" type volume, that lasts for 3-5 minutes.
Doctor: "That should stop."
Me: "Oh." Silence. Because I'm beginning to realize that nothing that I could say, do, or have happen to me, could change his opinion, because he has decided.
Doctor H: "So birth control for two months and call me if there's a problem. I don’t imagine I’ll be able to convince you to stay on the pill for longer than that."
Me: (in my head) I don't think that will happening. I had less charitable thoughts too, some that, despite my not-quite-best efforts are still going through my head: Like how I couldn't really respond any more than I did because it seemed that his giant ego had sucked all the air out of the room.... He was so confident that he couldn't have been wrong on the phone on Saturday that there was no room for any other possibilities... He seemed to have made his decision before talking to or examining me.
And since we don't have insurance... that's $200 down the drain...
So.... I had already called the local Catholic NFP doctor. She's supposed to be kind of difficult to get a hold of since she's so busy, but I'm hoping that my tearful second message might result in a call back. The logic of this whole appointment just seems insane to me. If he's wrong, which quite a lot of evidence/symptoms seem to point to, I will have been bleeding from July through December before they do a D&C.
In trying to look on the bright side, the physical stress has put me back below the weight I was when I got married... Allow me a sarcastic: Woohoo... I've actually found myself laughing, rather bitterly, about this whole situation, because it just seems so absurd.
I am feeling mighty close to that woman in the bible who touched Jesus' cloak or sleeve, or whatever it was. Maybe I should see about anointing of the sick?
As always, prayers are appreciated. And I can't really be too stressed. Sadie is dancing around the room with a microphone in her princess dress singing the Sleeping Beauty song "once upon a dream" while Mae Bae tries to destroy the DVD case...