Thursday, October 13, 2011


Does this sound crazy to anyone else?

I was really looking forward to getting some answers at the doctor's appointment today.  I'll admit that I was hopeful, despite last night's "incident" and waking up with cramps so painful this morning that I couldn't stand upright.

At the OB's office the nurse was incredibly sweet.  I'd written up the entire story of what has happened in an abbreviated, medical sort of version, so that I wouldn't leave anything out.  She said that it sounded as if I was still passing placental tissue and, like pretty much everyone else who's heard the story, wondered why the hospital hadn't done a D&C right away.  

She left and I looked around the room.  There was a magazine with the doctor on the cover as the area's "doctor of the year."  That's good right?  He should know what was going on.  The doctor came in a little while later.  What follows is basically the conversation we had, from memory.

Doctor H: "I'm Dr. H______.  I've reviewed your case and I stand by my earlier assessment.  I talked to your doctor when you were in the ER and helped advise him and I believe that it's dysfunctional uterine bleeding.  Sometimes when a woman has a miscarriage, the bleeding just doesn't stop and we have to use hormones to stop it."  He gets the nurse and proceeds with the exam and then announces that things look good, my uterus is less tender and then, here it comes: If the bleeding doesn't stop in two months he'll do a D&C!!!

Now this sounds crazy to me.  I try to draw the good doctor back to reality, which doesn't, in my layman's eyes, seem to match the picture he's painting.

Me:  "What about the hemorrhaging?  I'm losing huge amounts of blood in huge rushes every few days.  I keep wondering when I should go in to the ER?" 

Doctor H:  "Well that should stop eventually, with the birth control pills.  I'll have you take them for two months at least.  Besides, your levels looked find at the hospital."

Me:  Deciding not to mention that I've hemorrhaged two separate times since the hospital, because he already knows that fact:  "And the back pain and the nausea?  Is that a normal part of dysfunctional uterine bleeding?"  

Doctor H:  "No...." quietly: "Maybe it's psychological?" then louder:  "Well the back pain could be from contractions.  Contractions can cause back pain.  And the nausea could be a result of the pain."

Me:  "The hemorrhaging really worries me.  How much blood do I need to use before I go to the ER?" I've already told him that I've lost so much blood it makes me light headed and dizzy, that we're talking about a "water breaking" type volume, that lasts for 3-5 minutes.

Doctor:  "That should stop."

Me:  "Oh."  Silence.  Because I'm beginning to realize that nothing that I could say, do, or have happen to me, could change his opinion, because he has decided.  

Doctor H:  "So birth control for two months and call me if there's a problem.  I don’t imagine I’ll be able to convince you to stay on the pill for longer than that." 
Me: (in my head) I don't think that will happening.  I had less charitable thoughts too, some that, despite my not-quite-best efforts are still going through my head:  Like how I couldn't really respond any more than I did because it seemed that his giant ego had sucked all the air out of the room....  He was so confident that he couldn't have been wrong on the phone on Saturday that there was no room for any other possibilities... He seemed to have made his decision before talking to or examining me.  

And since we don't have insurance... that's $200 down the drain...

So....  I had already called the local Catholic NFP doctor.  She's supposed to be kind of difficult to get a hold of since she's so busy, but I'm hoping that my tearful second message might result in a call back.  The logic of this whole appointment just seems insane to me.  If he's wrong, which quite a lot of evidence/symptoms seem to point to, I will have been bleeding from July through December before they do a D&C.  

In trying to look on the bright side, the physical stress has put me back below the weight I was when I got married...  Allow me a sarcastic: Woohoo...  I've actually found myself laughing, rather bitterly, about this whole situation, because it just seems so absurd.

I am feeling mighty close to that woman in the bible who touched Jesus' cloak or sleeve, or whatever it was.  Maybe I should see about anointing of the sick?

As always, prayers are appreciated.  And I can't really be too stressed.  Sadie is dancing around the room with a microphone in her princess dress singing the Sleeping Beauty song "once upon a dream" while Mae Bae tries to destroy the DVD case...


  1. I've met more egotistical incompetents in the medical field than in any other-- as one wonderful maternal fetal specialist told me, "there are ass holes in my field too"

    I'd certainly ask for the annointing of the sick. Clearly you need it.

    Oh, and my husband comes in with me to all my OB appointments, amazing how my care has improved since he got involved. LOL!!

  2. Prayers going up from your servant, a seminarian

  3. I've had male doctors suggest I might be a mental case too.

    Oddly enough, they stopped doing that once my husband started going to my appointments and insisting that what I was telling them was true.

    So I guess the medical professionals think women are stupid and mental (ESPECIALLY if they are traditional in their role in the family) but that men are not-- or else they fear that my hubby coming along means they will have to deal with HIM if anything bad happens to me.

    I also found that once I had two children virtually every doctor I went to for ANY problem (even allergies!) suggested birth control pills... it was like the moment we had that second child then the ideal situation was for my fertility to die immediately.

    the culture of death has a deep hold on the medical profession!

  4. I'm really shocked that this dr. wants you to bleed for another 2 months before he's willing to do anything. It doesn't make any sense to me. I hope you're able to see another dr. who is willing to help you. Not having insurance just makes this situation even more stressful I would imagine. I'm praying that things get better for you soon.

  5. Wow, that is terrible. Definitely worth going the Catholic route at this point or finding a naturopathic doctor. Losing all that blood sounds really dangerous. Don't worry about the money and just let God do his miracles.

  6. I would find a new doctor I'm surprised a D&C wasn't done right away.

  7. That's awful. He seems to think of you as a bit fanatical, exaggerated or delusional, which is offensive. Is this the same doctor you saw last time who was so nice?

    I hope you can get a second opinion. If you were in the D.C. area I think I could get you an appt. with an awesome Catholic OB/GYN for free but, alas, he isn't in Florida. :( Hang in there. Praying for you!

  8. Cam, if the doctor talked with the doctor in the ER and helped shape your treatment plan then at this point he's going to be reluctant to change his opinion. Frankly, I'm no big fan of male OB/GYN's I've been treated well by a couple when I was hospitalized for a long time during my pregnancies, but I've had a whole lot more male doctors who were dismissive, and in more than one case down right incompetent. I've had better experiences in general with female OB's, although I certainly dealt with one that wasn't much for bedside manner either.

    I take it that no one did a blood draw today to see what your current hematocrit was.

    The big advantage of starting over with another doctor is that they are less apt to be locked in to a particular diagnosis.

    I nearly died back in my twenties because a very stubborn OB misdiagnosed an ectopic pregnancy. Had it not been for my husband insisting on my staying in the hospital after an unnecessary D&C and a very caring nurse who kept calling the doctor when my blood pressure kept going down, I wouldn't be here today. It certainly cured me of any notion I had of the infallibility of doctors.

  9. I've called a second OB (female! Catholic! NFP!) and am hoping she can squeeze me in. I've heard she's really super busy, but I left a message explaining as well as I could in a short message and I'm going to send a note with one of my friends who is going to see her tomorrow for an appointment.

    This one is the one the ER doctor referred me to. They didn't do a blood draw today, and it seemed he'd made his decision before even coming into the room. I could tell the nurse didn't seem happy with it, because she'd talked with me for a long time before he came in. Ugh.

    Really hoping the NFP doctor can get me in.

  10. I really hope you are able to get into the Catholic DR! I am so sorry that you are going through this. Will pray that everything works out and you are feeling better soon (and get some good answers!).

  11. Doctors can be stubborn, this one seems to fit the bill perfectly. And when he is wrong he will still want to get paid. I'm in the wrong line of work.

    I still haven't done my prayers today (lazy Baron!), I'll see to it that you get 5 decades and a divine mercy. In the mean time, I would definitely get a priest to anoint you.

  12. My friend had a similar problem. She kept going to the doctor for all sorts of symptoms. They gave her antidepressants and said it was in her head. Turns out it was lupus!

    I've also had better treatment from doctors when I bring Colin. One time, they wanted to send me for a test for my asthma that could have hospitalized me. I brought Colin to the next appointment and the doctor changed her tune and I didn't need the test after all. I know it's hard, but see if Paul can go next time.

  13. Actually something almost identical happened to me. I was going to a female OB who pushed bc pills, and told me to take them and pain pills for 3 months, if I didn't stop bleeding after 3 months to come back in. Needless to say, I stopped seeing her and now go to a Male pro-life ob. Oddly enough the bc pills made the bleeding worse. When I stopped the pills the bleeding stopped a few days later...

  14. Your issues makes my issues look like child's play. BTW your snoods look absolutely gorgeous. Wish I could buy the whole lot (especially the white one you profiled pretty recently). I haven't had to deal with doctors that bad, but my previous pretty close at times. To be frank I would totally request the Sacrament of the Sick. In my opinion, you would most certainly qualify.

  15. I totally agree, Insane! I'd try anointing you never know God might work some miraculous dead. It might even be as simple as getting you to the right doctor.

  16. I had a miscarriage and bled for a month even with pills.I was weak, sore and dazed most of the time. Finally I became hysterical and the doctor did a D&C. Please see another doc. You shouldn't have to suffer like this.

  17. sorry about your pain, i miscarried at home and bled for weeks, i, myself thought it was more bloody than a full term delivery. I don't know how long you have suffered with this. good advice above, blood work is needed, is your blood too thin for various reasons? how about a hormonal assessment? not the lousy excuse of birth control pills.... God Bless


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