Autism, Allergies and Other Things that People Have Told Me Aren't Real... on autism...

Between my news feed and email I've seen quite a few articles/comments/forum posts telling me lately all sorts of things about major aspects of our lives, that other people would like me, and other moms like me, to know aren't actually "real."  At least once a week I see other moms lamenting the fact that autism is something that's made up to make mom's feel cool about their kids (okay I really need to send the Cafe Mom emails I get straight to spam).  There's usually a post about how allergies aren't real either (how else can you explain the sudden increase?  It must be made up!), and at least a few people are usually going on about how gluten sensitivities are all in the heads of people who have them.

Usually I take a deep breath and pass on by these types of posts.  After all, these people have usually heard everything I have to say from people they actually know and they don't believe it, so they're unlikely to look twice (or think about) something that a complete stranger has said.

Still, since this is my little slice of the internet I was inspired to use my little space to ramble for a while about these three subjects, since they're all fairly important aspects of the little life that I find myself living here.

There's not much I can say about the whole "autism is something that's made up to make moms feel cool about having 'special' kids" except maybe... really (and yes, I really have heard this, this week)?

To those who have thought something along these lines... Do you really think that parent's spend hours and hours carting they're kids to doctor's appointments and specialists and sitting in little rooms watching their child go through tests that are likely to be very frustrating to them because it "makes them feel special" or makes me feel like my kind is "cool" (that was part of the claim too, that it's cool to have a special needs kid right now, like it's something people do to be on trend) in a world where I'm pretty certain most people won't think that particular diagnosis is "cool" at all.

The thing is, I absolutely didn't take my daughter to the doctor to get a diagnosis to make her "extra special."  Her Dad and I already knew that she was pretty amazing.  We already understood that she's brave and funny and beautiful.

When a doctor's appointment for tummy troubles that just wouldn't go away turned into the doctor saying that she was "100% that Mae was on the spectrum" I was shocked.  Did I feel "extra special" as a mom or that I was somehow "cooler."  Nope.  People who say this sort of thing might be surprised to hear this, but it really wasn't about me at all.

I felt mildly panicked because the word was so huge and looming and unknown.  Later, when I learned more and more that scariness was stripped away and as I began to read more and more about (and by) some pretty amazing people on the spectrum it was put away altogether... especially as my focus turned to how I could help Mae not feel frustrated in a world that doesn't think the same way that she does.

This may shock people who apparently see children as some sort of a status symbol, but most people seek out doctor's and are thankful for some sort of a diagnosis, because they're trying to help their children in a world that just doesn't seem to be making sense to them.  It isn't about "special-ness" or "coolness" (really, just writing that feels absurd) or anything like that.  It's about trying to understand and help the children that we love.

And that leads me on to allergies... and the allergy wars that have been going on of late.