Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thoughts from a Barefoot Breeder

Now and then I get an email or a comment, usually from an anonymous source, who has been offended by something that I have written. I must say that it seems odd to me that people who are so deeply disturbed by my ramblings would waste their time reading my daily thoughts. It seems even odder that rather than clicking a button and moving away from the page they decide to comment or, stranger still, send me an actual email (because frankly, sending someone who I have decided I don’t like an email, seems like a colossal waste of time). Maybe that’s because I usually only comment when I really like something that someone has written. If I disagree I read through it and if I feel strongly enough about a subject I start thinking over a new post for my blog. Unfortunately, lately, most of the things that I’ve found disturbing have had to do with abortion and I’ve neglected other subjects, because it’s such a critical topic.

I’ve gone back and forth in my head over whether or not to even post the negative (and sometimes downright mean) comments that are left anonymously (you can write all the nice comments you want anonymously and I’ll post them!). When the name calling gets crass, I usually draw a line. I don’t want that on my blog. If the person can limit name-calling (with a monumental act of self control) I will usually post the comment. Then again sometimes I don’t. I guess it depends on my mood. On my severely sleep deprived days I’m more likely to just delete the comment, rather then deal with writing a response. If I’m wide awake and up to a match of verbal sparring, I’ll let the fact that the person is apparently so ashamed of what they’ve written that they won’t even put their name next to it slide, and let them anonymously vent.

I do think it’s rather odd that some people read a single post (usually about abortion) and seem to think they know everything about me (this is seldom a pretty picture). That’s usually when the name-calling starts!

Rarely I get some pretty disturbing stuff. One woman, who had had an abortion and was clearly having a very hard time dealing with what she had done, sent me two rather long emails that can only be described as absolutely foul (and incredibly graphic) for saying, quite simply that, the Church does not allow abortions. I’ve been praying for her for the last month, because anyone who lashes out in that way, at someone they don’t even know (and she did sign her name) is clearly in an incredibly amount of pain. Thankfully I have, for the most part, been meeting some amazing people on here and I’ve been absolutely inspired by many of you (you’re in my prayers too!).

While I was feeding Sadie today (which lately, has given me something to “offer up” because she is teething and teething and nursing can sometimes be pretty excruciating) I was going over a comment I received, that was on the “mild” end of the spectrum, in my head. The reader suggested that my views on birth control would condemn all the girl’s in the world to being “breeders” and went on to say that people with my views are “Jesus Freaks” who have been “brainwashed” and given away their cognitive powers to their religion (or religious leaders). Hmmmm… I have so many people to pray for these days it’s hard to keep everyone straight!

The first thought that popped into my head was that I would rather have given up the power to think for myself to a religious belief system, than abandon it to the liberal professors (whose egos could fill an entire classroom), who shape and mold many of the bright young minds of today. Looking back my liberal arts education felt a bit like brainwashing. Many of my classes were taught by self-professed communists intent on “enlightening” our young capitalistically tainted minds. Talk about brainwashing!

Thankfully, our belief in Christ doesn’t require that we give up the minds and powers of reasoning that God gave us. It does require that we reject sin, again and again, and I can see how that could be confusing to some people. It is very popular these days to do the wrong thing, just because we can. Making the decision to do the right thing, to develop a conscience and a prayer life and a deep meaningful relationship with God, isn’t really on the list of popular trends. People who have never tried to do this cannot even begin to fathom the changes that they see in others who embark on this journey. Brainwashing is a convenient, already packaged, excuse they use when they see something that they don’t understand.

Finding my way home to the Church took all the powers of reasoning that I possessed (and even that would never have been sufficient without the grace of God!). Absorbing as many of the teachings and as much of the history as I possibly can in my short time on Earth is an ongoing process.

And to answer the comment about “breeders,” I guess I can’t deny that the term, as our kind friend pointed out, may fit. Our family is open to having as many children as God blesses us with. So far that’s only one. However I cannot think of a greater honor than receiving and carrying the gift of life, which has become so undervalued in our society. If God blesses us again we will joyously welcome that blessing.

I guess it all just depends on how you look at it. The person who says that women who have large families are “breeders” obviously cannot yet understand the gift that life always is. Life doesn’t come and doesn’t depart on our terms (though many seem to think that it should). It isn’t always convenient or neat, nor does it always fit into our “plans.” But it is always wonderful and amazing and even in the hardest of circumstances life persists and remains, a blessing despite trials.


  1. i am so glad i found your blog- you are a blessing to me!

  2. Lovely post Cam. I hope that those readers who offend you will see that there is something more to life than selfishness, ambition and desire for control. Fear of children and treating them as 'things' that have to fit into one's lifestyle is very telling about the culture that puts the self into the centre of everything and sees personal pleasure as the ultimate good. Of course you will be challenged and hated for your counter-cultural views. The blog is thought provoking and intelligent so please carry on writing about the issues you feel strongly about without watering them down to the level acceptable to secular minds. Will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  3. Just wanted to say that I appreciate you and your blog :) Thank you for having the courage to discuss the crucial life issues of our day.


  4. To me anonymous sounds like an aging feminist who is angry and confused about the younger generation's rejection of the feminist manifesto.

    It's truly sad that some people go through life not understanding at all why motherhood and mothers are the cornerstone of society. To relegate motherhood to mindless Jesus freak zombies who don't think are the cries of one living in a secluded ivory tower. One who is afraid to truly engage this world.

  5. Thanks ypu Tami, Natasa, Tiffany and Paul! You are all wonderful!

    Most of the responses I've gotten have been from amazingly supportive people... It's just every couple of weeks (or sometimes days depending on the subject I'm addressing) the rants come through and I'm never sure how to respond (whether to post them or not).

    Thanks again for the lovely comments! Most of the feedback I've gotten from my posts has been absolutely amazing!

  6. You are a very courageous woman to be able to write about issues that are very important to individuals and society as a whole. Your posts are always very thought-provoking and authentic. Keep up the good work!


I love comments and I read every single comment that comes in (and I try to respond when the little ones aren't distracting me to the point that it's impossible!). Please show kindness to each other and our family in the comment box. After all, we're all real people on the other side of the screen!